Thanks for ur reply @ashneys . Yes the need for additional help is actually a no brainer and I am going to get a helper for some additional chores other cooking until I can find a suitable cook. I am very clear about my meal times or kids schedule for it makes it tough if we don't follow a schedule and it did lead to some comments , but I generally ignore any comments for things which are not in my control. My DH however is affected and though I am not sensitive that way ... I do feel guilty for my DH's emotional stress and my DH helps as much as he can from making coffees, to occasional breakfast / meals. But he has to told / asked if he can do so and so everytime (when he has time ).