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New property in joint name of mil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mimita, Apr 10, 2013.

  1. mimita

    mimita Senior IL'ite

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    My husband is the only child in his house.We have a house in which I contributed 50% and my husband put in the other 50%. I am a working woman and this was purchased jointly with our earnings.
    Now My husband is buying some property in joint name of his mother and himself. While I have not put in any money for this, the money is entirely my husbands. Ideally should it not be bought only in his name alone(since mil is not monetarily contributing to this).
    It bothers me because, post marriage, I wouldn't even think of buying property with my parents excluding my husband. It would be a question of loyalty. He however doesn't seem to have any such qualms.
    Perhaps it is mother way of exercising control in a way saying she has rights over her son's money?
    Since it is his money, I won't dissuade him and won't even mention that this is perhaps not entirely justified. Tomorrow if they build a house on this land, I will absolutely not contribute money to it ( in the absence of having any right over it).
    What would you guys do in this position?
     
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  2. Cuteprincess

    Cuteprincess Silver IL'ite

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    Since your husband is the only son, eventhough the property is joint you need not worry abt it
     
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  3. JustAnotherMom

    JustAnotherMom Platinum IL'ite

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    He is the only child, you have nothing to worry.

    On the other hand if she doesn't have any property of her own this will bring her a state of security. Why spoil that when you have nothing to lose.
     
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  4. mathiravi

    mathiravi Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Do not worry as he does not have any siblings!!

    !
     
  5. sharadasharada

    sharadasharada New IL'ite

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    I'm also married to the only child in the family. As soon as I got married, on the marriage day itself my mom-in-law took all the dowry and invested in an apartment and registered with her name. She takes the rent and we have no idea what she does with that. This was happened in 2004, and till date she didn't show/tell about the apartment to me or my husband. When I went to India in 2008, she told other relatives that she will write all her property to her brother in law's sons because they are taking good care of her than her own son. This was 100% BIG LIE!!

    She doesn't have any property till my husband started giving her lots of money since he came to the USA. She bought so much gold, saris, and properties on her name. My PILs have different accounts so we have to send them the money separately, and my husband has no clue what my FIL does with all the money. Believe me the money we have to send them money for expenses, operations, gifts for the relatives, and for property buying on her name.
     
  6. pari80

    pari80 Silver IL'ite

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    OP,

    I am not sure how's your relations with In-laws but i assume with only Child , they would be treating you good because they have only 1 son and 1 DIL and i don't see reason for them to spoil relationship.

    Having said that, seems like you are too much paranoid or jealous that your MIL's name is there on property and not yours. My advice to you, try to make his family as yours too. Specifically in your case, chances are over the time everything which belongs to your In-laws would be yours and your DH.

    But more than financial benifit, why create issues for reasons which are in reality "no issues". If you feel bad, you can ask your DH to make home on name of yours and your MIL. I assume he would be ok. Did you propose this idea to him?

    But anything don't spoil your mind because of this "non-issue" and be happy !!!

     
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  7. pkamaths

    pkamaths Silver IL'ite

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    i completely agree with pari80....sometimes we ourselves are responsible for being unhappy.... even i stay with my inlaws and the current house is in the name of my husband and my mil.... although she does not contribute monetarily... in the early years of marraige i used to feel insecure but gradually i have let it go....these issues are quite sensitive to all - including your dh, mil and you.... so for the benefit of keeping a happy environment at home... it is best not think about such insecurities....

    also on a lighter note there will not be any difference between us dils and insecure mils :) if we start behaving so insecure....
     
  8. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    You have property 1 with 50-50 share between you and H, your security is done.
    Maybe your MIL wanted something for her security... or your H had some extra cashflow and he decided to buy additional property 2... this time 50-50 with his mom. Agreed she's not contributing monetarily at this stage... but maybe its a way to show gratitude by a son for his mom... who did a few things in initial years for him...

    Be happy that he considered you as the partner in first property and now he's just playing right with his mom. Also she din't cut you short on your rights in the first place.......... As long as he's the co-owner the property can't be disposed alone by his mom....
     
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  9. sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    Is this what marriages have come down to? coming together of two professions to live together under same roof, contribute jointly towards common expenses, buy assets together and lastly procreate? Since when did husband and wife have seperate incomes and assets? Why is this guy and his mother buying home/ property together? Obviously spouses dont even discuss important decisions together. Why call it marriage??

    In normal marriages husband and wife joined together in love share everything regardless of who contributes what (or nothing) financially. But you guys obviously have different equation as you clearly stated:

    Since it is his money, I won't dissuade him and won't even mention that this is perhaps not entirely justified. Tomorrow if they build a house on this land, I will absolutely not contribute money to it ( in the absence of having any right over it).

     
  10. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    irrelevant to point out India.
     

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