Newly Married - Questions about Intimacy!

I push him away..what do i do?

Hi all!

I'm married for a year now. We haven't been able to have intercourse ever. We have foreplays but when it gets to the time of it, it is kinda painful i push him away. So he goes down, then it takes time for him to get ready.

I have tried controlling myself, still we aren't successful yet.

However, our parents are ready for their grand child. Me and my husband are very nice to each other. I respect his pleasures too. Please help me.. I'm stressed because of this. Can I ever have an intercourse with my husband?

Thanks in advance for your advice.
- A

 

Self Satisfaction - is it alright ?

Dear IL's,

I'm new to this forum. and after seeing the threads, i thought of posting my doubt.

I'm married and 26 yrs old. Recently i noticed that when i spray water with hand shower on my vagina part for sometime, the force of water and the sprinkling effect causes the same feeling that i get while having IC with DH. some kind of pleasure going through all over the body for about 5/10 seconds.

So i started doing this to myself once in 2/3 days. for the past 2 months. I want to know has anybody felt something similar to this. IS THIS SAFE ???

 

Re: I push him away..what do i do?

Hi frnd

Dnt worry.i think u r stressing yourself like me.Lots of foreplay u had but u r feeling the pain means meet the Gynacologist and chk any infection or injury in that place.

Go some outings with ur hubby on weekend and talk well.Then during IC if u feel pain means speak continusly and do IC or hear some songs.Bt if u hv severe pain means pls meet the doctor and explain ur problm


During IC r u feeling wet means pain wil nt be there becos my problm was that .

i wont hv wet inside Vagina henc lots of foreplay consulted by Many of my Indus ladies friends my problm got over nw.Chk ur urine color if its dark yellow means its Urinary Infection.

Pls drink -4litres of water.it helps a lot.The doctor advised me this mainly in my prescription sheet :rotfl:rotfl

 

Re: Self Satisfaction - is it alright ?

Hi krithi

Try with your finger in the g spot that will give you pleasure and same time with your nipples.

regards
vanee

 

Re: I push him away..what do i do?

Hi amuktha

Use some kind gel in your husband's penis or make that wet after erecting.

regards
vanee

 

For the past three days my left side vagina lightly got swellen and little pain.i planned to meet doctor on saturday.ANything wrong to me due to IC

 

my gyneac suggested me lignocaine gel around the private area to ease the pain. hope u find it useful too.

 

Dear Chitra,

I haven't read the whole post but just your last few posts. The only thing I want to sincerely suggest is - it is very important for both husband and wife to be satisfied for good marriage. A child should be born out of that love. But when I read your questions, I feel that you should first try to become comfortable with IC as a means of pleasuring yourself and DH. When you feel that its a pleasurable act, thats when you will feel wet and it will make IC easier (this is considering there are no underlying medical issues, which are causing this). Its good that both of you are ready for a baby now and everyone is asking about it, but if you look at IC as a means of having a baby, then it will always keep a pressure on both of you and the performance may not be enjoyable.

If you have some problems with actual IC, then try some self stimulation, oral and other methods so satisfy and since your DH will be involved in this, you both will shed those barriers. Once you are pleasured, then you can attempt IC because it will be easier and you can focus on pleasuring DH.

Also, I feel you are overly stressed by not spending the initial days with DH (I didn't quite understand that 28 day thing). Always remember, rituals are there to help us in new situations, where it might be too awkward for a new bride to say that she wants to spend time with her husband.. coz there will be expectations from everyone like in-laws, new family members, pooja etc.. So treat these rituals as help provided to you - instead of getting burdended by the thought that you didn't follow them. It will never do any harm if you don't perform - as long as you are clear on what the outcome should be and achieve it either ways.

So first things first - learn to get pleasure from the act. Trust me, not many will accept it openly, but its a very nice part of married life ! Shed inhibitions. If you need help, try some self help. If you are open to the concept and has support from DH, you can try watching some videos, which will help you both get in the mood. Remember everything is fair in Love and War.. And dear, what we are talking about is all about Love ... so everything is fair !!

Ofcourse, for any medical conditions - don't hesitate to seek help.

All the best.

 

Dear Amukta,
Please read my earlier reply to Chitra. Part of it will be applicable to you too.. If IC is painful, it could be because you are not ready or he is not ready enough. Also initially many (not all) experience pain. You can try some other means of enjoying to explore each other, that will help you get used to each other. And then it will happen naturally.

Try some methods to help yourself get accustomed to the idea of IC - like him fingering you, some ways of oral sex etc.. That will make the passage easy and some pain may reduce. You may try some strenuous exercise too - ofcourse if you are an athlete.. that can break the hymen. Also exercising will get you all sweaty and into the mood too :biglaugh

Do understand 1 year is a long period for trying. It can build frustration in both. So don't hesitate to seek medical assistance, because in some cases, they need to break the hymen with a small surgical procedure. Hence it might be worth the effort to visit a competent doc.

Relaxation is extremely important. Try creating mood by lighting candles, soft music, romantic movie with some bold scenes (ofcourse English movies), flowers, shower together, dine out, dress well, buy some sexy lingerie.. all these will help create the mood. One serious suggestion, try wearing the sexy lingerie for whole day - and don't try to push it out of your mind.. it will keep you on the edge and you can't wait for the evening to approach. Getting into such naughty mood will help you forget the pain and focus on pleasure.

I'm sure I am going overboard with suggestions, but I think us Indian women still consider this as taboo and so taking the risk of sharing some open secrets with you all.. Have a great time.

 

Did anyone face this silly issue

Hi All,

i am planning to have a baby with my husband and i have a very silly query. My husband cant seem to figure out where is my vagina located. I find it tough to show anything as its tough to show through using mirror. Is it so tough to locate someone's vagina ??? it sounds silly but a real problem for me. Should i go to a doctor ? I am in USA and not sure whether there are doctors whom i can approach for such things.


Thanks