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New Born Babies

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Oct 18, 2007.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    New Born Babies


    According to News papers reports, that,in USA, mothers generally tell friends who come to see the baby,that the features of the baby have gone on Daddy.This is to allay the husbands fears that the baby is not his,and also so that he takes more care of her and the baby.

    The civilised Westerners are unsure about being the father of the baby?Many male celebreties like Boris Becker,and Steve Bing have disputed their being fathers of a baby,when the DNA reports suggested otherwise.I have visited many mothers(of course with my wife i tow) and I am asked to comment whom the baby looks like,the mother or the father.Of course I have no doubts that my friend is the father,but to keep both the sides happy I look very carefully at the baby,and prounounce very solemnly, that the eyes have gone on the mother,and the nose on the father.Both sides are happy.Though in a small baby i just cant make out, whether it is their own,or exchanged with someone by mistake.They all look the same to me.I can make out the features only after the child is 2 or 3 years old.

    Jaipur mosquitos seem to love new borns.When we came to settle in jaipur,we were manhandled by the mosquitos on all parts of the body(some parts unmentionable).We used to put Odomos all over us,but they then used to buzz around my ears,with the drone of a plane,making sleep impossibe.After about a year,my blood was so poisoned,that they stopped visiting me and wife.

    When my first daughter was born,a word went out among the mosqitos that Fresh Blood has come,come lets have a feast.But we were not hospitable to them,and put net around,though could not put Odomos fearing the daughter would lick it.But somehow their chief found his way in,and sure enough they drew First Blood.After a year the attacks ceased.

    Well I found a novel way to keep these guys off me.I started to drink whiskey every night(two small ones) and sure enough they used to attack me,but in the morning i would find drunk mosquitos by the kilo on all parts of my body,lying peacefully all over me.

    When i passed this wonderful news to my friends and acquaintainces, they started to follow my advice.Hence the sale of Odomos decreased , and the sale of whiskey went through the roof in Jaipur.I should get a medal from the Whiskey companies(instead i think cartoons of whiskey would be fine compensation.I would be still cheaper than what they pay the actors to promote their brands.

    KAMAL MAHTANI
     
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  2. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Kamalji, all these days I thought you were sharing your drinks with friends and getting your friends beaten up by their wives for drinking (just kidding)!

    And now you have started inviting the mosquitos also to share in your love for Whiskey. You are in for trouble - these mosquitos will start hanging around you all the time once they become addicted.
     
  3. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Nivedi,
    Please spare Kamalji sir. (just kidding)


    ~Punitha
     
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Nivedi,

    HAHA. better drunk mosqitoes sleeping next to me, that biting me.REgards.kamal


    Puni

    Thanks for taking my side.Regards.kamal
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi kamalji,

    I was wondering..arree kya ho gaya..you were coming strongly about dna...father...then suddenly went to mosquitoes...to lighten up???...

    So that is how you keep mosquitoes at bay..dont worry we will reroute the ones in chennai to your place...when you come...(because we are teetotalers)

    and it is really difficult to answer the question. of kispe gaya/gayi when the baby is just few days old..:roll:..
     
  6. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello Kamalji,
    I think it will be a better idea for avoiding mosquitoes (new business idea also :thumbsup).

    ~Punitha
     
  7. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello,
    Just to add some more spice to the discussion...
    I remember about 'ANNA NICOLE' case where 5 guys came forward for parternity test :bang:bang

    ~Punitha
     
  8. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Shanti,

    Send over all the chennai mosqiotoes to me, and i will make them all drunks, and when they bite u, u all will have a good sleep as they will deposit the liqour in yr blood stream.

    what a brilliant idea.Where is the Nobel Prize ?:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotflRegards.kamal
     
  9. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    yeh puni,

    you remember the controversy of neena gupta and vivrichards.....heard the girl resembles viv....some more fuel....:tongue
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Anna Nicole,Yes puni she had so many guys.claiming they were the fathers, bcs they stood to gain her wealth.

    People are so cheap in this world really.I have written so many blogs on Anna Nicole, i will post some day at Indus.:waveAnd yr business ideas are damn good.Lets get into a partnership, what say :rotflReards.kamal
     

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