No Luck With Job Search :(

Have you thought about volunteering? Or take a course for a WFH job.

 

Anika, get your priorities right. Your husband's anger may look bad on the face, but there is a good reason. Do you think it is worth pursuing a job which won't pay you enough while trying to balance work and family? Don't listen to your SIL's words, the women in the circle are there only for that reason. To frustrate the hell out of you. Next time she says such a thing, tell her you sympathize with her, you feel bad for her kid because the kid is missing out on quality time and it is better your SIL resigns, why she is stressing herself out, etc. That will be enough for her to shut her mouth. You keep applying and when you find the job that is a right fit, you just go ahead and join. Though there is ageism in the work force in USA, it is not as bad as in other countries. Have you seriously considered using some talent of yours to pursue a vocation - for example, writing on social media sites, some of them pay you. There are lots of avenues other than job to make money - if you have the skill and attitude for it. I would have done something like that if I had the financial knowledge or the guts. Unfortunately, I lack those skills and I don't have the inclination for such things, otherwise I would gladly do something like that. Don't become desperate, think a bit calmly. I am sure you will find something. And again, you cannot stop people from commenting, that's what they do all the time. As long as you and hubby are fine with each other and you are happy with your kid, don't bother. If your aim is to fortify yourself, then think what you can do, you need not make your life difficult.

 

Dear @anika987

I am sorry for what you are going through....

Stress is the gap between our expectation and reality. Looks like you are designed in such a way that you believe "happiness" is having a career - an identity.
You sound like you are desperate in finding this identity to prove to the world that you are no less than them.
It is perhaps a result of what has happened to you in the past. May be the School bullying, or your introvert nature or the pressure from PILs, or may be your low self esteem.

But believe me..... Happiness is not any of them. You can't find happiness from outside.
It is just a state of mind. It has to come from within.....

Trust me.... This kind of happiness last until you get their.... You will live in a bubble for a week or so. Then everything is back to normal. It is like having an ice cream!!!

Let's say you are lucky to have found this job. A reasonably paying job as per your qualifications.
But there is no guarantee that the job is less stressful. Leave alone the stress that you may bring home with regards to time management, house works, kid/school etc and the day today commute.
Office stress and work stress is entirely a different thing. You - as a newly joined staff would go through a lot with different people in the work place.

By going through your old posts, I foresee a mean co-worker, a double standard manager, a show off female staff, etc..etc... in your team, and probably all of them would gang up to break your heart unnecessarily.
Would you still think this is the happiness???

Looking at the positive side.... Yes, you can change your FB profile from "house wife - professional". There will be 100s of likes and wishes.
Initially for a week or so, you would be tired of answering phone calls from each part of the world congratulating you.
In those days your only problem would be to update your linked-In page, and migrating your personal/professional e-mails.

Yes, it WILL surely boost your ego. Your self esteem will fly up and it may sound like you live in a bubble.
But everything will fall back in place within a week or so.

Everyone (including your nosy PILs) would take it as normal, and continue their true colors, your inner self (the introvert you) will come back and here you are - the same old Anika with double stress (work & home).

This is where you lose hope, lose interest at work, start seeing the cons of it, and feel hopeless..... and as a result, obviously getting fired from work (like it happened before).
Again.... stress.... this time, due to the fear of getting cornered, fear of getting insulted etc..etc...

Do you really want this?????

 

Especially agree on this. Facing office politics while trying to earn some dignity and self-respect. That's why it is better to be self-employed, especially if one has reasonable talent. I am seeing women do stock trading to supplement their income, possibly as a way to retire early. It is not that one has to do an office job to prove themselves, they can find other means too, provided the atmosphere and timing are right.

 

Hi !
I had to reply here and acknowledge that @SGBV has actually broken down the issues for you and I completely agree !
Kudos for that post !
And just to add, I cannot wait to 'Retire' from job and start doing something meaningful in my life
Its always perspective and its always relative !

 

@anika987
Is it necessary always to seek and work for some one else who hustle employee’s tail for a pittance?

Why it is not possible to think in terms of becoming yourself an entrepreneur. If you can’t reach the goal post, change goal post itself.

Hubby savings you borrow and invest as an entrepreneur.

Living fast and dying young is not present style, every one know. In fact, most of us have a secret dream deep in our hearts - one that we want to fulfil.
Many think turning into a business only when they hang their boots around 60.

Have you always thought of to turn into a chef, a farmer or a life coach or run a gym franchise, when you are in prime?

Yes, you heard it right your forty is new twenty. The time to fulfil all those dreams could be just when you crave for a career after a long break.

So, what's your dream?

It's no longer difficult to dream big, dream unusual or have a strong desire to leave a legacy behind. And plenty of young and old folk are taking the road to entrepreneurship or a new job or a freelance gig well after they have employed or retired.

The reasons could be diverse - perhaps the career you got into at a young age hasn't really engaged you the way you would have liked, perhaps the urge to earn big after contending with a lifetime of a fixed pay packet drives you or it could be simply that you want to leave your mark on the world with a really kickass business.

You can dream of starting your own book store? Or a restaurant that sells your signature dishes or and cookies? Perhaps you want to buy yourself a couple of acres and grow a lucrative bamboo plantation? The possibilities are as endless as they can be financially and emotionally fulfilling.

If you aren't convinced your passion alone can fuel your success in your search for job, here are some more reasons:

You have seen life this far through its ups and downs, and can bring a lifetime's worth of experience to play when you launch out on your own. A lifetime of connecting with colleagues, friends and clients helps you develop a large circle of acquaintances you can reach out to for business, advice or partnerships.
Knowledge accumulated over the years helps bring perspective, balance and vision to the new venture you plan to start.

While you start planning for the dream venture, you should also account for a few things. Not all businesses or ventures or gigs will start being profitable from day one. Patience is key. With the right mix of perseverance and dedication, the returns should turn positive within a year or two.

Vagaries of market - This is not something in your hands, but you need to account for dips and rises in demand for the product or service you are pitching. You should be ready to ride the waves of unpredictability in a fast changing world.

While you are still raring to go, you need to strike a balance between work and life. Health could need a bit of extra attention as you inch into your forty’s.. Starting a good fitness regimen from now could be a good way to ensure you are fit to undertake the rigours of a new business later on.

Are you on the right track?

It's never too early to start planning if you want to follow your heart once you decided and determined. Here's how you can prep yourself well from now to reap the rich harvest in few years.

Start with a deep dive into your soul, ask yourself about the dream you want to follow, check if you have the passion and personality, talents and inner drive to make it a success.

Go in for certifications, diplomas or weekend courses that allow you to get skilled in the field of your choice. Look around for fellow small business owners who can be a great source of support and advice and are often willing to share their wisdom.

Join meet-up groups like MLM business - AMWAY- in your area where you can meet other entrepreneurs and learn from them, in your spare time. Read up all you can on the business you plan to pursue, check online resources regularly to update yourself on advances in the sector you plan to plunge into.

If you aren't comfortable already, learn to use technology like video conferencing, emailing and collaborating online. Most future businesses will be heavily tech reliant. Before you go into business, look for a way to try out your idea on the side first. You could do this by volunteering at a farm or a cafe if that's what you want to start on your own in the future.

I have adapted these ideas for you from an insurance promoter and amway distributor. The couple one chartered accountant running already as ceo a bubblecom & spouse a post grad in nuclear physics. In less than a decade as distributors they travelled free all over the globe that includes China with combined monthly earnings around 5 lacs plus royalties.
With best wishes &
Regards

God bless .

 

Wonderful ideas...OP ,we all go thr middle age crisis at one point of time.This is normal.you are getting good replies here..Look for 'virtual assistant' roles or be a whitehat jr teacher(you do not need much coding exp) ..There are lot many new roles out there.I never had success with indeed or any job portals .I directly apply in company websites and got good response.Come out of the old ways of job searching or seeking to be content.You need to format yourself and everything will fall in place .Best of luck