Need Suggestions About Kids Birthday Party And Not Inviting Neighbor Kid

I know what you are talking about. The kids who make messes, run around, throw things, do not listen to repeated "do not's" more than any other kids in the gathering, and more than what "kids will be kids" allows for. Often, these have parents who look on benevolently with a smile while helping themselves to appetizers and other good food. They see their terror running around tables that have coke and juice glasses, while the hapless hostess is trying best to attend to food, kitchen and the running children.

Given any group of kids and families in a neighborhood or classroom, there will always be one or two such cases. Not inviting that kid is tempting, but not a good idea in any way. It is not the kids' fault they are the most trouble-makers. Kid will look out of the window and see people arriving at your house. All kids will talk about the party before and after. Even your neighbors who know that those two kids are a handful will mark you as the mom who didn't invite a neighborhood kid to a party. It will hurt that mother to have to answer her kids' question about why they are not invited. You don't want such bad vibes to be associated with a happy occasion like your child's birthday.

On a related note: we mothers go overboard in the work for a birthday party. The return gifts, the cake, the topping, the cake decoration, the candles, balloons, other decorations, appetizers, kids' food, adults' food... by the time we are done, we are often fit to be tied, cranky, and impatient with own kids too. As your kids grow a bit older, you'll find doing birthday at an outside venue more fun and convenient, and bigger attraction: parents can drop off kids.

For parties at home, hiring a teenager can be difficult in a desi neighborhood sometimes. And they themselves need supervision : ) What I did couple of times was ask one close friend to be in charge of kids' games, another to keep an eye on the not-insured cake, and another kept the most unruly kids under some control. At a good time in the beginning, helps to gather all kids (away from the cake table), and in a fun way tell them "this Auntie or Mrs. A/b/c will be in-charge of x/y/z. Make sure you listen to her, or you will get the last piece of cake..." And if there are some clear cut instructions to be given, such as do not push the fish tank, do not go upstairs, do not slide down the railing ... give those in a pleasant and funny manner. The kids will not remember but hopefully some parents will, and when Auntie (Mrs. A/b/c) tries to say "no", she has a leg to stand on.

After all the care you take, birthday parties are still a chaos and there will be mayhem. As long as the birthday kid and guests enjoy it, and just 1 or 2 have a melt-down, count it as a success.

We don't realize even (our) well-behaved kids can cause disruption at parties. My older one used to go and start reading the birthday kid's books, more kids used to follow : ) and the Aunty conducting the "pin the tail on the donkey" game was left holding the tail and the blindfold. : ) Of course difference was that the minute I spied her reading a book, I immediately went and had her put it away and join the party as that was what the hostess wanted, and that was what was best for the overall party fun. I did not smilingly say with barely hidden pride, "oh...she loves to read.. always reading... cannot pull her away from books." It became an instruction I gave her before dropping off to party 'try to join the activities...you are going to a party, not a playdate.'