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Need you opinion

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Ranna, Apr 8, 2010.

  1. Ranna

    Ranna New IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,
    I need you opinion on who to stay with first when I go to india in 2 weeks
    Iam landing in HYD.My sister lives there, my whole family will be coming to my sister's place to receive me and my son who is going to india for the first time after he was born.
    My In laws do not live in HYD but my FIL's brothers do.
    when I go to india with my husband, the dafault landing place is FIL's brother's place.
    this trip, my husband is not going with me.
    Both families will be coming to airport to receive their grand son.
    Now the question is who do I go with?
    I want to go to my sister's place bcoz my mom and sisters take care of my son so I can get some rest after long journey all by myself with the toddler.
    At my In laws, I know I will not get help.But I feel bad for my in laws. and not sure how they would take it. I want to keep both sides happy.
    my husband left the decision to me.
    I need your help.Please advice
     
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  2. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    If I were you, FIL's brother's place would be my choice.

    From your post I understand that you are in good terms with your ILs.
    Why risk it this time for a petty reason? Though your husband has left it to your decision, since it has become a norm that you go to your FIL's brother's place every time, if you change it now, it may create unwanted tension in your ILs mind..

    Instead, if you can bear with the little inconvenience of taking care of your toddler with no help for just a day or 2 and then go to your sis place, it will stregnthen the bond with your ILs furthermore. You will also have your peace of mind.

    It is just a small compromise.. JMO

    PS: Just in case you go with this suggestion, Since your DH will be absent, take extra care with your words and ways with them so there will be no misinterpretations of anything unintentional.
     
  3. rosegirl

    rosegirl Bronze IL'ite

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    I would suggest ur FIL's brothers place.

    If u compromise on this, u can extend ur stay at mom's place without any guilt or questions. If u are going to go against their wishes, then u will have to work hard to get days for your mom's house visit.

    So play your cards right. You can hand over your toddler to your inlaws, who would love to watch, play and feed him while u take rest after jet lag. I think they would do this much for someone who has traveled 22 hours.

    After that u can go to ur sister's place or mom place without any guilt.
     
  4. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Ranna,
    I would go to my mom's place.If it was my in laws then different but extended..extended family..well parents come first.

    You can tell your DH that everytime you go according to his wishes.This time you want to be with your family.

    You can always decide the days you want and say beforehand that mon,tue,wed I will be with sis and thu,fri,sat I will come there.

    It is your vacation too.You have the right to do what you want as well.

    JMO.(sorry ladies if I offended anyone).
    FL
     
  5. kinjal

    kinjal Bronze IL'ite

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    i think you can go to your ILs place first.
    Stay there for one day and go to sisters place next morning.

    This will be win win situation so that ILs wont feel bad and next day you can be with your family.
     
  6. Ranna

    Ranna New IL'ite

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    Re: Need your opinion

    Thanks to you all for your valuable suggestions
    I have made up my mind with your help.
     
  7. shrutidunwoody

    shrutidunwoody Bronze IL'ite

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    Since you have good terms with your inlaws i am confused what to suggest you. So what you have decided ranna. Just inquisitive to know.
     
  8. Ranna

    Ranna New IL'ite

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    Re: Need your opinion

    I have decided to go with my In-laws.
    after thinking a lot, and after all of your suggestions, I think
    it is best to go with In-Laws.
    I do have lot of differences with my In-laws. but never confronted directly.It is just for a day or 2.So if I can swallow my pride and a burning desire to take revenge for just 2 days, I can still maintain good relationship with them for the sake of my son.
    He deserves the love of his grand parents.
    FoundLove,
    You have no idea how strongly I agree with you and to do it
    But after thinking with a cool head, I see lot of benefits of not doing it.
    Once again, thank you all
     

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