Need some help...

Dear friends,

I have been a regular reader on IL for a while now, but today I saw a thread on whether it is necessary for the wife to discuss details of previous relationships to husband. That prompted me to write my first post here.

I have been married for 2.5 years. Ours was a love marriage. DH had 3 previous girlriends before we met. Now he and I have always been honest with each other about our previous relationships. But my problem is that I feel that DH is being a bit TOO honest. He has told me all the details about each of his previous girlfriends, including how they met, what was good, what was bad, what went wrong, etc. Including the physical aspects of their relationships.

Initially, I thought that it is very good that he feels comfortable sharing these things with me. However, in recent times, I am starting to get bothered by some things. His first girlfriend died due to some medical problem when they were both 18. Their's was a "bachpan ka pyar" type, they grew up together. And when she died, he broke off contact with their common friends because according to him, they reminded him of her. Now in the last few months, he has re-established contact with those common friends. Which is completely fine. Except, for some reason, he doesnt want me to know he has been talking to those friends. I cant understand why he would do that.

The other day, he had left his email account logged on on the home computer. When I went to use it, I saw there was a conversation between him and one of those friends. Curiosity got the better of me and I read the damn thing. Oh how I wish I hadnt! It seems his friends know more about what he thinks and how he thinks than I do. And these are friends he hasnt seen in 10 years! His friend even knew my work roster off the top of his head!

I guess there are lots of things bothering me. For all these years, DH and I used to be each other's confidantes, and now all of a sudden, there is this other person. Maybe he feels like he cannot confide in me anymore like he used to. Plus we have been having a few minor issues in our marriage recently, and I just feel very insecure all of a sudden. My mind is too confused at the moment, and I cannot think straight. I need you guys to help me out. Am I over-reacting here, or do you guys think my concern is justified?