Newly Married - Questions about Intimacy!

Hi aishuanand,

That will always happen for all ladies. Let me explain it to you dear. Not to worry.

Actually we will have a feel whether it is going inside or not? !! Fact is - men produces millions of sperms and we cannot see it also since it is very very small. For sure sperms will go inside as soon as you do it. Seems like at the end a watery fluid will come out and thats natural.

So you need not worry. But my advice is keep a pillow below your buttocks and lie in bed for 30min and do not urinate for 30min after intercourse.

 

hai ani
thanks for clearing me from a big doubt i got lot of info about bbt too anyway i ll keep posting my progress let see whats happening

 

Dear vka.
Is your pain gone now...??

or else use xylocaine gel for 2,3 times trying. Then the unbearable pain will reduce.

The tries after that will still not be bearable but you can acheive it with a lubricant like KY Jelly or preseed.

If trying to conceive use preseed , dont use KY since it is a spermicide.

Pre seed you will get online. check it out.

Reg not interested and wanting to try, is normal.

Buy an ovulation kit and get to know the best 2 days to conceive in a month and try those two days alone with the above methods.

You will succeed..

good luck!!:thumbsup

 

Have enough foreplay. Use of KY gelly will help.

Use of unclean oils might lead to infection

Take care. God bless

 

hi sarkari
congrats on ur marriage. i must appriciate ur coming out on this forum to talk abt ur problem. whatever u r talking is not only urs but of most of newly married couple's problem. but very few ppl come forward to discuss. as such already right advice have been imparted so instead of repeating same i will just give one word of caution. usually boys hv some various kind of ideas abt sex life in marriage n want to experiment with all that. my advies is tht between 2 person any thing n every thing is fine till both of u r confortable. any act u r not comfortable with should be denies politely n firmly. moreover i will advie u both to read this book titled" F*** is not a four letter word" written by emminent dr krishnamchari . he has dispelled many a myths which at times has the power to destabilise a happy married life.

 

Hi Lalitha,

As most of our ILites have already given a very good suggestions regarding ur problem,i would like to add few points.

As u have mentioned that u and ur DH would meet only once a week,so
if u would wish to conceive,the thing u shd know is if ur periods are regular then just calculate from the 5th day of ur period starting as day one(hope u got my point) and the right time would be on 12th,13th,14th and 15th day.(start 5th day of ur peroid as 1 and 2......so on ok)
This was suggested by a doctor to my cousin and it really worked out.
So those days are the days when ur ovulation starts.
So ask ur DH to plan on these days and u would surely conceive :thumbsup.

Have a great and Happy married life dear :cheers.

 

Hi Ilities,

I am a newly wed ( 6 months of married life so far). But my problem is my private part is so stiff and to add to this my husband's organs are very sensitive.

To help him out , I shave the hairs in my private part regularly.

But the penetration is not proper. We do good foreplay for arousal.

I try to caress him enough so that he gets aroused and doesnt get flacid too soon.

When we are ready for making love , just that moment, my husband loses erectness and we start from square one..

During the first few weeks , I used to get discouraged because of this and cry that some thing is wrong with me...

My hubby used to comfort me by saying there are other things in life .. we can still be happy..

Also he says his organs are extremely sensitive and that is why he withdraws.. Also, he says there are some ways that he can follow to reduce the sensitiveness...

Now , I feel the responsiblity to help my husband because he is so caring and understanding..

I read in one of the posts in this forum by Adhusmom (Vanitha) that we should make love more often in the initial stages of married life..

Since we both are S/W and have to travel long distance by bus, both get tired too soon..

So our frequency of Making love is reduced to twice a week or sometimes once a week..

I think this adds to my stiffness issue..

Also .. I have never bleeded during IC so far..

Does this mean we have not made love properly..

Both of us get Orgasms.

My parents expect me to get Pregnant.. cos they want to take care of kids when they are hale and healthy..and not when they are too old to help..

Husband is not in any hurry about kids.. he feels understanding is more important..

Sometimes .. he also thinks both of us are too ignorant for that..

Consulted a Gynec.. She has given a Gel for hubby and folic acid pills for me..

I sometimes argue with hubby before going to bed and I think that mental stress gets carried over to the love life..

Plz sisters help me out..

Regards,
Benice

 

Thanks vasumathy for your tips..:cheers
As for Hymen getting torn .. I am not sure.. I mean I am ignorant about how to make sure if its torn or not..Does it bleed if its torn..

Also my Gynec tried to check that by inserting her finger through my passage.. It pained and I just withdrew..

She scolded me for that..

Then.. as per advice by some close relative, I started being relaxed whenver we made love.

Tips in this forum are helpful and I am able clarify my questions without any embarrasment..

I have read the IL guidelines.. and understood them.. Cheers to IL for respecting the dignity and privacy of all the members..

Regards,
Benice

 

Hi Benice,

Yes it bleeds when hymen is torn. It happened after 2-3 weeks only for me and mine was also very stiff and it used to hurt me a lot initially. I also withdrew when my gyn tried to examine. My problem was that I was overweight . Losing 5-6 kgs along with taking Metformin and folic acid tablets helped me,after that there was sufficient natural lubrication and IC wasn't painful.

If you have a regular period cycle , you would note that around 12-15th day you will have cervical mucus which will enable IC to happen smoothly.

You also need to check if you are overweight . Stress definitely plays a big role in stiffening , and you have to be relaxed and allow IC to happen gradually and not force yourself.