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new big problem

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sonika1976, Apr 22, 2010.

  1. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    If her husband had hurt her, why will he say he wants to call her parents and tell about accident or hurt? to which she objected? it will put him in bad spot light, i dont think its physical abuse the way it is looking, she slipped and got hurt, but why is she wanting to hide from parents, ? may be she is not wanting them to worry, its simple. If it was domestic violence she would have written, what is there to hide when she is asking opinions.

    I think OP's post does clarify that she slipped and got hurt , but does not want to tell parents as she is worried they will get sick , and her DH is using that to his advantage by threatening that he will call them and inform about accident and her attitude so that they fall sick.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2010
  2. sonika1976

    sonika1976 Junior IL'ite

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    Sorry couldnt follow up on this thread as soon as i wanted to. Was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure so was a little unwell.

    Friends, I did trip and fall. Sequence of events being, my kid dropping water on the floor and making me chase after him. Thats how it happened and genuinely this time it wasnt what always happens. If that would have happened, I would have made a hospital report against him because at the hospital, I was asked numerous times "are u in a relationship where u are not being treated right". I would have answered truthfuly if that were the case.

    Coming back to inlaws, I have now made peace with the thought that I m nobody to them and we just put up with each other just because we are unwillingly related because of my husband and their son. The only thing that hurts me is the plotting behind my back. I told my husband my plans to go(I didnt get the tickets yet) but he used that plan and made them stay all of june just so he can play politics with me again. It is very hurtful that they have done this to stop me from going. Thats the anger I have. They were scheduled to go earlier. So why am i such a big enemy that I have to kill my feelings everytime so they can have their way.

    The options i have is to fly before they come back here in June or leave in July after they have left. Biggest fear i have is, they will offer to babysit my son while i visit india and I have 200% guarantee that when i come back, this house will either be shut for me or not mine anymore. They will be here for good then playing parents to my son. Thats why laying low now.

    What should i do and how do i tackle this? I feel like booking the tickets without letting husband know because I am fed up of these mind games everyday.
     
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Soni

    As I said earlier, If tickets are not booked yet, then take it slow, lay low now. This is not the time for you to get emotional/frustrated. Remember you too know very well that if you go to India without his approval, you wouldnt be able to get back into HIS house again in USA. So if you are ready to take it to that level then you can decide as per what suits you. But if you are not looking at make/break kind of decision on your marriage based on this INDIA TRIP, then laylow.

    Dont book tickets. Let your inlaws leave India. Then take vacation from school for the kid (I hope your kid is not in highschool where you would be worried about missing classes) book tickets and with your husbands approval go to India.

    You have been dragging this marriage all this long. So if just this India visit can create that rift/break and if you want to take a chance on this one and see whether your marriage still sticks around or not..I dont think you should try at this time NO. You had several reasons and situations where you could have simply walked out, but NO you didnt do that rather you stuck around all thsi while, now when your inlaws are here in US and if you leave all of them behind and go to India , not just your case any such DIL would be called arrogant and headstrong. Doesnt matter what were their background plans/discussions, all that matters is when inlaws are visiting you were supposed to stay PUT. thats your house, so if some guests visit you would you just tellthem come over and then leave your house???NO. So stay back at your home. Let them leave and then book the tickets and insist on India trip. Till that time cool off and lay low.
     

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