Need insights.. pls advice

Hi friends,

im back after a long time. mainly because im back to being on bench .

ok, my confusion now - have a 3.3 yr old DS who will join school soon. i have few concerns, but first my background. warning - it might get long

1. DS school admission to lkg
2. My work
3. Financial issues
4. In laws support
5. husbands business
6. DS nature

1. there are 2 options - on school 'A' near where i stay. and school 'B' which is 30 kms away from where i stay. A is a cool school, with cosmo crowd and not the typiucal homeowrks kind of school. they dont load students with homework, have extra curricular activities, etc. no written exams till 5th std. after 5th they are like ay other school. my dh and i prefer this school ANYDAY as we dont want to burden the child and rather become independent. school B is typical school which gives booklets of homework everyweekend and plus everyday normal homeowrk. very study oriented and no extra curricular activities. we are not in favor of this, unless there is no option at all. its our last preference.

2. my work place is near school B. if he gets in A, i might have to quit my high paying job. while in B, i can continue working. i cant leave job as i have some committments. can look for other jobs, but cant be jobless more than a month as my loans get auto debited every month...

3. i have to loan of around 6 lacs more .. and hence cannot leave work. dh pays for his/dad loans and takes care of house expenses. so depending on him is not an option

4. ILs are overall nice, except they interfere in every decision. they are used to controlling their kids and now want to control me. unfortunately, my DS and I are similar in temparament and nature - we will never be in mil's control . they do love my DS like crazy.. which is a good thing. they cared for DS till he was 2 (though with vacations in between, due to which i got depromoted and nearly lost my job). But i would prefer to look at the good part. now, they have clearly told not to depend on them, though we have to live together as a joint family. they will take care, but i need to take leave as and when they need to travel/go out/ etc.. plus fil decides and mil BLINDLY follows his word. no matter what - his word is FINAL for her.

5. dh runs a business. he is making money, but not enough to sustain the joint families and not enough for me to leave job. he too doesnt want me to leave work. in fact ILs too dont want me to quit because they know the business situation. plus he travels atleast once a week for 2-3 days (not on weekends).

6. DS is 3.3 now. till he turned 2, in laws took care. but they kept travelling and hence i was forced to take leaves. obviously my job /career/salary got hit big time. finally put him in day care and he is very happy there. now, in laws travel even more and dont have ANY responsibility of DS. since last 3 months, DS has become very moody and doesnt like ILs coming near them. shouts, screams, temper tantrums, etc etc - which i hope is just a phase . otherwise, he is an intelligent and healthy child. shows all his love to me and some to my dh :hide:. but he is cut off from in laws and sil. goes to them only when i scold...


with the above background - help me decide how do i manage with DS school and my work. if he goes to school A, i will have to leave at 7 am in the morning due to travel. and i can get back only by 7 pm.. i can cook and go. but other things like bathing, eating, etc etc?? with his current moods, he will be very difficult to ILs. and frankly, they cant be strict with him now. if he HAS to continue in B, school and day care both will be new to him. we have searched for umpteen maids, but no one stays for more than a month due to fil. he gets dis satisfied with every small thing. and as explained before, there is no way in which mil will not follow fil's orders.

pls help me decide what to do...

 

Thanks hrastro for responding

My answers are:

For 1 , 2 and 3 - BIG NO..
Can do #4 - but he is not getting admission in school A. im still trying, but not sure he will get.
#5 and ^ is not a problem at all. i can even miss my sleep for finishing all the work. the problem is NO day care opens at 7 am . so even if i want, i cannot drop him anywhere before 9 am

i told these issues to in laws - esp mil. she KNOWS she cannot handle DS - especially waking him up, feeding him milk, bathing, dressing him up, sending him school on time. i told her the tasks, but she kept quiet.. because she herself knows she cannot manage

last week i had to go to a school at 7 am to get the forms.. mil went beserk trying to do what i do everyday.. multitasking. result - DS was late to school by 30 mins (his principal scolded me), DH dint get lunch , though i had made it (she dint pack it).. basically she is VERY slow and mind doesnt work as quickly as us. im not blaming her - but even she knows she cannot handle everything... infact dh told me his mom cannot manage and not to depend on her (he was pisd off).

what im thinking is... do a medical transcriptuion training and work on it.. take sabattical from current job for a year. of course, MT will not pay me even half of what im earning.. but in the long run, for keeping me busy it will work.