Newly Married - Questions about Intimacy!

Question about intimacy

Hi all,

Just today i came across this section. Even i face many problems everyday, would wonder if anybody can advice about it. None of my close frenz are married, hope someone can help me with this.

Itz an yr since we got married but nothing has happened till now, and i am the main reason behind it. I dont co-operate much. First reason was for the initial 1 yr of our married life we were a joint family, so i was afraid if someone could hear me crying or scream so i didnt cooperate much and move away for a small pain.

Now wehave moved to a new place and still i am the same. I have heard few of my frenz saying abt the pain and read in books. So i am really afraid to face it. I do understand it is part of life, but i am not able to bear in the intial stage itself.

My husband is very sweet, he has not even uttered a word nor shown a bad expression not even a sigh. I dont want to take advantage of it.

Sometimes i try to bite my teeth and bear, but i guess my muscles become more tough and firm when i do so and increases the pain more.

What am i to do? How to get rid of this fear? Are there any gels to soothe the pain? I am not at all aware of those. Someone Plz do help me.

When my In-laws and Parents ask if we have any gud news, i really feel guilty. How cud i say i havn't undergone a sex life at all? My aunt is a doctor whenever i speak with her she used to advice me abt my age and ask me to plan for a kid asap, since it may complicate the further related matters.

Can anybody help with this.

 

Re: Question about intimacy

Hi
please consult a gynaecologist who will help you. I have heard of a condition wherein the tissue is so thick that a surgical incision is necessary.
This is a minor thing and nothing to worry......but only a gynaecologist can help you.

Regards

 

Re: Question about intimacy

Hi,

Thanks for ur reply, but i suppose u hav misunderstood what i mentioned. There's nothing wrong physically, the problem is mentally i am not ready to face the pain. Anywways thanks for ur suggestion.

 

Re: Question about intimacy

hi cinduja,
please consult a gynaecologist.

there is nothing to worry, because most of the women will have gone thru wat u r going thru right now.but 1 year seems to be a long time.

relax as much as u can during the IC, and the doctor might help you by prescribing some gels or lubricants to avoid pain.

all the best!!

regards,
sreelata.s

 

Re: Question about intimacy

cindu.. No worries..

check this out:

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/f...1-newly-married-questions-about-intimacy.html

 

Re: Question about intimacy

Hi CIndhuja'
Your prob.is mentally and not physically.You feel pain bcoz your whole concentration is towards pains and not enjoy.Everyone feels pain at the begining but if can feel its a sweet pain.Even i was very scared about all this before marriage but their is nothing like that.Ok leave whatever that has has happened till today start a new begining from today.I am with you and i am always here to guide you.Today assume that its the first night after ur marriage and let your husband do everything u just enjoy,even the pain if u feel.This is still a minor prob. diont make it a major one.
All the best
Be in touch.

 

Re: Question about intimacy

hi
even i had pain during first few days of intercourse. bt nw nothing like tat.
u dont concentrate on the pain u enjoy with ur dh.
this is frm my personal exp. if u always think of the pain u vl feel more. during the starting days of my marriage i too do a lot wont allow him. bt slowly with his help and tips from our ILites all pain went.

so as everyone told relax and enjoy.......

 

Re: Question about intimacy

You should have a chat with your husband about this problem and address it soon. Start with being together in what you enjoy, such as baths...walks etc. When the mental closeness increases, things will slowly fall in place. One year is too long......... for a guy to wait

 

Re: Question about intimacy

Dear Cindhuja,

There are lubricants that you can use to ease your pain...you can try Astroglide or KY gel. You'll find them in the publix/Kroger/walmart kind of stores in the pharmacy/feminine hygiene section. It will definitely help...

Also, have a romantic date night at home one weekend, with candles, dinner and the works...try to get in the mood first...

Hope this helps...

take care,
Aarushi

 

hey! thanks a lot for loads if informative pieces especially for newly wed girls. I am your problem is solved and u enjoy ur marraige in every way you can.
Thanks nandshyam for descriptive info. I want to ask one Qs. There r many lubricates for dryness. what abt if a woman is very wet. My younger sis (newly wed) has been asking qs on this to me but i myself dint know abt it. Her husband doesnt seem to get the friction due to this and hence they r having dissatisfied sex life! thus they dont get intimate too often too! Man!! this is worrying my sis like hell!

can someone suggest on this??

thanks