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Need Advice To Stay Positive!

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by shivanya07, Dec 10, 2019.

  1. shivanya07

    shivanya07 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello all,

    I generally have a positive attitude towards life. But from the past 3 months i feel everything is going downhill! I dont wish to be specific about each problem. But Whenever there is a situation to wait for a result, be it for greencard, promotion at office, increment , schools or health related check ups everything is giving us a dissapointment! Whenever one such thing happens i keep telling myself that its ok but the failures/dissapointments keep coming one after the other and making me loose my positive attitude. And to top it all, everybody else in the friends circle are getting the things which we have been strugling to get and expecting to happen , very easily. I had never before compared our life with others and was very clear in my thinking that each persons life and journey is different. But these consecutive dissapointments in the last 3 months have changed the way i think. How do u guys keep urself positive in such situations? And few of the failures were very painful because we were completely deserving and were very much hopeful to get it. So sometimes i feel may be god is telling us that we dont belong to the current place and have to change it. May be change job etc. I have started comparing with others life which i badly want to stop. I keep thinking why is this happening to me alone? I badly wish to be back to my positive self again. How do u stay positive when things you badly wish to happen doesnt end as expected? Need some help to stay positive!
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2019
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  2. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    @shivanya07 I'm sorry you are feeling like this. First remove the thoughts of comparison, this will make you miserable . Now coming to life in general positive doesn't mean only certain milestones or achievements. We are blessed with so many great things, which we don't notice in day to day life. Just close your eyes and think about your life in general. You have a roof over your head , food on the table and not threatened with any major disease. Even that is a blessing. Things might be delayed but it is not like they are never going to happen. Don't make some random conclusions on what God wants you to do based on some sequence of events in your life. I'm not sure if you are into spiritual reading . I have read many books published from Ramakrishna Matt and they are very simple to understand and help us get out of negative thoughts . If that is not in line with your interest you can check self help books in library . Sometimes back I read a book about writing gratitude journal. Do you think something like that will help ? Sometimes the problem may not be big but our mind balloons it up so positive thinking is like a needle which will blow up that balloon. Focus on long term goals . Continue your positive thinking or prayer whatever gives you peace of mind. I hope you get what you are looking for from this Universe...
     
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  3. shivanya07

    shivanya07 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you soo much @mangaii for your encouraging response. What you said is right may be the problems are not soo big! It looks big since i have started comparing it with others. I am still figuring it out how not to get bothered about the happenings in others life and concentrate on my own! May be I would have faced the dissapointments more bravely if they had come one at a time. Since they all came together one after the other i completely feel dejected.
    Few things which is hard to get for most of the people and we are also a part of that group, now that looks like an easy scenario to accept for the heart. But things which others are getting without much effort/struggle and we are on that minority group who couldnt have it , somehow that scenario is very difficult to accept.

    After venting here, i have atleast realised what you said, Firstly, Comparing with others will only make me more miserable! Second, I need to embrace my dissapointments and move forward. Because i keep thinking what if the outcome had come as i expected and how nice it would have been, i could have done this and that..:facepalm:

    @mangaii can you please let me know those books from Ramakrishna Matt, i would love to read them. Thanks again for your time and reply!
     
  4. Anastaizzia

    Anastaizzia New IL'ite

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    Hello! When I nervous and have stressed, my mood stay is not good. I need to de-stress and want to be positive, and only one way helps me. I make sport exercises. This helps me Cronometro Online and music. I make exercise when time goes on, after ending the timer will notify me with a sound signal. And I am feeling better. Try it will help you.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2019
  5. anivijay

    anivijay Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I have been practising Law of Attraction for sometimes. I would suggest, list 3 or 5 things you are grateful for. It could be as simple as sunshine, a flower in a garden, a roof over your head, food on your plate anything. This actually shift your focus from negative for positive. This is the simplest you could do when things are not going as planned. Practise this for few days and you will feel the difference.
     
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  6. EverydayBloom

    EverydayBloom Silver IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    We went through lot of hurdles in the year 2019 compared to previous years starting with loosing father to visa issues to DH losing job to my job loss to many!!! Its human tendency to compare your circumstances to others lives, it usually happens when you are low or loosing your battles constantly..but always remember nothing is constant yet alone "change"!! We learned so many life lessons in these bad times and big one is STOP looking at the things on which people wish to show up (esp on social media platforms and real-time too), stop worrying on the things with no control of self (visa related stuff), making short term goals and fully focused on them with implementing plan and silently achieving them, celebrating small victories.. these are things We(yes as team couple) implemented this year and surely saw the light at the end of the tunnel and can't wait for new decade!!

    I wish you all good luck for your new goals!!
     
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