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Need Some Ideas...a Worried Mother

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by TulipG, Dec 11, 2016.

  1. TulipG

    TulipG New IL'ite

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    My daughter will be giving her entrance examination for admission in medical colleges next year. Her preparation is good and she is confident of doing well.

    But I am scared that some of our relatives and family friends secretly wish her bad luck and want harm upon her. I have known them for a long time and I know them very well. They often inquire too many questions about my daughter’s study, exam, schedule etc, just too much curiosity.. I feel extremely uncomfortable telling everything to them. I don’t want to. I feel they are giving evil eye towards her. She is a good and obedient girl and very good in her studies.She had passed her class 10 board exams with flying colors. And these same people, I could feel, were extremely disappointed and jealous when I broke them the news,

    How can I avoid talking about my daughter’s exam with them ? I don't want to talk about this exam topic till my daughter's admission is finalised. How can I do that ? Pls give me some ideas.
     
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  2. dc24

    dc24 Gold IL'ite

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    Please have faith in God that your daughter's hard work and your prayers won't go in vain. I do believe that sometimes penetrating eyes and jealous people cause lots of distress and negativity in a genuine person's life.
    I too have encountered some of such people in my life. While dealing with envious persons...be a little diplomatic. Never reveal your daughter's study plan...timings...preparation. Rather tell them that...medical entrance competition is so tough...only limited seats available and applicants are in lakhs...etc etc. Another thing you can do when these people are around is...have positive affirmations inside you that no matter how much these people send us negative vibes, my God will protect my family, my kids from them.
    That's what I do and by God's grace everything is fine.
    I would love to hear from other ILites too...:)
     
    anika987 likes this.
  3. Tharun1985

    Tharun1985 Bronze IL'ite

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    Yes....As dc24 said...Do your hard work....God will take care everything....
     
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  4. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

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    If you can, avoid conversations with them altogether till the admission is done. Or keep the conversations short. When they start acting nosy, say you have some work to complete and excuse yourself before the topic continues. You can also give vague, incomplete answers like "sometime soon", "I will let you know" etc. When its done repetitively, it will make them understand you are unwilling to give them all the information and eventually it may stop. Alternatively, try diverting the topic. Hope these help.

    Best wishes to you and your daughter! :thumbsup:
     
    KashmirFlower, anika987 and guesshoo like this.
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Been there done that but not for a med entrance.
    Typical response:

    Q: how is your kid studying
    Me: as he can
    Q:which tutions
    Me:no tutions(true too)
    Q: how is he faring in his exams
    A: i am happy. He is fine so we don't worry over numbers.
    (Personally they had no pressure from us)


    Kind of looks lame but it takes off the pressure on the kids from others.


    Fast forward my kids are following their goals and dreams which are not similar to those of any in the immediate family.
    And they have now learnt to respond to these themselves.

    So relax. You cannot control people's inquisitiveness, intrusions or curiosity. At the end it is the kid's hardwork and the calm confidence while giving the exams.

    Strangely i have seen the jealousy step in with my son's case once. The friend who gave the books and notes telling me poor ds i know he struggles so let these help him and he got more than the friend's daughter and now it is a strained relationship.nothing is in anyone's hand.

    So allow you kid to enjoy studying. Dont add the additional pressure of being secretive or being stressed in this regard.

    All the best to your kiddo
     
  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Don't give the info...just don't..just because they ask questions doesn't mean ur obligated to answer all..vague answers vague answers are best..
    Examples
    1. What does ur daughter wanna study?
    Oh, she has kept her options open..as if engineering and medicine are the only courses...so many fields are there..lets go with d flow n decide.
    2. Which exams has she applied for?
    Few mandatory exams..everyone applies for all exams..got to try d luck everywhere you see.
    3. How are ur daughters studies going on..
    Fine.
    4. How many hrs does she study?
    I don't know. I never push her to study.
    5.study schedule?
    I don't wanna constrict her by imposing schedule n all.. I'm not that kind of parent.
    6. Exam schedule?
    Available onLine. Wil let u know after taking printout..

    If questions get too detailed n irritating..just change topic...divert topic towards their kids studies..same questions they ask u, u ask them...or change topic to something they are not comfortable with.
    Don't share ur daughters exam results apart from close family members...anyone asks ant her studies, just say she's doing fine and studies is not everything.
    Pray to God everyday, He will protect ur child against negative influences.
    This is something that happens to all bright students..jealous people are always there to demotivate them. So always try to boost ur daughters confidence.
     

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