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Need Help Please.... Anyone experience this???

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Saranyaaa, Oct 30, 2015.

  1. Saranyaaa

    Saranyaaa New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I am Saranya. I was married 6 months back. It was arranged marriage. After marriage we are very happy. But now i face some issues due to my hus behavior.

    After marriage, he told that he love my hair very much and its very beautiful. I think that he is saying like most of the guys.
    He started combing and all the stuffs to my hair. I too like it. But after few days. he told that he wants to trim my hair. I refuse initially and then i allow him to trim for few inches.

    After few more days. My hair become so long and there are some split ends. So i told him that please drop me in salon. He told that we will go on week ends. But during weekend he came to me and said he wants to cut my hair. I request him that i need to go salon for threading and hair cut. But he replied to me that he will do the cut and remaining i can do it in salon.

    I dont have any option. He was very upset when i try to refuse. So i allow him to do in home itself. But this is first time i am doing it in home.

    I was thrilled because of his behavior. Then i didnt ask him anything about this. Then life was going well. But suddenly one day he shows one actress photo and saying that she was very pretty in short hair than long hair so he wants to try it to me. I dont know what to say. I cried and i stop talking to him.

    Then while i checking his lap i found that he had various haircut videos and he is watching haircut videos daily in internet. Then when i try to search about this in net i found that it's called hair fetish. I dont know what to do.

    For past 1 month i didn't spoke to him. I am very mush confused. How to handle him. Is he addict to the women hairs. How to control this? so many questions arising inside me? I am not ready to discuss with any of my family or friends. If anyone knows about this kindly give suggestions please.
     
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  2. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Assuming he actually has a hair fetish there is no reason to be so miserable about it. It's not something that can be controlled. All human beings have quirks when it comes to sex. Your husband likes beautiful hair. It's just something he finds erotic. Trust me as fetishes go, a hair fetish is very very mild. Wikipedia says 7% of individuals in a study admitted to having a hair fetish. Such individuals derive pleasure from the sight of hair being cut or groomed. They might even take pleasure in cutting hair themselves.

    Unless this is something you find abhorrent, you can actually try to engage him by indulging some of his fantasies. Now obviously you don't want your husband to damage your hair or to give you an awful haircut. The simple thing to do would be to gently let on that you know that he derives pleasure from hair, and let him give it an occasional trim when you need it. After he's had his fun you can get an actual haircut at a salon. You could even plan ahead and make an event of it, if you get my drift.

    Find a middle ground that works for both of you. Suggest ways he can have fun with your hair. Let him wash it, groom it, but be clear that you are not okay with it being cut short. Read up on how to indulge a man with such fantasies. You might find yourself enjoying it more than you think.

    He probably feels embarrassed to let on his true feelings. Open communication from your end will help resolve this issue. If this is something you absolutely cannot tolerate then have a talk with him, and let him know how you feel. He might agree to tone down his impulses. I don't know what other solution there can be, but without frank and direct communication you might make the situation worse than it needs to be.
     
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  3. pinky2cute

    pinky2cute Platinum IL'ite

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    Hair fetish it is !! ...
    OP, I know it's not a good feeling when your DH has such weird fetish.
    But don't worry. It's a harmless fetish. You can't change his feelings so don't make him feel guilty about it nor you should feel embarrassed.

    You're just 6months into your marriage. Shower him with love and affection. Whenever he starts talking about hair, gently and subtly divert the topic or give him a kiss or a hug and talk something else like what he did in office today or his childhood memories...anything that can divert his mind.

    Mostly this plan-A won't workout initially or it may work temporarily. ..but have patience.

    Plan B will be more useful for you incase plan-A fails. The plan is that you get a long hair wig and clip it on your head and let your DH satisfy his fetish and cut the gair or groom it as he wants .... this way your original hair is safe :)

    But tell him gently and calmly that you'll not let him cut your original hair. If he resists, you allow him to comb it but if he insists on cutting your real hair, then put your foot down and say "NO" firmly.

    Good luck.
     
  4. Saranyaaa

    Saranyaaa New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your reply Gauri. I agree with your point. But I think it needs to be controlled bcs when I checked his laptop I found most of the photos and videos are related to hair. Even his relatives and friends photos are also there in the collection. I felt bad how he think about his sister and friends like that. This is only thing I can’t digest.
    Even I too enjoy him while doing hair grooming. But while romance I am very much fear on him. Bcs he treat my hair roughly and I am afraid of him whether he cut my hair too short.
     
  5. Saranyaaa

    Saranyaaa New IL'ite

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    Thanks. Might be plan A might help some times. But plan B wont happen. Bcs he is not interested in Wig.:thumbsdown
     

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