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Never trust a man when it comes to women

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Bhiku, Feb 12, 2009.

  1. Bhiku

    Bhiku Senior IL'ite

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    Jay “Dadaji I know my parents would freak out about this but I want to show you the gift I am giving Prerna this Valentine, I know it is a bit unconventional but this is something she needs – I am hoping she appreciates my honesty and spirit in which the gift is given”

    “Beta this is the worst gift”

    “What? Dadaji you are getting too old, in your days things were different but now things have changed”

    “Look son you are 15 and I am 65, I have years of experience, my hair has not turned white by standing in the sun, each lines and wrinkle on my face reflects an experience, some good some not so pleasant but they all have been eye openers”

    “What about the scar behind your head? Hehe don’t tell me Dadi hit you”

    “Ahh…that….that scar is special to me – the scar of ignorance, love, manipulation, jealousy and revenge. This was when we were newly married, your Dadi hailed from a well to do family while I was from a modest background, she had a hard time adjusting to our lifestyle and her cooking – it used to be terrible, burnt food, roti’s that were of all shapes except round. In the beginning I tolerated it but it was getting too much for me.

    One evening it was raining and I gave a lift to my secretary Sundari, just like her name she was beautiful with a well toned body, an oval face, long hair and luscious lips and glasses enhancing those lovely eyes, her husband was in the army and was stationed at a base camp, she offered me food and I ate like a pig that day. The dishes she made were out of the world, it was finger licking good, I joked that if she gave me this food I would give her a ride everyday. To my surprise she said ‘I get bored eating alone, it would be my pleasure to have you over, I hate cooking for myself and if you join me I would be inclined to cook more’. I started eating there 4-5 times a week and told your Dadi that I am having dinner with clients. It suited her as she hated cooking and things went fine until Sundari’s husband Arjun came back.He tolerated me for a while but soon got jealous.

    One day he said ‘We enjoy your company but why don’t you bring along your wife sometime’ I had to confess to him about her cooking and that scoundrel said
    ‘I don’t want to meddle in your personal matters but I think honesty is the best policy. For a woman cooking is a territorial issue, whether a good cook or not she wants the satisfaction of cooking for her husband’
    I was confused ‘Maybe, but I can’t just confess now can I?”
    He said ‘Not like that, with women you have to work in criticism with flattery, tell her the truth and then tell her that her roti’s are not round because of the belan, the belan she is using is your mother’s and her roti’s never came out round either. Wives love it when husbands badmouth their mothers, then give her a new belan and encourage her to try again, tell her to take cooking lessons from Sundari if necessary. She will feel jealous and learn to make perfect roti’s in a week. Don’t forget to tell her that you thought of her while eating at Sundari’s’

    I fell for it and I still remember that day, it was February 14<SUP>th</SUP>, I gave her the belan and she attacked me with the same belan – it makes roti’s round but it flattened me that day. I thought my wife was a simple soul but the language she used that day would make a criminal blush, she used the most obscene words to address me. From day on all your Dadi has to do is to show me that belan and I do what she wants, I was thankful that I had bought her a belan only, not sure what my condition would have been had I bought her a pressure cooker, pots and pans or worse a new set of cutting knifes”

    Jay “hehe I bet you were mad at ArjunUncle”

    “I was but I got my revenge though. It took me a while to recover from the beating, I stopped going to Sundari, one day I met Arjun I thanked him for giving me the idea, he was surprised, then I tricked him

    ‘Arjun I want to thank you, you have really changed my marriage and as a friend I want to give you an advice, if you don’t mind me saying your wife is very attractive but all her beauty is masked under those hideous glasses, encourage her to get new glasses or maybe to do away with them, add the jealousy factor, she was jealous when I mentioned Sundari’s cooking, you should mention another women who looks hot in glasses’

    The fool fell for it and got the beating of a lifetime, we have been friends since then”

    Jay gets up
    “Where are you going?”
    “I am going to the mall to buy flowers and perfume and on my way back I am canceling the gym membership for Prerna, after listening to your story I am convinced that she will not appreciate that, she has put on quite a bit of weight but I am not going to be the one to break that news to her as I am too young to have scars”.
     
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  2. dream.girl

    dream.girl Silver IL'ite

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    hahaha Thoroughly enjoyed comedy with belan..

    dg..
     
  3. Bhiku

    Bhiku Senior IL'ite

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    DG : Thanks, for them it was Belan-time not Valentine :)

    quote=dream.girl;562758]hahaha Thoroughly enjoyed comedy with belan..

    dg..[/quote]
     
  4. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Haha..Bhikku bhai...
    Nice explanation...enjoyed the explanation about scars too..Big Laugh
    You got the point..
    Jay is a smart kid...he got the point...very much earlier in his life..

    sriniketan
     
  5. Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

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    Bhiku ji,
    Grand pa is an intelligent man to pass on the words of wisdom. It is very tough to point out the flaws.
    Stick to tried and tested gifts and innovation at times back fires.
    Enjoyed and laughed reading your posts, as usual your sense of humor makes it a lovely post
    May God bless you.
    Jaya
     
  6. jaijui0

    jaijui0 Senior IL'ite

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    bhiku bapu,
    he he I'm still laughing :)
    never trust a man ,period ! but women play their cards only too well..they always have the upper hand ..waving a belan menacingly
    jaijui
     
  7. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    dear BM,

    another good one for vday...as usual with huge doses of humor...yes we do NOT want ANY kitchen related gifts especially from our hubbies:) a MUST KNOW for all the men...

    Mindi
     
  8. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Bhiku,

    Yaar , u and kiran yr brains work overtime.even a simple Belan u have turned into a weapon.

    You are giving yr sweet sisters at Indus, unneccaary ideas of how to use the belan as a weapon.

    HAHA

    You are too much.Hide the beklan from Kiran, or buy her a golden one.Regards

    kamal
     
  9. Vanisha79

    Vanisha79 Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Bhiku,

    Enjoyed reading. Thanx for the beautiful story.

    Luv,
    Vanisha
     
  10. Bhiku

    Bhiku Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Sriniketan : Jay is a smart kid but most men are not that wise, they think they know it all and give gifts like belan and get a thrashing :)

     

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