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Need help-- Parents Conference

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by krithigat, Mar 2, 2010.

  1. krithigat

    krithigat Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Ilites,
    Whenever I have a problem or doubt, now-a-days I started to bring it here . Thank you for all the support.:bowdown
    My son is in Kindergarten, he just turned 6 on feb 25th.
    Yesterday we received a letter from school, saying we are asked to attend a parents teacher conference which also includes school pscyhologist, ESE teacher, ESE cooridinator, his teacher and speech and language pathologist --- (study team). :spin
    I have been receiving complaints from his teacher like he is not listening, he didn't finish his work, he is crying and screaming when he is not getting his way etc..:drowning

    Has anyone gone through this before???
    What will they do, what to expect, :hide:
    As I am brought up in India, I don't know much about the educational system here.

    Help me Ilites please
    Thank you
     
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  2. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Krithigat, KG though we as parents think might be easy, kids have to learn a lot of coping mechanisms to just fit in the classroom environment starting from our accent to many other things. So it can be very difficult for a child. What has been telling you at home? Assess that also before you go to the school.

    I donot know the background like if he did preschool in a daycare/regular school. If he is exposed to enough English - how is he as far as communication is concerned etc. Keeping all this in mind here is my take.

    I think because of the complaints you have been receiving the school might have decided to bring in all these people to give you and assessment of your child - language wise and behaviour wise. I am thinking your child is exposed to two languages and the teacher/school might be feeling that he is not able to understand English or rather communicate back to the teacher about his needs, hence the ESE teacher/coordinator. His behaviour (stubborness etc) might be the reason why a psychologist is also there and ofcourse his teacher to speak about what's happening in her class.

    Don't take it the wrong way for starters. Go with an open mind and listen to what they have to say. One good thing is as a parent you have an option to say no to anything they might have to suggest and as a school they are making sure that they are doing what they think is necessary. So I would suggest that go, listen to what they have to say, understand that in the context of what you know of your child and then make a decision. I am sure the meeting will throw a lot fo light for you.

    I also notice you have another little one. If possible leave her with someone and both you and husband go for the meeting. That way you will have two perspectives and you can make a combined decision and assessment. For the most part, they might suggest a ESL class for him - in that case find out what will be offered for his age and how do they think it will help him. I really do not know about the psyciatrist part, so really cannot offer any opinion.

    What ever I have written is from my interaction with schools here as a parent and also a person actively involved in PTA - so it can vary from situation to situation. Don't take anything personally and go with the thought that whatever they are doing is because they think they can help. Once you sit in the meeting and offer your side, you might be able to come to a better conclusion.
     
  3. krithigat

    krithigat Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you Srama for your detailed reply.

    They did do ESL test when we enrolled him ans said his English is pretty good. only thing he lagged was, when they told a story and asked him to repeat it, he didn't do very well, so she asked me to practice that skill at home.

    so now we have story telling time before sleeping, when we tell him one story and he has to tell us a story, that works well.

    Now I am looking forward for the meeting
    .
     
  4. moonriver

    moonriver Junior IL'ite

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    I'll second the open mind approach. They're there to help you and your child. Consider yourself lucky that whatever it is, is being brought to your attention and they have got a team to work with you. Worse case scenario, they could have simply labeled him as a difficult kid and let him suffer through whatever is going on with him.

    Few things.

    How was he at pre-school? Is this behavior new to him?

    I see from your ticker that you have a little one. Do you think he's missing out on one-on-one time from you? Till almost 5 years, he has been getting all the attention from you. I assume that your daughter is on the move now and is probably taking that away. Is his father more involved? After a certain age (my boys are 6 1/2 and almost 4), my husband started taking them out to do 'boy stuff' like going to see car dealers, for big boy haircuts, play soccer outside. Or one kid would be with me and the other would be with my husband.

    Is he involved in any sports where he can expend energy? I was a girly girl, so I was a bit clueless about the whole boy thing and how they are mostly physical. When they don't have opportunities for physical play, they get very cranky.

    My 6 1/2 year old, who's in 1st grade, is starting to work on story-telling. He expresses better with writing, however clumsy it may be. When in K, he used to draw what he understood. Kids have different ways of expressing it. I think the school should work with that. Develop one skill while allowing the kid to use whatever feels good for them.

    Good luck.
     
  5. krithigat

    krithigat Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you Moon river for your reply.

    How was he at pre-school? Is this behavior new to him?

    I did get the same complaints in preschool for initial days, later on no complaints.


    I see from your ticker that you have a little one. Do you think he's missing out on one-on-one time from you? Till almost 5 years, he has been getting all the attention from you. I assume that your daughter is on the move now and is probably taking that away.

    Yes I do take care , that my DD doesn't take all the time . Infact I feel the reverse, I am not spending much time with her, as I did with my son when he was a baby. But he do get jealous, like he says" I don't want you to feed her, don't give her milk" etc. I tell him that he used to do all that she does , when he was baby. He is also very fond of her. He takes good care of her, he will play with her. When she is crying my son will call one of us " Mom/Dad , baby is crying she needs you, pick her up".


    Is his father more involved? After a certain age (my boys are 6 1/2 and almost 4), my husband started taking them out to do 'boy stuff' like going to see car dealers, for big boy haircuts, play soccer outside. Or one kid would be with me and the other would be with my husband.
    Yes his father spends lot of time with my son. GOing outside is limited, but inside they play together with basketball, football, board games.They go to shops, zoo, museum, park etc some time weekly once. He is more attached to his Dad than me. My DH will do whatever he asks

    He used to take swimming lessons, after coming to FL, we haven't started yet, but we will .
    We are also doing Kumon. NOw I have started Hooked on phonics, he is actually little behing in the curriculum, since we moved from CA to FL, ther is difference in both states, he is doing well. He loves books, he has started reading by himself for a month now.

    Good luck.[/quote]

    Like you have specified I am going to go with a open mind. Thank you:)
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2010

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