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Newly Married - Questions about Intimacy!

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by lalithakumar, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. omnam

    omnam Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi RashmiR,
    Congratulations on your wedding.
    I think this is biggest problem with Indian girls. We are brought-up in such very protected environment, where we dont get information/feel shy (shame) to hv info on these things. Thats why we take time to have that feelings.You can check many queries and answers in this thread itself on lack of intimacy or brotherly feelings with DH etc.. These are all intial problems especially in arranged marriages. Dont worry. It will be fine in few months.

    Spend good time with your dh.
    Do watch romantic movies. (at home plz)
    Dont care about any problem even this satisfaction problem.
    Your feelings will develop when you see your dh love and care.

    All the best. Take care
     
  2. preethisundaram

    preethisundaram New IL'ite

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    Mastrubation

    Hi Frnds,

    Not Sure Whether I can ask this type of Questions. dont know whom to ask.

    If its wrong Plz Forgive Me.

    I read a article in newspaper that mastrubation is good for health and no harm in mastrubating be it girl or boy.

    Is it common to get sexual feel before marriage at the age of 24 for a girl??

    Does mastrubating affect the sexual life after marriage?

    If my doubt is wrong Kindly request you all to forgive me.
     
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  3. ushae

    ushae Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Mastrubation

    At the age of 24 definitely a girl will have feel? Not only at 24, even at 18 or 16. If she doen not have only, then it is a problem.

    Regarding mastrubation, I think it is not wrong unless it does not exceed the "limits"
     
  4. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Mastrubation

    Preethi,
    The newspaper article you read is correct. Its perfectly fine for both genders, and if you search on the web you can read about it in many well reputed websites.
     
  5. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Mastrubation

    I have also read that before and after marriage it is FINE, as long as it does not satisfy your desire so much that you no longer desire your spouse. Get what I'm saying? Like if you do that, but don't feel like sex for two weeks after that... it's not really fair to your spouse. Also, after marriage I think you will see... that nothing compares to the feeling you get when you are sharing intimacy WITH your spouse. A sex act alone and a sex act with your spouse will both yield the same rush of 'feel good feelings'.... but with your spouse you also get the incredible sense of love, commitment, happiness, and closeness... something you can never replicate alone. Just my two cents.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2010
  6. LemonLime

    LemonLime Senior IL'ite

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    Re: Mastrubation

    Hi there!

    Masturbation can be a squeamish topic, but think about it.
    Not everyone can be like saints...we all have sexual feelings even before marriage.

    For some of us who have found love and are active in sex, I wish them happiness and I hope they will be together in love and marriage (asap!) for a lifetime!
    For some of us who are single and living in a mindset or strict families/society which is against premarital sex, masturbation is a perfectly normal way for 'release' and discovering yourself sexually...and as other have said above - as long as you do not become addicted to it or develop an unhealthy obsession with it.
    And for us married people - its perfectly fine so long as asuitable girl said - nothing beats the intimacy of two people together sharing and discovering one another. Its perfectly fine as long as it doesn't impede in your sex life.

    :)
     
  7. varshini

    varshini New IL'ite

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    Intercourse Frequency Advice

    Dear Friends,

    I didn't think it was a big deal, but it is getting to create friction between us and hence I thought of asking for some advice.

    Here is roughly how my month goes as it relates to my sexual appetite.

    Days 1-7 - Periods, hence no sex. First 2 days spotting, 3 days of full flow and 2 more days to get fully done.
    Days 7-14 - Good sexual appetite. Have intercourse every other day.
    Days 15-30 - No sexual appetite at all. Breasts are sensitive; no mood/interest in sex etc.

    Now, my husband complains (maybe a strong word) that he only gets satisfaction 5 or so times the whole month.

    Ideally he would like us to have intercourse every other day throughout the month except the 3-5 days when I have my periods. Since that is not happening, he would like us to have sex daily during those 7 days of good sex appetite and freedom to masturbate (didn't know a softer word!) without guilt for the rest 3 weeks.

    Now, my question is do you guys manage sex alternate days throughout the month except those period days? What is a reasonable expectation for intercourse frequency? What do you do when you don't have mood/interest for extended periods of time like I do. Is my DH's alternate expectation reasonable? Look forward to your advice.

    Varshini
     
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  8. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Intercourse Frequency Advice

    varshini
    i guess everyones life is different
    and i dont think many of them would not like to share certian things which are too personal , atleast me
     
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  9. Sunny3

    Sunny3 New IL'ite

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    Re: Intercourse Frequency Advice

    Varshini, There is no ideal scenario in this. Whatever is comfortable for both is what matters. Even though real intercourse may not happen everyday but we cuddle and fondle each other while in bed. That also gives the satisfaction as intercourse. It gives a feeling of warmth and emotional happiness. We talk about the day and what happened throughout the day in each others lives while in bed and sometimes do this just sleeping next to each other. Some nights we both get into shower together......am I sharing too much???:oops:......NAY!!! Its OK to share with a friend!!:-D
    All this brings a strong emotional attachment too.

    So, there is no hard and fast rule as to how many times is right. It all depends on individual couples. Talk to your hubby and keep an open mind. Maybe, a nice warm shower/bath before bedtime can make you feel more relaxed and ready.


    :wink:
    Sunitha
     
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  10. vijaysys

    vijaysys New IL'ite

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    Hi Asha
    how are you doing.
    Did you follow any specific medicines/treatment for your conceive.

    So that, I can also get some inputs from you,

    Thanks & best regards
    vijayaRani....
     
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