Need Help :-(

You love a person who doesn't even respect you??

Respect comes before love Sparkle. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't be behaving like this. And so you cannot demand love from him. Have some self respect. Being so capable, if you cannot respect yourself, how will he respect you?

For the time being, stay at your parents place. He cannot demand money from you now right? Let him take the first initiative in calling you. And put stern conditions before you start living together.

 

Hi Sparkle,
Hugs. I am at loss of words and don't know what to suggest. You work so much in your home and office and your husband takes away all your money and gives you mere 800 to spend? mg: From what you have written he does not seem to have any respect for you and treats you really bad. I really don't know how can you still love him.
Clearly I cannot give you any advice because it will be not be something that you will like to hear.
But I will pray to God to give you enough strength and courage to live with a man like this. Hugs!

 

Dear Sparkle

Nice name. Sorry for you.. Why should you suffer like this when you are so much capable? Have you any day validated your skills and talent to match with the life you are living. Should you really love someone who does not respect you? . Does he miss you as you do now? Please write the pros and cons of your marriage and then take a call on it. Also give a brief reading on this forum. You need to rest sometime and make some clear decision to make your life Sparkle like your name. Good Wishes

 

Dear Sparkle,

Its very hard for women to live without any communication. If there is a gap in it, slowly problems start arising. Like other ILs said Love should be there from both side. But if u still love him, give him some time. Time heals...Dont take any haste decisions. Living with a person who havnt bothered u for the last 8 years...????. . I appreciate the love u still have for him. Discuss with parents...and give time...have patience, and spend more time for prayers. It heals..I'm a victim of the above situation... Same like urs...10 years of marriage ...2 years of love...and then ignorance...Very sad situation....I was helpless...then I spent time in prayers...but kept quite...patiently...after 3-4 months....miracle happened....we went for counselling...and now I still live with him....happily....so please wait....if ur love is true...it will definitely come back...may God give u strength to go through this situation

 

I think you are confused with the thing called love. You are not in love with him, but you love to be married. You love to have someone in your life as partner, you love that social status, and security. But I don't think, you really love this man at all.

The present situation is a blessing. Take advantage of this.

Open a new bank account. Ask your employer to transfer your salary to this new account from this month onwards.
Take some rest at your mom's place if they are understanding souls. If not, immediately rent out an apartment near your office, and smoothly vacate your mother's place to permanently make a home for yourself.

Ensure all the cost cutting methods, like no maid, no day care, restricted expenses etc... and get fullest support from parents and friends.

Don't lose hope. Start afresh. As a working mother at this age, you probably have some experience about this world. Invest them towards a new life.

As a result:-

1) your husband will learn to respect you; hence come back to you as a new person
2) You will soon have some self esteem, so such a stupid love will have no meaning in your dictionary

 

i dont understand the meaning of love as per women (what is it they really mean by love)
sorry OP i m not telling you but mentioning this in general. many girls say they dont get respect and affection or anything in return from hubby still they love them(or its their weakness which is holding them and they taking full advantage of that)
if you really dont count self respect, status, identity, love, affection as your right to get in return then u should rethink on that.

love is such a pure and deep feeling. love the person who gives or show you true meaning of life the purpose to live the life. love is not to give anyone right to destroy your existence/purpose of life. it should be win win relationship and not just tolerate.

here i feel that you should talk to him and be very firmly.
dear please relax sit for sometime only with you and deeply rethink upon this... now u might be doing all for sake of your child but just think few years down...you will repent that u will have nothing...ur hard earned money (for whom r u earning), your child (what future will u give her, without any investment) your love (even now he is not accepting you, forget in future), your identity (which u urself is loosing for that looser).

if you get any of the answers above that will b your final decision...you have best answer within you..just look for it

all the best dear

 

Dont be his advocate. His is at fault. Accept it.
You have married an unloving man. Accept it.
It is not your fault. So, dont be guilt of it.

Praise the lord, as you are definitely in a far superior position than other women, who are complete dependent on their spouse. You have a job, your kid and you are capable of running a home. Hang in there.

He is an adult. He doesn't need any elders to advice. He should know how to behave, as he is already a father.

If not, then teach him.