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Newly Married - Questions about Intimacy!

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by lalithakumar, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: question about sex

    Hi Rose, there is a sticky thread in the Fertility etc. forum for intimacy issues. I think your thread will ultimately get merged with that one.

    I am no expert but from the little you have written, I think the problem is that you are not sufficiently aroused when you try intercourse. Lack of lubrication can make penetration quite painful. The solution would be to make foreplay last longer and try penetration only when you are properly aroused. As a test you could try using a lubricant and see if that changes anything.
     
  2. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: question about sex

    High time these discussions are kept in separate threads in Married Life forums...Its highly confusing for these to be moved to some obscure thread where all these topics are concatenated in another forum. People have asked for it to remain in Married life forums or a subforum.

    Until that happens, people like rose8282 will keep searching for eternity.

    For all you know, your own thread will be concatenated with that obscure thread! For some reason, ppl are very squeamish in allowing these threads their own right place.

    Your gynec is the best person to help you with this. If she is only giving you superficial answers, its time you find a better doc. A good doc should be able to help you out.

    Dont feel ashamed. This ashamed maybe the reason why threads are even getting moved out of Relationship forum where they belong. In anycase, it may be beyond the scope of this forum to detail out the answer to your question - but you can definitely google and find authentic books or guides (written by proper professionals, not some 2cent crooksters).
     
  3. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Re: question about sex

    Rose, try it twice a week like your doc suggested. If your problem doesn't ease up after a while, ask the doc again. If she brushes you off, consult a new doc like Spiderman said.

    Also, try googling the doggy style position to get some ideas how it's done. With new positions, there's always a little trial and error and sometimes funny mishaps, so don't be afraid at trying something new even if it takes you a few times to 'get it right'. :thumbsup
     
  4. rose8282

    rose8282 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: question about sex

    thank you guys for the quick and well articulated responses,will try looking at the fertility thread too.I just wanted to mention all these forums have matured individuals so you dont feel odd asking such questions.Im happy to be a part of this forum!I agree there should be a separate place for sex issues.I just thought sex is a part of love-making,which makes it a part of married life!When it comes under fertility,the focus is shifted where you tend to think in terms of trying to conceive.SO i believe it should have a separate place!!!
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2010
  5. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Re: question about sex

    Yes, I agree we should have a seperate section for sex. That way those who feel their modesty is threatened by reading sex issues will not stumble accross such threads accidently, and those who wish to offer more in depth replies will not get moderated for doing so. And of course, so those wishing to read on the topic won't have to search high and low.
     
  6. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: question about sex

    ASG on the money again! :) Remember that Aaliyah song - "And if at first you don't succeed, Then dust yourself off and try again"


    rose8282 (are the variants of rose, rosegirl the most popular userid in IL? - one for the tangent thread), but anyway rose8282, you seem to be in US - you will have access to very good docs here, so dont hesitate to fire your doc if she is superficial and move onto someone who can spend time for you.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2010
    1 person likes this.
  7. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: question about sex

    You are welcome.

    Exactly. Fertility section is about TTC etc.
    You are a newcomer to IL, but you hit the nail on the head on the diff between fertility section and the general intimacy related questions. We do need a subsection for that.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2010
  8. rose8282

    rose8282 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: question about sex

    ok i just visited the other thread, and am happy to note that Im not the only one out here!The difference is there,many are newly married..and Im not!haha!!Plus they've mentioned the same solutions.Although i knew it,was thinking if there is something more than just not lubricating.Now Im just waiting for this thread to be merged...looks bit awkward with the ONLY sexual question around here.

    edit:yes,im in the US.Im not sure about rose being popular..but yes,its a very pretty name for an id..so i always use it for any forum i use...and add my year of birth.someone already had 82,so added two 82's!!haha!
    About the doctor,do you think i should consult someone else?I mean,i think other doctors would say the same...maybe a sex specialist would matter.Anyways...thankyou spiderman and others:))
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2010
  9. grihasta

    grihasta New IL'ite

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    Re: question about sex

    I think you need to relax and stop thinking about the pain when you are in bed. You may be aroused but at the time of the actual act, if you get tensed anticipating pain, then your muscles get tensed and is resistive to the penetration, causing you pain. after sometime, I guess you relax a bit more as the actions causes to be more involved in the act.

    Don't think about pain during sex, and let your mind be free. That should take away your pain :)
     
  10. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: question about sex

    By the way newly weds or married for 5+ or 10+ yrs, problem is a problem, so do not look at the solutions as if they were given only for newly weds. Try to check whether the solution given in the thread works for you or not.

    Thanks
    Sri
     

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