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Need urgent advice-career related..Really urgent

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by PetiteFashionB, Jul 9, 2010.

  1. PetiteFashionB

    PetiteFashionB Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Girls

    I am back to you guys for your advice..Its really really urgent as i dont have much time and have to take action asap.Being not-in-situation, you can think unbiased and advice me neutrally.

    If you have read my previous posts, i am a depressed housewife,was working on H1b previously..Lost job,Came on H4b,wanted family badly but ..
    We were having lot of problems in our marriage ,one is my husbands incapability for which i wasted my 1 1/2 yrs in hole.Could nt convince him for doctor,finally booked my ticket to india w/o return ticket.
    I was so much depressed that time to think about myself,career...We both decided to take a break.

    Now after booking tickets, suddenly i got a random call for a job one day that awakened me.I immediately started talking to vendors,forwarded my resume,started looking for jobs badly.Talked to one employer/desi vendor ,who is ready for h1b filing if i get a job...

    I got few vendors call,nothing worked but things started atleast.There was some change in my mind and life.All this happened in just 4 weeks..after tickets.

    I was talking to vendors,(no job/no interviews yet)
    .. and everywhere i feel sweaty -face when i have to explain the vendors the gaps /bench periods in my resume...I feel more and more worried about job now.

    We decided not to cancel the tickets and decide runtime and were confidant to get some good news on job/interviews.
    You can say -we never felt like i am going.
    Nothing happend.
    .I still have those marriage problems going on in my life.
    But my main focus is on my career now ,(so no fights ) and i dont want to lose it at any any cost.

    PROBLEM:My flight to india is few hours away,We both are in dilemma if i shd go to india or not.I cant come back before 1 month(stamping etc).

    I now-understand that i have just jumped in job market (with a big gap).I wont get the job just in few days.but now i am ready to struggle for jobs and i know its easy in US .
    My job might be 1-2 months away now,
    But if i go to india, come back after 1 month, and would get active again in 1 month ,my job would be 3-4 months away (definitely).

    I am now so much desparate for job that i dont care on wasting ticket money.

    One more thing-Once i am in india,i maynt like to come back since i have been in bad life for few yrs.Nobody likes to come back in uncertain life .I know i would surely try lecturer jobs there and if i get one, would never like to come back.

    What do you assess of my situation.Should i go back since i have ticket in hand and come back.
    I would get 1 super-big gap of 2 yrs in my resume and i really have bad career graph bcos of my marriage .
    In US, as we know, many have to fake resumes , and i am one of them.So i have to study for jobs and resume.] and i am doing that.

    Before that i tried for GRE/etc but i was in chronic depression until few weeks back.

    Now job-calls is keeping me on toes.
    Plus I know on my way to india, i would always keep that grudge in my mind ..ruined career ,and marriage and new job tension.

    Right now, i dont have anything...just motivation.All this started 2 weeks back, and this week everybody (vendors) is on vacation for july 4-long wkend, so whatever calls i was taking ,are on hold.No updates,

    Please please///Help me ladies.
    My husband thinks both options are good for me and i can go back, and come in a month.
    He was ready to cancel tickets before but no hope for job-hunt made him think i should go.


    Sorry for the Immensly long post..............
     
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  2. Umlaut

    Umlaut Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Petit,
    I see that I am the first one posting a reply, although I don't know the details of your case. But from your post I assume that you are going back to India because all is not smooth sailing between you and your H. However you are now in a dilemma as to whether or not to go back to India because you are getting calls from potential employers.
    I would suggest that you cancel your tickets and do your job interviews. And at the same time continue applying to potential employers with full force. I guess gaps in the resume can be explained by saying that you took a break for personal reasons. I am sure no employer will poke and pry if you give that reason. At least no one did for me! You can visit India after you have found a job.

    Good luck and God bless.
     
  3. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Go ahead and take the flight,
    the people who join better jobs will leave some job and hence the availability will still be there in a month's time.

    The change that you'll have now will bring cheer to attend interviews and in general life..
    Keep taking calls and communication but take this much needed break.
    Keep documents scanned and fwd them when needed, few interviews get over in calls and F2F is a final formality for which you can buy some time with the recruiters... I've seen several critical vacancies taking more than 2 months from initiation to onboard/hire.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2010
  4. sruthi1981

    sruthi1981 Junior IL'ite

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    Dear Petite. Fly to India. Search for jobs from there. Have your husband buy a vonage phone and configure it using call forwarding option, so that any call that vonage receives would get forwarded to your cell in India. You can talk just like you are in the US. Now that you have just started on taking calls it would take time to have f2f interviews set up. Let me know if you need more info on this.

    Flying to India is the most needed option for you, since it gives you a change in the mood and atmospehere and brings your confident self back.

    Good Luck.
     
  5. Amruta7

    Amruta7 New IL'ite

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    Dear Petite ,

    You really need a break, fly to India don't cancel your trip it will definitely gives you change in mood and environment. In the meantime as sruti said you can attend the interview calls from india and it will surely takes some time to get to the F2F.

    Have a happy journey :wave and enlighten your thoughts.
     
  6. prasanna2126

    prasanna2126 New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I am recruiter I would advice to stay back and search for a job as market is good. If you go to india now you will be back in couple of months. Once October comes it would default for you again as new h1s would be in market and end of year no much jobs. again you need to wait for 1 year which would be long time and you will get 2 1/2 yrs break.


    Sincere suggestion stay back and hunt for job which is right time now.

    thanks
     
  7. Dilchahtahai

    Dilchahtahai Senior IL'ite

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    I seriously think you should go to India and take a break. What is more important to you? Your mental peace and happiness OR your job? You would be better off taking a break before starting a job, in my opinion.
    Sorting out your marital problems is more important. Getting stuck in a job would mean you still stay in same house, same routine and have no time to think. A couple of years go by and then you think what were you doing wasting your life with some guy you did not feel happy with..
    So, take a break. Come back in a month if you want to and then look for job..
    Honestly, getting a job 3-4 earlier or later would not make or break your career in long run .. Just my humble opinion..
     
  8. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    I would advise,find a sharing appartment or a paying guest accomadation and move to that place and look for job.
    Somehow you are confident that you would get job soon.Then that's good.Once you have job in hand then it might good for you to think about the future.In the year end job market will be very less.
    Even here or being in India you need to make yourself emotionally strong.
    Join in YMCA and that's very good place to get strength or find some friends to hand out sometime.First you need to get out of the house sometime to see outside world and get emotional strength.
    Just my 2 cents.
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    Its very clear that the Fashion Beauty (FashionB) in the subject of this thread is very highly confused about MANY things. I would say, first plan on flying as per the existing India trip. At the same time, take a paper and pen, list down the issues and categorize them, for each of the item in the list, describe what is the issue, what are the confusing points, what you need to do to handle it, what kind of help that you need to get etc, keep thinking about them and work on each of them. In the mean time, dont forget to refresh and enjoy in your trip.
    Example:
    Lets say getting a job is one of the item in the list.
    Check what are your weak points on resume or profile or skill set
    1) work Gap
    2) I dont know the latest technologies in the market.
    3) low on communication skills
    .....
    ....

    Now about (1) above: What could be the set of questions from the recruiter/employer? What should be the right answer? If I fake the time gap, how to prepare to meet that?
    If you did this home work, at the same time enjoy/refresh your trip, on your return(in one month), you are in a highly motivated position with fully prepared plan on how to attack the job market for your place in that.
    Hope that it helps.. keep moving on gurl.. be energitic
     
  10. BeautifulSoul

    BeautifulSoul New IL'ite

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    Dear Petite,

    Answer these questions for yourself:
    1. How will your personal life improve after you get a job?
    (For sure you will have a distraction from continuously sitting at home and only thinking about the problems that you have in marriage but will it sort the problems out?)
    2. What is more important to you? Getting a job w/o a happy marriage or a happy marriage w/o a job for sometime or having a kid with a job but w/o a good marital life?
    (I know all of us want the best in life but sometimes we need to decide our priorities, get them in order and then work on the other missing things.)


    Actually, I personally feel this mite be the best time to talk to your husband openly about things. See if both of you can figure out some solution for your marriage problems with concrete steps to be taken. If you feel he is positive and is keen, then you can postpone the ticket to an indefinite date.
    (I had a ticket to India and at the last minute I had to cancel my plan but I was allowed to use that ticket within next 1 year. Check with your travel co. or airline if they will allow you to do that)

    If you dont feel positive and both of you think that a break is a better option since it will give time to both of you to clear your minds and think rationally about how to go about the relation, then the Vonage option suggested earlier is the best thing for you. In this way you will still be able to continue with your search and get a hold on your thoughts about the relation as well.

    Regarding, what will family and relatives think and say and comment when you go back, does that really matter? You cant make people happy always all the time. Its a known fact, you do anything in life, 50% of people will like it and 50% wont coz they have their own thoughts and ideas.

    Its YOUR life, you know what you are going thru, you know makes you happy and what doesn't so you have to make your own decisions. Even though its a love marriage and all that and your parents will definitely say "we told you so" but they still want the best for you and will try to help you genuinely in whatever ways they can.

    Hope you make a wise decision. Good Luck
     
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