Need Help!!! Does anyone live in Melbourne, Australia!

kavitaprem · Nov 27, 2008

Hi Everyone,
Few years back my cousin sister got married to a guy who is working in Australia. Hers was an arranged marriage. The alliance came from common relatives and the marriage was done in few weeks. My uncle didnot get a chance to find more details about the boy. Now my sister is going through hell. It has been 4 years she got married. And her husband tortures her and spys on her. He doesnot allow her to talk to anyone, not even her own mother or siblings. Unfortunately my uncle died from heart attack 1 year back. My sister family doesnot come from a well off family and this guy takes advantage of it. None of the family or relatives knew of her toture until 1 year back when she called me and told me the whole story. I called up my aunt and other uncles and told them the situation. They said when my sister goes to india, they will teach the guy a lesson, but that didnot happen. When my sister went to India, noone of the fanily members gave her side. They said "your husband has diabets and thats why he gets angry.. you need to adjust, thats what girls do". I understand that there are adjustments in every marriage, but I dont agree that the husband has any right to beat or spy of his wife. Thats just illogical.. Isn't it. I cannot contact her since her husband blames me that I instigated her to tell the family. He told me he would torture her more if he finds out that I am calling. After her india trip, this guy no more torture her or beats her, but doesnot allow her to talk to anyone.I told my sister to come out of the situation and go back to India. She says that if she goes now, everyone in the family would blame her and send her back. She wants to wait until her husband will get pissed of and when he does he himself tells her to go away. I dont know whether she is doing the right thing, but I cant push her hard to go to india, since I am not in india right now. I dont want her to pressure her too much and send her to india, then later find out that the family members has sent her back again. That would be dangerous. Unfortunately noone of her family members stay in Australia. I dont have any friends there too.. I wanted to check if there is anyone in Melbourne who can talk to my sister, so that she can make some friends and have someone to talk to.. This guy gave her permission to talk to people other than the family.
I will appreciate if anyone responds. Thanks

chocolate · Nov 27, 2008

I am surprised your uncle didnt verify before getting his daughter married. Of course your cousin sister's husband's abusive traits wouldnt have come forward even in enquiries.She needs to take a step and soon. I think the husband will never be completely turned off from abusing her or controlling her. I feel sorry her family doesnt understand what she is going thru. You can try contacting some ladies your cousin or you know really well who can be trusted in Melbourne and do post about developments.Good Luck.

Ria2006 · Nov 27, 2008

I dont think thats right thing to do. How do you expect some stranger person to intervene in anyone's life like that? Why would someone just trust anyone and start talking. It doensot work like that. I wish people gave their own life more importance than just trusting it with any stranger. Such calls to help may land you with some other predator's phone number, who may inturn take advantage of your sister. So I would strictly say no to seeking any such help from any stranger here or any other website.

If her own family doesnot understand her pain and support her than whoelse can she expect to help. I just dont understand such a stand where she will do anything her family would ask under pretext of marriage.

If it was my cousin, I would ask her to take her own stand and walk out. Rather than looking upto anyone else in family.

Ria

kavya007 · Nov 27, 2008

Hi,

I fully agree with Ria. You are asking for open friendships on the internet and it might land your cousin in more trouble. So please be careful before divulging any personal information to any person.

Thanks,
Kavya.

corallux · Nov 28, 2008

Dear Kavita,

First of all Diabetes is not an excuse to torture one's spouse.

Please so not give out any personal info on the net. Your sister is better off contacting the woman's helpline.

I can assure you, Oz has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to abuse of any kind including domestic violence.

Your sister can dial 000 & her query will be handled in a confidential manner. If she feels comfy discussing details with an Indian Organisation, she can always contact FIWA (Federation of Indian Women's Assoc).

Regards,

Corallux