1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Need Perspective From Older Parents

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by ChennaiExpress, Jan 2, 2018.

  1. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,183
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female

    I Will find downtime to paint even it's 1or 2 hours a week.
     
  2. shinycalif

    shinycalif Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    117
    Likes Received:
    56
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear ChennaiExpress,

    Have you thought of holistic health. I am not sure if it will help but it won't do any harm either. food is the body's oxygen and i have read plenty of articles and also books all of what kind of looks into one direction. Eating less complex food that puts less stress on the body and allows it to digest easily and also throw out the toxins in an easy way. sometimes its as easy as changing your lifestyle and honestly its a big change but its for good. You can look into Luke coutinho's videos ! He kind of makes sense. Its so easy to eat food thats unhealthy but so hard to prepare food from scratch. I didn't even know you need eat minimum of 4-5 cups of veggies +fruits everyday. And lots of raw food that helps to absorb the live enzymes from plant based food. Please look into this and it might help!

    Luke Coutinho
     
    GeetaKashyap likes this.
  3. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,183
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female

    Thank you, will research.

    By the way Dad already eats fruits and veggies, with lots of fiber, i.e. Metamucil, psyllium fiber. zero processed foods.
     
  4. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,183
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    Today is didn't paint and I felt raw. I'll be ready to do medical paintings in a few months. Hope job thing isresolved, along with few other odds and ends. Want to study premed and MCAT with a freer, less stressed mind.

    Now I am showing my Dad a CE-to-do-list and asking him to add anything. That way when Dad gives a task I won't feel so overwhelmed.

    Writing would help to prioritize.

    I'm praying to God Dad has good health and happiness in this life itself. Mantras simply don't do it for me. I talk to God and say these tears are my prayers, please help.
     
  5. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    1,006
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Its difficult to chant when we are so upset. I know your situation is too tough and you trying to be more strong to handle them. Really god only knows his plans for you but we all pray it should be the best. You really deserve to be happy and live a peaceful life.
     
  6. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,921
    Likes Received:
    9,220
    Trophy Points:
    460
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear CE,

    After reading through this thread, this is what I understand. Please don't misunderstand my plain blunt words. I am writing with your best interests in mind.

    Your father loves you a lot but feels that he is contributing to your colourless life with his sickness. Since he is in pain, he is highly irritable so he is over reacting and that is not your fault. His mental agony and physical symptoms would reduce if he sees you more happy with people and activities suited to your age.

    When you expressed that you release your tensions through paintings, he understands your loneliness hence irritated at his own limitation and helplessness. He still sees you as his responsibility and he is worried about your future. He will feel far better mentally and physically, if he sees you happier, perhaps in a relationship.

    All said and done, life doesn't follow our wishes, it has its own ways. Don't be in too much hurry to jump into a relationship just to please him. But stay positive and open minded to give it a try. You are very creative and talented. Please continue to paint as it is an outlet for your emotions, but you don't have to tell him (as it makes him guilty).

    CE, there is life beyond your father. Don't misunderstand my words, please. Your extreme involvement is just not healthy for anyone. You continue to love and care but give him some breathing space too. You are obsessed about his health beyond a healthy level, like contemplating on changing career, worrying about every little health issue, drawing everything related to his health! You perhaps need to seek some guidance from a mental health professional just to reorient your thoughts and life.

    While continuing to love him, look at life beyond him; you will at least be prepared to live well in future. Try more outdoor activities for yourself. You may consider alternative treatments to improve the quality of your father's life like homoeopathy, acupuncture, acupressure, massages etc. Allow him to live through his sickness and let him sort his mental issues by himself. Trust him; he is capable of sorting his own issues without your undue care and interest.

    Once he sees you in a positive frame, he will be more peaceful and he will recover faster.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2018
  7. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    1,006
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Sorry I am saying other than this topic. But I really like how maturely you reply for almost all the things. I too wonder if I will ever be able to get that.

    CE she is saying right. When you cannot do much about any situation then at least you can become less possessive about it to make your life not so overburdened. Harsh but true. Please try to have more hobbies like yoga singing dancing etc. If I could come to you I would definitely made you dance with me. Just try to feel the life beyond all the problems going in it.
     
    ChennaiExpress and GeetaKashyap like this.
  8. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,183
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female

    Thank you so much! May we all be happy ☺
     
    MonikaSG likes this.
  9. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,183
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female

    I guess another reason especially care for him is because so many people told him to abandon me since he wanted to divorce my toxic and evil mother. He chose to stay when he had opportunity to marry any beautiful, nice, smart lady.

    I cannot imagine the damage that would happen if I was in her some custody. This same woman thinks it's ok my ex is abusive and caused my miscarriage.

    I guess I am trying to look for silver lining in this situation, plus I got encouragement from Doctor to make app that helps doctors and patients, to write books (currently working on one) and to teach (I've enjoyed mentoring employees and interns at work), particularly medicine.

    This is good in itself, I just shouldn't push myself prematurely. Yesterday when painting from Grants Atlas of Anatomy instead of being in bliss I was crying inside.

    When I reach a point of bliss while painting from the Anatomy book then I will know my mind is truly ready to learn this fine knowledge.

    Even my Dad said if I study medicine I'll learn lot about keeping healthy long after he is gone (I was upset when he said he was going to go).

    So I'd like to consider this a silver lining, at a healthy pace.

    And for now i won't mention painting to him.

    Will look for alternative medicine for Dad.

    As for getting into friendship/relationship I'll also take it at healthy pace.

    Thank you so much for you advice.

    I have to remember to be peaceful (that will help with Dad's health and happiness)
     
    NeetaR, MonikaSG and GeetaKashyap like this.
  10. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,183
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female

    Singing sounds fun.

    Hugs to you too!
     
    MonikaSG likes this.

Share This Page