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Discussion in 'Indians in Fairfax' started by sri28, Jun 27, 2015.

  1. sri28

    sri28 New IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,
    It's been 6 months in USA. I got married and left my job and came here. I really feel homesick.I feel like crying for even small things.Feeling so supportless. I tried all possible ways to overcome it like made friends,speak to them,volunteering,online learning. Even then I feel crying that too more in the mornings as soon as I get up.

    Did anyone felt this way?How did you overcome it?Please help me with it..
     
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  2. dimhere

    dimhere Gold IL'ite

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    Dear @sri28,

    How is your married life? Are you able to talk to your DH about all topics by now? Is he a quiet man or a talkative man?

    This stage of life (newly married, new country, no kids) is one of the most golden periods in your life. Don't waste it by being depressed. It all depends on your inner resolve. Start small. Try to get by one day without crying, then one week. Speak to your parents often. Take a long shower, and dress up really well. The weather is sunny now. Go out for long slow walks. Atleast around your apartment. Be in public, where you will NOT be able to cry. Cook grand meals to impress your husband.

    You serve yourself well, and eat heartily. Call your parents and siblings often, chat with them. Go out in the evenings with your DH, tell him all what you did. You were working bfore too, so you can ask him to relate what happend in his office, and be interested in his work.

    There is so much to do, so much to learn. This is your life now, and if you are blessed with a good DH.. you have so much more positives than most ladies here. Absolutely no necessiity of crying. Be brave, and all will be good. A few mnths down the line, when you are used to the place / marriage, you will wonder what made you sad.

    In the meanwhile, if there is anyway you could get a job, even with a low pay, please do it.

    All the best, Cheer up!
     
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  3. sri28

    sri28 New IL'ite

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    Thanks so much.That's really comforting. Yeah he is supportive in helping me overcome this.But often I feel lonely and think I am wasting my time cooking and passing time other than working. But unfortunately I couldn't work with my visa. I have some kinda fear but what I couldn't understand why .I have always been with my parents and so attached that I always need someone at home which I know is not possible. Trying hard to accept it but that makes me cry.
     
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  4. BDivya

    BDivya Platinum IL'ite

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    hi @sri28,

    first of all congrats on ur wedding :) try to enjoy ur life especially away from in laws and spend time only for urself n ur hubby.. enjoy this golden period.. dont think that u r wasting ur time.. enjoy watever u r doing..

    all the best for ur future !!!!
     
  5. BDivya

    BDivya Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi friends,

    @yellowmango, @workingwoman, @live4today, @mcutiepie, @guesshoo, @priyanka12345, @iamsrihere, @coolgal123....

    please ladies i have invited u all to help her with positive replies..
    hugsmiley
    thank u in advance :)
     
  6. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Sri,

    Firstly congrats! This is the time when you should be concentrating on your husband and new life. It will be lonely, yes, but trust me after sometime you will get used to this. It wouldn't be a surprise if one day you will prefer your home in the US to your maternal home in India.Marriage is a magic which does this to us.

    And please don't cry. Many women undergo this, you are not alone.

    Working alone is not living life usefully. If you have some passions in life, make use of the time to work on it. Enjoy doing things that you like. Remember this too shall pass. Give yourself some time to get used to the new surroundings.

    Good luck!
     
  7. Gauthu

    Gauthu Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi sri28,

    I went through the whole phase which you described here.I started being sensitive to little things and situation was always out of control.Only then i realised, was missing my family and lifestyle in india.I hated my laptop very badly because all my day was wasted in browsing and felt depressing especially if in winter(In US) was terrible days. Apart from this, going through same boring stuff like cooking , utensils etc was making me even terrible.

    Here are somethings i did myself to keep occupied and felt better.

    Always start your day with something you like. I like to talk to my family in skype.You feel motivated too. Call them talk and share things like daily routine, get to know what your mom cooked, sis/bro doings etc... you know all those small talks makes big difference in a day.
    Doing physical exercise everyday helps you even better. This def helped me.
    As you said you tried all those (volunteering ,online learning , talking to friends), do some hobby projects like which you may be interested.
    Try investing time on things you like for rest of the day.

    All the best :)
     
  8. Avika

    Avika New IL'ite

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    Hi Sri,
    How are you doing? I hope you are feeling better now.
     

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