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Need Inputs

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sweety2016, Oct 12, 2018.

  1. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you so much @DDream for your beautiful replies in almost every thread of mine. I feel so uncomfortable with people around especially at work. When I go out with family, I dont have any problem. I used to go to canteen all alone during lunch breaks and that has left a huge void inside me. I tried making friends with my colleagues but I was royally ignored, gossiped about and dont know what else. Though I was in the group I was made to feel lonely. Even if I smile nobody smiled back and I feel dejected even now. Even if people whom I have interacted see me sitting alone in a table they just walk past me and sit in a adjacent table and this makes still more sad but I always tried gelling with them. Now am tired in all dimensions. I dont smile at anybody, I have completely stopped talking with the ones I was talking to earlier. I watch videos or read something while eating completely oblivious of my surrounding but deep inside I crave for human interaction with sensible people. A little bit of empathy would have gone a long way but alas I am so unlucky in that aspect.

    I did make a few good friends but they were on projects and left with time. I help people in need, have decent relationship with group members but tats it. Now I have a differently abled friend who I take to canteen as she could not even carry her plate. Earlier she never used to have food at office as nobody was willing to tend to her needs. This struck me so hard that I started taking her with me and yes it gives immense satisfaction when I see the girl eat.
    People can be so rude and when they cant have some sympathy towards an extremely crippled person, I dont have much hope for myself!

    I always feel conscious about smiling at anybody fearing rejections and feel v uncomfortable walking alone every time..So my question is how do I get past this feeling at work? I want to feel relieved and relaxed with no thoughts about the surroundings.
     
  2. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear @Rakhii and @SinghManisha, thank you so much for your pointers. @Rakhii I have started listening to daimoko chant since yesterday but did not feel anything. Hope I be consistent enough to see some change.

    I have to clarify that I do most of the things mentioned by you, like making myself up at the washroom no matter what, going out, outsourcing work, except for setting up a routine for the baby. I have started working on it. Yes after this thread I did go to a parlour and had waxing and threading done. It felt so good beyond explanations. But these are transient reliefs. The other truth I have to agree is am lazy. I just want a pack of chips, TV and serenity at home after coming back from work which is not a good scenario I know but my heart wants that. I am becoming so overwhelmed nowadays. I get worked up and easily get angry for trivial matters. The atmosphere of the home is getting spoiled because of this. So the underlying cause for all my resentments I feel, is my attitude of not taking things lightly and being over emotional. Please read through the earlier reply I have given to DDream. I want inner peace and this is the only salvation! Do you guys have any pointers for that as well?
     
  3. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    @Sweety2016 , it took me close to 2 years to realise the essence of the chant. One day is not going to cut it :)
     
    Sweety2016 likes this.
  4. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Why put the onus of your inner peace on others acceptance of you ? If colleagues don’t acknowledge you is it the end of the world ? You have one friend now who I am sure appreciates your gesture. Bond with her during lunch time. She probably has had it worse knowing how people in India treat differently abled.

    Having to eat alone during lunch time in school / work etc is considered a flaw , sort of being shunned by others. But in reality it is not a big deal. A good book is such a stimulating company.

    Not everyone can be a social butterfly or a chatter box. You might be an introvert. Accept it gracefully for what it is.

    I really see no reason for you to feel bad about yourself. You have a job, you have a decent husband, a beautiful child. To overlook all that and feel miserable because you feel others ignore you is unfortunate. A million women would want to be in your shoes happily.

    The bag of chips and TV : you can always do it after the kid is put to bed.




     
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  5. amritavarshini

    amritavarshini Bronze IL'ite

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    I too have a similar story to tell..I'm 36 now and looking back I feel that I have wasted the prime years of my youth..of course lot of blessings and I thank God for that no doubt..but I feel in terms of quality of life I'm missing something...just a mundane existence.
    Two kids ..younger one going to be 2 soon..very demanding..doesn't allow me to go even to the bathroom( same story here too)on top of that I'm doing my research..5 years into PhD and I'm.lost....even I used to fancy about lot of things..well all those are possibly rantings of an immature mind.. everyday the same story..household chores looking after kids research I'm.fed up..in addition to that a chronic pain.condition called fibromyalgia.. takes hours to get out from the bed..husband extremelybusy..also not very cooperative..ten years of marriage and I feel strange and detached..would like to be alone for sometime but no way
     

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