need advice

dear neeraja,
you have not mentioned whether this friend is a man or a woman, either way please make a move, because the life that you hve with your son is more important any more..whatever may be the consequence of this friendship it is not healthy though. being in US even gay relation is acceptable and i dont think you have mind set to put up with that...so take the help of your people and move..dont break down and spoil your son's future...sunkan

 

Dear Neeraja,

Sunkan is right. Do not worry about anything except your son. Take care of your son. Iam sure there will be some special schools in India where your son can get placement. Just check it out thru your parents or inlaws or friends. Try to make friends closeby, thru the school or nieghbours. You really need one.

Is your hubby's friend he/she?
How did you allow this from the first?
Cant you talk to his friend and make he/she understand atleast for your kids sake?

Dont lose hope. Have Faith in God. He will surely show you the way.

 

hello,

I am assuming this friend of ur husband's is a male? Then, the next question i wud like to ask is, is your husband gay? i am sorry to be so blunt.

looks like you need to confront your husband abt this. Once its clear, then, u can decide how to move forward. Since you feel that there are no special facilitaties for your son in India, then, by all means, work out some arrangement by which your husband will provide for both u and ur son financially but mentally you need to prepare urself - that its just u and ur son.

take care

 

Hi Neeraja,
My name is Vandana I just joined the ladies forum and read your story. I really think there is something going on between your husband and his friend. They will not admit if something is going on. Just think about it who will write a male message saying that he can't live without him. This is the sign. I haven't seen any family man ignore his own family and give whole time to his friend. Neeraja accept the reality. People who are doing wrong will never admit that they are doing wrong so don't depend on them. First of all are u independent. Can you support yourself and your son if get out of the house? Second, you don't need to go to India just because this guy has decided to choose a male upon his family. Third You are in USA there are many ways to get help and surviive in this country without your husband's help. I would really encourage you to take a legal advice. Trust me you will be amazed how much rights you and you son have. If living here is beneficial for your son then don't go to India i may be able to help you to find some organization who will help you to stay in USA. Your husband has to support you and your son it doesn't matter if you live with him or not. May be moving out of house with your son will hit his foolishness and if not then you know the answer. The world is so big and you will find much better life then you are living in right now. Trust me I went through situations may be little worst then yours but i am much happier now by taking right steps for me and my daughter. Please reply and let me help you.

Personal question do you really love him?

Thanks,
Vandana

 

hi neeraja ,
i feel what vandana said is absolutly true ,u can think well on her advise and follow her .be positive always and u can live happily,there is long life ahead.
bye, shashi.

 

Hi Neerja,
Firstl i want to know how come you allowed your husbands friend to live with you for so long. What made your husband get so lured to him, that he is vary of the existence of both you and your child?? Do not just leave your marriage and walk out. Its no fault of yours.Try and find a way of getting the friend out of your house instead. Why must you give up everthing.Stop doing things for your husband and his friend , like cooking laundry etc etc.Ask his friend to pay for the apartment while he is living with you`ll as well as share the cost of living. Out a strong foot down, and make their lives miserable instead of spoiling yours. If your husband is beating you up call the cops, he will be in trouble and not you. Dont be a coward and run away and leave them both to live a funfilled life and think you left them easily.All the best . Keep us posted.

 

Dear Neerja,
First of all i want to know why you have allowed your husbands friend to live with you all for so long?? What lured your husband to him.Does he pay his share of living with you`ll and share the apartment cost as well. If no ask him to do so or else ask him to leave. Dont cook or do their laundry. Why do you want to leave them and be destitute, for no fault of urs. Make their life miserable. Find ways and means of irritating them so that the friendship breaks or at least he leaves the house. It is your house . Dont give up easily.If your husband beats you call the cops. Make them realise that you have backing of the legal system. If your husband still wants to live with his friend ask him to leave the house. Be mentally strong. Your marriage is not made of air , which can just break. If you leave and go elsewhere they will feel that they have succeeded is chasing you away. Why should you go , make their lives miserable day in and out.If they want let them go. See the changes then, All the best. Women are more capable and stronger than they think.

 

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