Need advice!!Plz very tensed

cutekid · Dec 23, 2009

Dear friends,

I had a miscarriage during my first pregnancy,then I am pregnant now after 6 months of that episode.We have just shared with our family & I stay abroad 4 hrs from India.My mom wants me to quit job and stay home.She was asking me my priority in life.She wanted me to come to my mothers place to stay and relax.I know they care for me & are very worried.But what I was thinking was to work till delivery,call mom here for delivery & then go back to India for 2 months once the baby is born.

I am very upset & cannot decide.One part says I should leave the job & just go back to stay with them...no risks.Another side says...I can stya here with hubby ,take good care of myself & work.

I just finished my first trimester,I was on harmones & injections due to bleeding in the early part,but now everything is fine.I go by car to office just 5 mins from home but do all the household chores with my hubby & cooking.Please advice me.

Still I am very afraid of enjoying & sharing this news & ppl say such things I become more tensed,basically all my friends are housewives and think its not safe to work during pregnancy.My job is not desk job,I have to keep standing for a while as I am a researcher.But my office ppl are supportive.Plz gv ur honest opinion.

Can I share this news with everyone without any fear????
Thanks for ur advice & time

Priya_Mommy · Dec 23, 2009

Hello Cutekid,
Congratulations for your pregnancy.
What is the reason for your earlier miscarriage? Is it due to some health issue or just because of your standing work you got miscarriage?
Pregnant women must stay active throughout the preganancy, and its a myth that pregnant woman can't work. But ofcourse your mom's concern was as you already had a miscarriage, so that she dont want you to be in that phase again. Healthy mom delivers healthy kid!
Discuss with your family persons about pros and cons of deliveraing baby in abroad and if everything is normal you can work till 9th month. Let your family persons know that you will stop as and when you feel uncomfortable. Take occassional offs to office whenever you feel staying back at home.
This is the time you need your hubby's moral and physical support during daily chores,doctor appointment, shopping etc....
If you have any query , we are here to support you!!! Enjoy your pregnancy. At work place also prepare them that at any point you are ready to quit due to pregnancy complications. So that there won't be much work burden on you.
Stay healthy and happy to deliver a healthy child!!

cutekid · Dec 23, 2009

I had misscariage due to blighted ovum earlier.This time I had bleeding in my 6 week, may be due to work but then I took leave till 12 weeks.
Thanks Priya for quick reply appreciate it.

Vasumathy · Dec 23, 2009

HI Cute Kid,
Since you have completed your first trimester, the chances of MC is pretty low i hope. If you are healthy, no complications at present, continue to work till you can. Get some support for house hold work if you are getting exhausted. If your mom can come to your place till delivery or after that too, its fine. You will feel the comfort.

Inform your pregnancy in your office & friends. Get some support from them too. Take some rest often.
Eat healthy & stay healthy.
Sticky baby dust to you....

Drpreethis · Dec 23, 2009

Cutekid,

You can work during pregnancy.. Infact I would say, working is a lott better than sitting at home. Atleast your mind is occupied and you are busy.

If you have a supportive hubby and dont have too many people to attend to in the place you live, working as a researcher is good going. Just take frequent breaks and dont stand for long hours.

You can always get your mom to your place when you are in the 9th month so that your hubby wouldnt miss the first glance of your baby or even the labour. I am sure many men learn a lott durng their wife's labour. They become more patient.

So, keep going with your job and take off once in awhile when you feel tired and chill at home.

Since you have moved tot he 2nd trimester.. Break the news in style !!!

Blighted ovum is a thing of the past and you wouldnt have any chance of it now. Time to share the news with everyone.. Trust me, it is a treat by itself..

COngrats on your prgnancy and take good care.

cutekid · Dec 24, 2009

Dear Vasumathy & Preethi,

Thanks girls,when I get to hear such great advices from more exp ppl like u n priya feeling a bit relieved.Actually I was feeling very guilty,felt I am doing something wrong.
My MIL was also telling me that its their ponly son's child and they want to do the baby shower in 5th month and I shld return and stay with them for 1 month.....It difficult to say no to them....coz they dont want me to work now....but I have got good job & prospects.Baby is most imp. I dont wanna compromise in any sense,I have decided if in future my baby needs me,I will take a break for yr or so...but I am not mentally prepared to be a stay home wife.
I just enjoy my work & my hubby is very supportive.But this difference of opinion betwn my elders and me is really making me worried as I want my pregnancy to sail smoothly.
As per ur advice i will try to call my mom or travel once back home at 5 month so that they can see me & do babyshower n all.My hubby wants to see the baby from the very first moment,hence he dont want me to leave for India for delivery.So just hoping for the best.
Thanks again!!!

loonypooh · Dec 27, 2009

cutekid, blighted ovum is not uncommon, and if thats the reason that u really dont hv to worry about not doing the household chores now...i was till 2 hours before i was admitted to the hospital, fixing breakfast for self and DH

2nd trimester is the one where ur energy wld be at its peak, so enjoy!i wld say keep all your leaves for after ur baby is born, thats wen u wld truly require them....

cutekid · Dec 28, 2009

Thanks Poonam,

Ur baby is very cute...

asha_karthik · Dec 28, 2009

cutekid.. congratulations on your pregnancy !
like others here say, go ahead and share your pregnancy news, and you will enjoy the special attention.
last trimester you need to be careful again if you have to stand for long. i think the employer cannot engage you in jobs that would harm your pregnancy in the last trimester. check out if this information is right and look for minor alterations in your role during the last 2 months at least. take care..