Need advice and suggestion

lakshu · Apr 13, 2010

Dear thankyou so much.

Foundlove · Apr 13, 2010

Lakshu,
Its clear you don't like him as you mentioned Average personality at least thrice in your posts.

Don't compromise for security.He sounds fishy to me.

About agencies..google it or check yellow pages/phone book. Or ask brother casually about it.

However I think if he is divorced then chk his divorce papers as that is a public record and is avail in courts and if his wife expired..talk to her parents...

But if you don't like him..don't go to all these hassles.

FL

flowerlady · Apr 13, 2010

Meeting him just once is not enough ! Why is he hiding the truth about his wife and kids ? Will his kids live with you after marriage ? He has to tell you everything before however sad it makes him.
I hope he is not looking for a young rich widow to finance his business.
If your family does not like this proposal then these could be the reasons. Dont be in a rush and marry the first man to propose to you.
Why is your daughter looking for a father -figure , generally kids do not like to share their mother with a stranger and his kids.
Tell your family to look for a nice person for you since you are not able to judge a person or his motives.

lakshu · Apr 16, 2010

Dear, AT last he came with the truth to me over phone, he married twice, first married life was only for 3 months, the second he got a girl child. They were alive and living seperately. But he said he is a widow, why he told like that to me, I don't know. He said don't have a doubt on me. I will give you a very good life. I don't know to believe that person or not.

He told these things I would have hide from you, but I don't want to cheat you I want a very good family life to lead. he too said, AS he missed many things in his life he need a very good woman to share his rest of his life.

Yet I didn't give any reply, It is shocking for me that twice he married and he got a child too.

please think and reply me.

lakshu · Apr 16, 2010

Dear,

one of the ILite has suggested to put my profile in Shaadi.com, I put my profile in Shaadi.com, any response comes let me know,
thanks

lakshu · Apr 16, 2010

Dear, My parents and my brothers suggestion is to be a widow, they are telling that is good for you and your daughters. Already my elder daughter went to hostel, since the college is very long from my residence. Me and younger daughter (7 years old ) are living in a house. We feel lonely and afraid some times. My parents they want to enjoy their life and they never want to sacrifice anything for my sake, my brothers they have their own family to see.
I don't know whether I need a support or to be lonely like this. Since I have two daughters at one time they will leave me and move to their own life. If I think on that age that is useless.
please give me advice.

Priya16 · Apr 16, 2010

Lakshu,

Where do you live like in an independent house.If so why don't you think about moving into an apparment.Where you will less fear about security.

I beleive if you stay positive then you think many things do occupy yourself.
Give least preference to get married again.If you find some one who suits you locally and after knowing for a long time then only think about the marriage.

One thing for sure if you get married automatically the priority for your daugthers in your life will go down.
The person who married you will have his own priorities.It's not his mistake.
See other things you can develop yourself.Like practicing yoga and finding some volunter and find some other women who is in need and a good person.That way she can help you and you can help her.

I know you din't have good life but now you can make your life better and you dont have to have partner for it.With lot of difficulties if you could finish your studies then you should have lot of will power.Use that will power to make your life much more peaceful.

I am not against marraige but you need to find suitable one even if it takes next 10 years but don't rush in and it's not good for you nor for your kids.

I know you will be in your daugthers thoughts even they are growing and don't think they will not think about you.

But for current situation you need to get strong emotionally.For that practice yoga or enter into more spritual where you gather will power and strength.

All the best.

lakshu · Apr 16, 2010

Dear, thank you so much, what you said I am practicing now, ie meditation, yoga, walking, prayers etc everything. I am in a independent house, but apartments are also now a days not safety becoz i heard many incidents happening in flats. Iam not rushing in any way. If any suitable person comes in my life surely I will discuss about that.

flowerlady · Apr 17, 2010

Please drop the proposal of this man who is after your money, house . Just say no to him and wait for a really nice person to come along.
Why are you in a hurry ? Start studying or learn something like tailoring etc then you have yourown shop/ boutique . You can even try to do beauticians course and open a beauty parlour.
See one thing leads to another and you will meet many new people , gain confidence . These days people are getting remarried in their fourties and fifties too !
Be patient , Shaadi .com is good you will get proposals , try other marriage sites too.
Best of luck !