Need help!!!

I'm Nimmi ..Very peculiar story of my close friend..wanted to really bring her back to normal form.

She is always depressed from her childhood days her father and mother had clashes and most of the years they were separate..finally one day as her father beaten her severely for a silly reason of not having food she got a total hatred and got away from him. She spent her college days in her aunt's house where she was sexually abused by her uncle finally when a guy approached her for a decent way to marry her just accepted him a kinda escape here and stepped out of house totally. Her mother knew only the love affairs...with lot of troubles from both side relatives atlast got married I think 9 years back. From the day one they were not in good terms as they had opted for a nuclear family. Inlaws were all the time demanding their son to be at home..and he too danced to their tunes. She had that same fear about sexual abuse and this new battling in laws family...so never had a happy life with him. Slowly her husband started showing his other face..talking with many girls..chatting over phone. Every time it has ended with quarrels and on one hand the usual inlaws dragging away their son..made her to stay at home lonely. After 4 years finally decided to have a kid becos of family pressures and had a son. Now the kid is 5 years old. In the meanwhile her husband's fancying for girls was never ending ..chatting over phone turned to internet..webcam and it was going on a serious extreme though she was making him happyxxx. Everytime he has not spent quality time with her not caring her..so on. My friend is short-tempered and seeing all these she couldn't tolerate for years...she will at times abuse him..or finally cry nothing worked out. It blown out to a serious issue among all family members...because she dared to stay away from him in a separate room but in the same house I think nearly one year..in between all the family members had a get-together to discuss the issue and he confronted before everyone he will not indulge in such things..But my friend knew he will keep doing the same thing..becos for years its going on. Finally she took all courage she resigned her job from our office applied for a course abroad with such a huge opposition from both sides convinced everyone and left to study taking a huge sum loan which she is yet to repay. Now she completed her studies and now also working part-time..aiming to get work visa soon and trying to settle the loan once she gets a full-time job abroad. Now she is so afraid to come back though all family members all well with her..when I talk to her about her husband she is like I want to kill myself rather live with him he is still the same. She is so worried about her kid. Even I come for vacation I will not have any physical contact xxx with him that much she hates him..but he has started suspecting her for having any plans to settle abroad without him. Also threatening her if she can't be physically with him he will divorce her. I don't know how to make her accept her husband and settle to normal life..She says its too difficult to undergo suffering with a silent killer who tortures my inner feelings..for her family members sake who will totally disagree for divorce option she is no where able to get on with life...I feel so bad for her.. not knowing how to advice her. Apart from this she is totally shattered becos her father and mother situation is worse as they chose to stay apart...She has got a younger brother who is also dwindling with some bad family issues which is still making her more annoyed..She says whole family is obsessed with these kinda issues..all neighbourhood are tweeting on them..which is hurting..Can ladies here give ur suggestions..PLEASE

 

Hi Savietha..thanks a lot for your response.

I was thinking of making them unite..but I realise what you say is right..

Ladies here any other suggestions..

Sorry for the long post.

 

Anybody else who can add suggestions please ladies!!

 

Re: FRe: Need help!!!

Hi Foundlove,

I don't understand this part "Moreover her family's problems are not associated with her issues. She should keep them separate"...Please can you explain. (Sorry about this...)

Thanks

 

Thanks a ton for making me clear...Yep I shall leave her at peace and ask to relax so that her mental depression will calm down first...