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Need for Pre-marital counselling?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ilite, Jun 5, 2010.

  1. ilite

    ilite Senior IL'ite

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    After having read so many threads here and coming across different situations in relationships within family and friends, I have been thinking if we should take the concept of pre-marital counselling seriously in India? Should we recommend our family and friends to go through one before taking the leap?

    Here are the reasons why I would think it will prevent and resolve a lot of issues in our societies:

    1. Be it arranged marriage or love marriage , I think our society is not used to the concept of equal relationship between the spouses. Previously , whether good or bad, the wife would put up with the husband as she believed 'she comes to her marital home in a palanquin and only leaves when she dies'. This has changed substantially now since women started attaining financial independence. The men, I guess are still to catch up with this idea since their mothers/grandmothers were very different from their wives.
    2. The same goes with the parents of spouses as well, especially on the guys' side, their DILs are very different from the older generation, hence their find it difficult to accept her. Even when they have daughters, at times, they have different rules for DILs and daughters.Since our families are still very parent-oriented, a bad relationship with in-laws can put the marriage on rocks
    3. Parents of our parents' generation , especially, the middle class struggled a lot financially to put our generation in a comfortable position today to have jumped leaps and bounds. So , is it wrong if they expect us to support them if they are not living very comfortably now. Financial issues are one of the main issues between couple.
    4. The concept of both working is very common these days. Sharing the household work and the responsibilities of the kids is another point of dispute.
    The counsellor could guide them on all these issues to set up a basis of the relationship and the couple could actually enjoy their initial years instead of having constant fights and waste their precious years.

    There are many more such reasons, but I would like to request you all to add to these and help decide if we should set up pre-marital counselling offices and advise couples to attend these to prepare them for marriage.

    I think it will help the couple to understand what it means to get married, discuss their thoughts on managing finances together, accomodating each other's families, plans for their own kids, household chores, expectations if both are working etc.

    Lets get started..

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