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Need Help In Gifting Protocol Amidst Custody Battle

Discussion in 'Birthday Party Planning' started by aspha, Jan 10, 2017.

  1. Jan 10, 2017 #1
    aspha

    aspha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear ILites,
    We are invited to a birthday party of a 4 year old whose parents are amidst custody battle and a ugly divorce. They both have kept b'day parties on 14th and 15th respectively which we are attending.

    How do you gift at this situation? Do you gift at both the parties, combine and give at one of the locations?
     
    aspha, Jan 10, 2017
    aspha, Jan 10, 2017
    #1
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  2. Jan 10, 2017 #2
    MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    I would give a smaller gift but at both parties. The child is probably too young to fully understand what's going on and will be excited to receive birthday presents.
     
    MalStrom, Jan 10, 2017
    MalStrom, Jan 10, 2017
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    Rihana and JustAnotherMom like this.
  3. Jan 10, 2017 #3
    WorriesTooMuch

    WorriesTooMuch Silver IL'ite

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    I would give two small gifts too. The child is probably going through enough upheaval in their little life and is probably excited at the thought of two parties. So a small gift at each of them will keep them happy.

    Also it will be one less thing for the parents to fight about- divorces can get very petty when there's a custody battle involved.
     
    WorriesTooMuch, Jan 10, 2017
    WorriesTooMuch, Jan 10, 2017
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  4. Jan 10, 2017 #4
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Give gifts at both the parties. The situation is kind of sad, but is equivalent to an expecting woman having more than one baby shower thrown for her and you are invited to both due to knowing her in more than one capacity. You'd give two gifts as it'd look odd to show up at a party with no gift.

    On a general note, I wonder how divorced parents manage kid's birthday parties. Ideally, if there are two parties, there should not be any guests (other than family/relatives) invited to both parties. Puts the guests in awkward position, and the kid also feels odd to be wished by the same guest twice in party settings.
     
    Rihana, Jan 10, 2017
    Rihana, Jan 10, 2017
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  5. Jan 10, 2017 #5
    WorriesTooMuch

    WorriesTooMuch Silver IL'ite

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    When things have settled down, it gets easier. I know a couple that does birthday parties alternatively, for eg: one year at dad's the other at mom's. The non-party throwing parent attends and they're both civil to each other, so it's a reasonable solution.

    But in between a nasty battle? Yikes.
     
    WorriesTooMuch, Jan 10, 2017
    WorriesTooMuch, Jan 10, 2017
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  6. Jan 11, 2017 #6
    aspha

    aspha Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you so much ladies! It helped a lot in making a decision. We are attending both the parties, esp. thrown by his mom for the kid's sake. His dad and our families are really very good friends and the turn of events has boggled us all.
     
    aspha, Jan 11, 2017
    aspha, Jan 11, 2017
    #6

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