Need advice: My lil angel goin away frm me :-(

Dear Rajshree Akku...
i can understand your state of mind....balancing home and carreer is very much difficult and requires lot of compromises
Few suggestions from my side
(1)why dont you ask your MIL whether she too can shift along with you both to the new place so that she can take care of your LO...tell her the issues that run on your mind ,convience her and take her along...i guess that would be a better option....
(2)this is not possible,tell your MIL that you people would shift when they too do as you are not fine leaving DD and staying away
(3)again this is not possible,if you are fine,look for a day care nearby the new place
(4)this too not possible,then if its fine with your office,start workFromHome and arrange a nanny and you and DH take turns in doing this WFM
(5)4th too not possible,you and your DH talk with your BIL and co-sis about your LO's issues and ask them to adjust for sometime(till next year maybe) by staying at the same place(as they are at present)..if you have a proper communication with your BIL,i guess this would work out...
(6)none of these are possible,yes you would have to leave your DD with her GP and shift or cancel your study plan and take appropriate steps

Whatever may be the running on your mind,talk with your H and take proper decision...you should not repent later....you still have a month's time

All the best!!!!!!!!!!

 

Tough situation...I wont tell you what to do but if I were in a similiar situation this is what I would do. I wouldnt leave my child with a GP (whether mother or MIL is irrelevant to me) for 24x7 care unless I was too sick to care for the child myself or there were some other extreme circumstances where there was no other option. I would first of all talk to my DH about this and what his mother is suggesting and make sure we both agree on a decision (one which does not mean being seperated from the child) and then get him to convey that to his mom. As for BIL and his wife its their call about moving isnt it? Just like they want to do whats convenient for them you and DH do whats best for your family thats all. If the ILs are moving to your city next year then at that time you can all plan your living arrnagements togther; by that point your DD will be going to playschool anyway and the amount of care she needs will have decreased.

Vanathi.

 

You poor dear! My suggestion is not going to be any different from the others here.

Anyway, here is what I would request MIL, if I were in your shoes. Since you really want to be close to your child, tel her that there is no option called, "leaving away my child with MIL or mother". As for staying with BIL and his wife, they will have to adjust for just 1 year till your inlaws shift. They are adults, they dont need you. Your child needs you the most. Convince her that its OK for newlyweds to stay alone but its not OK for a 2 year old to stay away from mommy.

If your MIL is really bent on BIL living with you, you have little choice but to convince (beg, plead bla bla) him and his wife to adjust for 1 year.

Actually, its easier if you first convince your DH...get him to convince his family.

 

Hi OP,

Your current arrangement now with your parents close by is perfect for your DD.

So it is better, you do not make any changes in it in the best interest of your dd.

Let your BIL and CO-sis know how much it is important to have your DD taken care of and request if they can adjust. If they cannot, let them be and shift together in future when your PIL's will be with you.

 

Rajashree. Ur MIL is being unreasonable. Newly weds should be left alone infact .
Let ur BIL and co-sis move to another house. U stay where u are ...close to ur parents.
1 yr is too long a period to stay away from ur LO even if u can see her on the weekends.
Put ur foot down and just tell her u cannot be without ur LO for so many days. What is ur DH position in this? Can he be without seeing the baby :bonk