Neighbors Ignoring Me...how To Deal?

vidunga anika. Idhuvum kadandhu pogum.

 

Hi everyone,
i am new here , so it might be reasonable to assume that a PoV that is being put across, may not be communicated as effectively or in the right context, as meant to,apologies in advance for that . ( saying so, i might add that i have been a silent follower of IL threads on and off and thus , may like to feel as a part of the community)

This is a beautiful statement , which anyone going through any bouts of doubt must internalise.

Also, i think this is what others who also wrote to boost morale of the OP meant when they put in expressions meant to convey envy or visa status etc ( i did mean to let OP overcome unecessary negativity and self doubt about her own behaviour).

I feel when a person is requesting for help , quoting that she needs to understand why certain neighbours/ acquaintances react in a certain way, she generally is seeking to get opinions on the right behaviour to adopt when dealing with a section that may be isolating her or she feels that way. Once the OP can rise from the hurt she felt, she may be able to objectively look at stuff and realise for oneself that one shouldn't attach unnecessary meaning to other people's behaviour, who are not in her control anyways.
Yes, also perhaps feel that some extra sensitive people do tend to feel the rejection too seriously when the other party involved may or may not have meant to do it consciously.
May be thats the case with you too @anika987 .
However, in any situation one needs to rise to a level to get a vantage point to view their own situation objectively, so the first step has to be getting rid on any kind of complexes, and reach a point of self worth/confidence. Even if the vantage then gives you a negative view of our own behaviours, it would be hugely more acceptable than when a person is starting with self doubt.
In view of the above, my earlier small comment and support to a similar comment and it was not about being arrogant at all.
BTW, i also think that the small point of not so great equation with a few neighbors is pretty petty in the big scheme of things for the OP. And should consume time in the same ratio .
And to summarise, the small point here i feel that most ordinary individuals do go through these kind of relationship issues with people around us and , i sincerely hope most may agree that with time relationships also change as people evolve and circumstances change.
I wish you lots of friends and warmth of friendship forever.

This is just so right!!!

 

Anika, I am one of those people who might be nice to you at a party only to ignore you on the street, so allow me to give you a glimpse of the goings-on inside my cranium.

Scene: Tree-lined avenue.
Actors: Anika - walking home after an afternoon of winter fun and frolic in the park, kids in tow.
S – absent-mindedly ambling along toward her from the opposite direction, on the other side of the street, with pursed lips and furrowed brow, pondering.

Dude, did you lock the door? I bet you left it open. Yeah, maybe, but no one will break in. It’s probably shut. Good enough. Hmmm … if the door is unlocked, is it still a ‘break in’? What are you fretting about?There’s nothing to take anyway. Just books and paper everywhere. But those Amazon local guys may go in and poke around. Can’t trust ‘em. Incompetent fools. Misdelivering stuff every chance they get. Weasels. Amazon. Can’t believe that Bezos dumped his wife. Jeez. She married him when he had nothing, going on about the Everything Store. People are jerks.

Oh, wait, there’s a dog! Niiice husky. Malamute maybe? Look how much they loooove the snow. They could grow up in the Sahara and still love snow. How do you even hardcode that? Genetically, I mean? What's DNA-speak for snow? Ammaazzing!

Anika waves from across the street.

Wait. Whaat? Did that woman just wave? To me? That scarf ‘s kinda hiding her face … !

S looks around bemusedly, turns, then looks right past A, gaze settling on the bay window of the brownstone behind her.

Whoah! That’s an African grey parrot in that window! How could people do that to a magnificent creature? Why not let it fly around in Africa doing African bird stuff? People are jerks.

And the moment is gone. S and A have walked past each other, still on opposite sides of the street, with no real acknowledgment.

Wait! That was that Anika person! 789 … something? No! 987. F16 Fibonacci. Not prime. Yeah. 987. Dude, how many Fibonacci primes are there? Does anyone know? Anika987. From that party last week. She was kinda nice. Now she’s going to think I ignored her. Dude. You need to be more mindful. Call and apolo … wait! Who was that other Anika person? The Swedish lady? Etberg? Doofus. Anita Ekberg. That's it -‘t’ then ‘k’. Not the other way around. Fellini, La Dolce Vita. Can’t believe you spaced that out. Must watch all the Fellini films again. Been a long time. Criterion should have them ...

Dude. I bet they broke in and stole flatscreen. And the Roku. ‘Cause you left the door unlocked dumass…

People are jerks.

 

Ha ha

How i wish i could be like you dude!

Or maybe i am in the above context, but the cranial nerves haven't been able to identify and self allocate this trait!

Cool Cat

 

Seems like you are a nice person who cares about people but is very sensitive..so the pull is stronger when being left out from a group...I have faced similar feeling of rejection in the past and know how it feels. No idea why you have been left out..maybe those ladies are more in touch with each other and connected and closer in a different way? Maybe they had some good rapport with each other and didn't think of you? Give it some time...indicate your interest in meeting up again to them for a small get together or outing, and see if they pick up on your hints and invite you next time..
Let us know how it goes...

 

Just a point to ponder @anika987 When one is picky in responding virtually then can’t the same hold true in Real-time relationships or acquaintances... no offense intended or taken.

 

Hi,
With all my experience , I would like to tell you one thing. Relation with neighbors gets strong if you invite them for coffee/lunch/dinner etc. Cook everything by yourself and invite them over to your house. They will be very much pleased with your hospitality and reciprocates the same to you when you meet them next time.... Or else, you can initiate a Potluck and take the lead in arranging everything...

Try this... this may work out for you...