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need serious advice

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by hopefulforbest, Jun 3, 2010.

  1. hopefulforbest

    hopefulforbest New IL'ite

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    Hi Everyone,

    i have had my series of issues with political inlaws and a great hubby. after great deal of fights we are trying to patch up. now my DH is trying to convince me that there was no fault on his side and all he has been doing is trying to save for us so that we can buy a house. i recently found out that i dont have credit history. my Hubby gave me a joint credit card and i have been using that. when i went to get anew phone they verified and said since i dont have a credit history i have to pay extra 500$. now my question is how do they decide on mortgage when we both go for getting a new house. iam very naive in such matters and i feel my hubby is uotp some mischief in this whole situation but cant understand exactly. my gut feeling is(correct me if im wrong) when we go for mortgage they may simply say since i dont have credit history we wont get good rates but since his is an established one he might qualify so they do not need to put my name on the deed.
    using my salary which he saved on his name he will buy a house on his name. please pour in your valuable opinions.
     
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  2. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

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    hopefulforbest,

    If you do not have good credit history and if your husband's history qualifies him for good rate then the loan will be on his name but the deed(title of the house) can have both of you. So you do not have to worry about that part.
    Your husband has to agree to add your name in the title of the house.
     
  3. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Hopefulfor best , Your post does not give info to post a reply to regarding issues with your husband.If you elaborate on that I can reply.
    Coming to your credit history, If you are working you shud be knowing by now that you cud have established your own credit history . Why didnt you apply for a credit card based on your status as working person. Usually with job its done here. Joint card is based on your husband's card and that in turn is based on his credit history. That being said you shud have applied for your own card. Its not a surprise you dont have a credit history.
    Mortgage is again based on your husband's credit history and you will have no problem with that if his credit history is good.Usually everybody apply for Mortgage as married couple as there are benefits to it . So you dont need to worry about that. Please elaborate on your earlier post to have more info. Good Luck.
     
  4. GiJoe

    GiJoe Silver IL'ite

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    Your DH can get a loan based on his credit history, but when the home is registered it can be registered in both your names. Some states in US has laws stating that married couples have to register the property on both their names so don't worry about who is going to get the loan. Since your credit history is not built up don't apply for the loan jointly you will not get good rates. In order to build your own credit history you have to get your own credit card and build your own credit history. Don't worry about who is going to get the loan, make sure when he is registering the property that it is on both your names.
     
  5. hopefulforbest

    hopefulforbest New IL'ite

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    thank you Archana, chocolate and Gijoe for the immediate information. feel relieved now.
    Archana,
    thank you very much for the information
    chocolate,
    i had it under separate post all my issues. my hubby gave me ajoint credit card and i didnt know know that credit never develops like that :bonk because i was the authorised user on his account. it was my fault for being so stupid. i didnt realise until quite some time all were plotting against me and i just trusted my hubby and inlaws.
    Gijoe,
    thanks for the response. i will get a new credit card.
     
  6. IndainDad

    IndainDad New IL'ite

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    Just find out if the state you are living in is a 'Community Property' state. If it is, you don't have to worry about whether your name is on the loan or even the deed. Such states would treat everything you guys buy post marriage as community property. Neither of you would have more rights over the property unless you can prove that some of your separate property (that you had before marriage) went into acquiring the asset. A CPA has to validate the claims of separate property. So don't worry about being taken for a ride later.

    Same goes for your salary as well. Both your salaries post marriage will be treated as community assets. Doesn't matter if the money goes into your account or your husband's.

    Same principle applies for liabilities as well. Even if the CC is in your husband's name (with or without you being an authorized user), the charges put on it post marriage will be considered community liabilities.
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2010
  7. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Yep this is the need of the hour:)

    Whats going to happen down the line when you guys go for applying a home loan...to take care of that you still have time!

    But before that, apply for a new CC tell your husband that you felt bad you dont have a good credit history. So build on it. Also ensure that you open a bank account all on your name and keep some amount in it.

    There are some tips on how to build on credit history quickly read those. i.e start paying some of the bills using your CC and pay back the amount on time to CC.

    Also if your salary is going into his account, it should have both of your names. Not just his name. I am not saying dont trust your husband. but I am saying finances always help in keeping the marriage intact/ spoil it. So tell him that going forward your salary would first go into your separate A/C from which you would monthly transfer the amount to a joint A/C. Not to his sole A/C. Again this is not because you dont trust him, but because you should know whats happening with finances at home moreover when you are earning that money.

    When relationships go sour, people would go to great lengths to fight about money. So dont give it all away and later feel sorry /be revengeful. Better be safe than sorry later!
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2010
  8. hopefulforbest

    hopefulforbest New IL'ite

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    thank you sri vidya and indiandad. the state we are in is equitable property basis. the reason for me being worried about it they have played many dramas and my hubby seems to me like half on their side and half on my side.he keeps everything secret from me and is very controlling. it took me a while to realise im in an abusive relationship because i dont have basic freedom. once i realised that i started fighting back and now i havea separate account for my salary. all the elders were also involved and told my inlaws strictly that they cant mistreat me. so my inlaws and hubby trying to patch up. my hubby says he has put in certian amount of my salary into money tier market account and he shows me the statement from the bank which shows only my name on it. so it could be an individual account but he has online access to it and i feel he can transfer anytime back from it. he claims hes saving everything to buy a house and i dont want to be cheated again. so trying to get to know the facts before i can accost him of any blame.
    thanks everyone for your instant replies bcos it boosts up my confidence level.
     
  9. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    my hubby says he has put in certian amount of my salary into money tier market account and he shows me the statement from the bank which shows only my name on it. so it could be an individual account but he has online access to it and i feel he can transfer anytime back from it. he claims hes saving everything to buy a house and i dont want to be cheated again.

    Hopefulforbest, Your post mainly indicates you are still on the fence about your husband and your relationship.First of all as Srividya said Money can bring out the worst in marriages. Why did it come to some elders in family telling your in laws and husband to give you some freedom. You are educated and working here. Are you not adult enuf to have done all this by yourself. Okay for a min if you let that go too after discussion you shud have been proactive and asked your husband to hand over all your funds.Why didnt you do that? Dont come into all your husband's talk about Money Market Account or any other accounts. It simply shows he is not ready to hand over the money to you. You need to do it asap. Your husband has to win trust from you in reality rather than you asking him about your money. Be firm and tell your husband to give all account details to you. Once he gives it change all the details where access is only to you and not to him. I know its cold but you need to do it so you gain some foothold in this relationship.

    Lets agree for a min he is saving it to buy a house. Where are his savings details. Do you have any details regarding that? Ask him for it. If he throws tantrums walk out. At the same time I will advice you to do it after you get your account details and change it to you only having access to it.take one step at a time .Good Luck.
     
  10. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

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    hopefulforbest,

    Since you are still in the phase of building relationship with your husband and there were trust issues before, if I were you, I will not provide access to my accounts to husband. You say he claims saving for the house, you do not know for sure. You need to know how much is saved, where it is saved, where the money is going almost everything in detail. Overlooking event the minute details will cost you in future. You need to question him until you get a comfortable answer. That also will help you know how much he has changed or is trying to change.
     

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