Need Help Regarding Children Care.

He can't keep the kids away from.you.
You are better off in USA than india

 

Dear OP,
You are his wife, not his doormat.
Please calm down and gather your strength. He has no right to kick you out of your home or take your children away from you. Let him know that you know your rights.

And why do you have no wish to get child support from him? It is not charity. It is your and your children's right.

Focus your energies to get a job to build your confidence. And if you think no reconciliation is possible, tell him if he wants he can go ahead with divorce.

 

Keep the house. Keep the kids. Ask him to move out. Read this thread: Emotional Abuse In Marriage. Start divorce proceedings and file a motion for exclusive occupation of the marital home. As you are unemployed, it is your husband's responsibility to support you. It will be difficult for you to get and keep a job at this stressful time.

 

OP,
Relax ...don't take any decision when you are angry or stressed out

You are in USA. If you are unaware of the laws here search in Internet and even I ladies.

Know your rights and fight for it.Don't say you don't want it. It is your husbands job to support you when you don't have a job. It is his responsibility as a husband and father to take care of you and kids. Don't allow him separate you from any of your kids for whatever solution. Disagree with that else it may bring more stress to your life.

Don't say you are ok with him taking kids unless you find a job. He can not do that. You should never give up what is yours. Don't give him in impression that you simply walk away. Let him know that you know the rules and you stand for your rights

In the mean time try not to be in fights and just walk way if he tries to. Keep on fighting is not a solution to your problem.

Is your husband employed ? Do you guys have any financial problem? Is it the reason for his stress and fights.

People say so many unacceptable things when they are in fighting mode. Don't take that much to heart. When you guys cool down and relaxed , have a friendly face to face chat on your problems and how you can overcome your problem.

If he say leave don't leave the house. Stay there with kids. If he say he wants to keep you as wife, he need to support you and treat you as wife. Don't agree with his plans if you think it is unfare.

Be practical, keep your plans to yourself until you are ready to execute it.. You can also consult an attorney to know more..

Right now focus on your plans and job search. Devote your energy on you and kids and your preferences. Let him say whatever he wants to. Just ignore it.

Good luck with job search

 

Hello @SriVen. You have just quoted my post. You don't seem to have written anything. Did you post by mistake?

 

There are 3 things I noticed from what you wrote,

1. Your own emotional issues - Well, if you feel like it is your fault, than I would advise you to go to counseling. It might be part of your husband's insurance, but try to find someone who is NOT family or biased toward the situation to counsel you. My Inlaws can't help me, but neither can my parents. Having someone to talk to, and give you actual advice based on that, is infinitely valuable. In the meantime, you should try writing or typing in a journal. This will help you sort through your negative thoughts and bring clarity. All the stress can affect your judgement and you may struggle to pinpoint the ACTUAL problem.

2. Your husband's drinking problem and lack of desire to FIX the marriage - When I realized there were serious issues in my marriage, I wanted to go to marriage counseling - it was the last option, until I make any major decisions. If we couldn't fix it with counseling, then the problem is far beyond my ability to fix. Tell your husband that you want to help fix your marriage by going to marriage counseling with him. If that doesn't work, pull in your family (get your family on board, first). This might be a slow process, but finding guidance this way, will help you and understand the real issues that prevent both of you from getting what you want in the marriage.

3. Sex in marriage - I nearly laughed when you mentioned this...my husband has done the same thing. Well, counseling is the only way both of you can reach some level of understanding. Your own health problems will affect desire, coupled with jackass behavior from him, doesn't help. I understand how you feel, but sex is very important to him as well, so counseling might help him HEAR what you have to say.

This might sound redundant, but make yourself strong first. Gather all your weapons, mentally, financially, etc, and increase the self-confidence. Once you are able to feel more in control with your life, you will be able to make decisions more appropriately.