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No courtesies please- we're Indians

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by bmaquarius, Nov 19, 2015.

  1. bmaquarius

    bmaquarius Gold IL'ite

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    All through school years we prided ourselves for good behaviour and manners. Few years out of high school and we are back to natural boorish origins. I know the stress of being among a billion plus still exploding, space crunch and other constraints, make us quite aggressive and brutal at times. Yet, can't we be nice to our fellow people, sans the killer instinct or, is it asking for too much.
    Since I travel regularly to the city, commuting by public transport system, I'm thrown in the company of perfect strangers, for most parts of the day. Here you find even the most sophisticate, elegant people have an uncontrolled urge to push, jostle, hurtling people in their way, disregarding age or failings, for a seat or a foothold into local trains and buses. Even if simply walking past, the urge to overtake the ones before, is always tantalising, we simply got to rush ahead of others. It is a norm in the city and we get completely insane about it. Seriously, we never request for space- we simply elbow our way ahead, spread or sprawl with bags in utter contempt of people around.
    Why on earth would people want to comb, brush hair causing wisps of hair fly, spritz perfume or deodorant causing coughing fits to allergic fellow travellers, apply lotions flailing arms about, knocking into faces, a regular phenomenon in the women's coaches where space is premium, is something beyond comprehension. Can we be discreet and do this in the privacy of homes or powder rooms, please. I've tried politely telling them, but of not much avail. Bags, totes, knapsack, laptop bags are another nuisance thrust into your face without much ado, in crowded public transports. Correct them, and people quickly brace up for a fight. Aisa hota hai, So what?? No big deal, they say. But, never sorry.
    We are not lacking social graces, but use them sparingly, only with people and places that matter. We are best when we know we are watched, and want to impress at formal functions and social events. At swanky malls, restaurants, clubs, we request and thank liberally for the service, compliment the chef, tipping generously and graciously, However, we find it unnecessary to extend similar courtesies among lesser people and places. We are brazenly rude to our staff and subordinates, domestic helps, maid, cook, driver, watchman, cleaners, sweepers, rickshaw wallahs or even the simple local vendors. Is it because they aren't worth the effort, perhaps ego at work or that we just don't respect labour. We need to relearn lessons on human dignity.

    Mobile manners is completely irrelevant and beyond us. Compulsive talkers that we are, 4G and any such packs, won't exhaust us, given our raucous conversation at any space, homes or the public places park, mall, theatre or silent zones, we are simply unbridled sharing intimate details aloud with interested and not so ones surrounding us. We recently discovered the joys of playing movies videos, music and gaming on high decibels on mobile, unconcerned of any inconvenience to others. Noise is something we revel and celebrate, our public display of private celebration- house parties, religious celebrations, weddings and numerous festivals around the year get us in perpetual celebratory mood, accompanied by deafening music, dance and firecrackers. We got to show the world, is our motto.

    We hate discipline big time, so never queue up unless absolutely compulsory, and ideally prefer to swarm around, like bees for most things, from booking, billing, enquiry, payment counters, we sneak in, or rush from one window to another trying to get first, a sight most frequent at shopping with trolleys knocking anyone in the way. We jostle at temples to get inside, once inside, we stampede to see the God. We are never at peace or let others be. Thankfully, we are better behaved at the banks and ATMs, maybe because money matters.

    Our impatience extends to our food zones, too. Perfectly decent people queue up behind your back never letting you eat in peace without making you feel guilty, breathing down your neck, waiting for you to finish, frequent at popular hotels, restaurants and most commonly wedding banquets, We're plain afraid the best portions of the food could get over, so the anxiety. It's plain gluttony at work.

    Traffic lanes are the adult play zones. We love whizzing past every vehicle in sight, safety be damned. At the traffic signals, we can barely check the urge to jump lights, every time we don't see the traffic police lurking around the corner. If caught we flash our Identity, grease off, argue, but, hate to pay up without fuss. You see, we never accept mistakes gracefully. Lane cutting is another favourite, we rush into every imaginary space, can barely wait to get ahead of others, honking every second. God forbid, any struggling driver were to hold up traffic; the deadly looks and dirty swearing is enough to him forget the contraptions of wheel and gears.

    Our airline travellers are not any different. Moment they enter the airport, they can barely wait to take off, impatient with indicator schedule, rushed with baggage checks, boarding passes, security checks, gleeful like school kids, hardly able to wait to get inside the aircraft and equally frenzied while landing. Barely, has the aircraft touched down, than passengers switch on mobiles before permitted, struggling to drag out cabin baggage, crowding the aisle and reach for the exits, before airline could stop taxiing, only if we could open the windows to look out. Once let outside, we scramble towards the first vehicle conveying us to airport, to receive the baggage, even before the cargo arrives. I remember a friend who neatly red ribboned the baggage, for unique identification. Unfortunately there was a similar red ribboned bag causing a mix up, when my friend hurriedly picked the wrong one without bothering to check, hastily rushing for the cab. What ensued was troubled times since his bag contained important medical profile. Of course, it was retrieved with some difficulty. Now only if the gentleman was little less rushed, it would have spared him the panic. But we never learn, do we.
     
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  2. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Bmaquarius,
    A wonderful narration of what Indian society is.Westerners seem to be more disciplined,that is what I thought.While entering the airport in New york for the first time in 1999,for a two month stay, We thought everything would be orderly and we may not have any problem of 'push' and pull. To our dismay and disappointment we saw that many Westerners were simply bypassing the lines by entering the rope partitions.
    I had to conclude that it was a human tendency and not Indian tendency.
    Singapore cleanliness is known world wide.The same Singaporeans who hesitate to throw a piece of paper in Changi Airport for fear of punishment, are in search of a place to relieve themselves on Chennai roads.
    But once discipline is maintained to avoid punishment,it becomes a part of human nature,at least in their country.
    Tracing one's luggage has become a torture inspite of the bright colours of the boxes, decorative ribbons etc.It often reminds of the mark'x' in the story of Alibaba and forth thieves,Last time my son's family arrived in Chennai in July.They could trace only two boxes out of 6.After standing in the airport for nearly three hrs they returned.It was revealed that the airport authorities had not loaded their boxes from Sanfrancisco itself.The boxes arrived after 4 days.They had to spend a few thousands for new address,since they had to attend some function.
    Individually even people who are soft spoken and dare not speak loudly behave in an unruly manner when they want to extricate from the crowd.That is associated with mob psychology, say the sociologists.

    Jayasala 42
     
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  3. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    bmaquarius have you by any chance watched the serial Supernatural? In that Crowley, a demon who has replaced Lucifer as the king of hell gives a tour of his kingdom to the angel Castiel. Castiel just sees a lot of guys standing in queue under a sign "PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER". Castiel asks what are they doing. Crowley replies that he has found that the souls in hell got inured to tortures so he has come up with this after finding out that what people hate and fear most is standing in a queue. So all souls are made to stand in a queue. "What happens when they reach the front of the queue?" asks Castiel. "Simple they start over again".

    It is human nature to hate queues. In some of Delhi's most crowded stations people stand in queue but once the train arrives there is only push and shove. People don't even have the decency to allow the passengers to alight and rush in pushing each other.​ As for mobiles once while returning home in the evening, I got caught in a traffic jam. Actually it was a green light but still vehicles were not moving. It turned out that one of the guys had parked his car in the middle of traffic and gassing away to glory on his mobile.
     
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  4. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear bmaquarious,
    People behave different in different places. Where they have to follow Que system they would follow it and where they have the option they push themselves. It depends on the place they are in. Nobody thinks of order or decency or courtesy. Human tendency.....no other reason. Did you observe in weddings during dinners? How they push to serve their food from buffet tables? At the ice cream counter they behave in such a way as if they have never tasted ice cream in their life. These are all ultra rich weddings!
    Syamala
     
  5. Agatha83

    Agatha83 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear bmaquarious,
    What you have written is cent percent true. I have a neighbour who keeps the volume of their tv to the fullest and even during evenings when I would like to recite some prayers in peace ,there is no respite from those lousy serials,inspite of my main door being kept closed. The neighbours being senior citizens, the reason they give for their irksome behavior is that they both are hard of hearing!
     
  6. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    I think everyone is running to be the "first" everywhere. In US, during the after thanksgiving sale, there is a huge rush in the shops.
     
  7. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    OP:
    Your amusing posting reminded me of an incident some years ago when I was in Delhi. I went with a couple friends for shopping in CP and we stopped at some fast food place in the middle of the afternoon when folks were not normally eating. There was a huge open area in front of the counter to accommodate the normal teaming crowd. Suddenly I feel this person (turned out to be a woman...normal looking woman) plastered against the back of me. Since she and her husband and my group were the only ones in this waiting area I turned to her and I asked "Why are you pressing against me?" Shocked, she looked around to notice the complete lack of other patrons and the ludicrousness of the situation hit her and she doubled up in whoops of laughter.
     
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