Need A Shoulder To Lean On??

Does everyone need someone for mental support to share their pain?? Does someone's shoulder is so necessary for each and everyone of us to lean on??

The following quotes says 'no':

Same quote with different addition at the end:

1. Never share your secrets with anybody, it will destroy you

2. Never share your secrets with anybody because time changes frequently and your secrets could play as sword for you by others

3. Never share your secrets with anybody because if you can't keep it to yourself don't expect others to

4. Never share your secrets with your bestfriend because your bestfriend has another bestfriend and that bestfriend has bestfriend

And a need for shoulder??

1. Sometimes you don't need a shoulder to lean on, your pillow is enough for it.

2. Do you have a shoulder to cry on? Someone who will listen to your deepest sorrows without judging you?

3. Need a shoulder to cry on? Pray to God.

But

Why to think it as secret not pain? Why it's considered or judged that the person has become weak by sharing pain?

Both funny and good quotes say 'yes' you can

1. Share your secrets it will set you free

2. Before you share your secrets make sure your listener is neither a speaker not a script writer( not by profession but by mind)

3. Husbands are best people to share your secrets with and to lean on because they aren't even listening. ( But not all are same, if it comes to chatter or pestering it is acceptable quote)

My views on it:

Before my marriage, i used to pen everything in a diary and I feel very comfortable about it. We are three sisters, I am the youngest, so both elder sis share and spent quality time with me. After their marriage, it was my turn to listen to them and give a shoulder to lean on. But it wasn't reciprocated by them. Their secrets lie within me but mine lay in a diary. Whereas I don't wanna make my parents worry too much about me.

Though my diary carry my secret, it is not similar to the feel to vent things out than to write. As the day passed, Writing it down, every word do carry emotion but to say it out loud , express anger has been suppressed by me known-unknowingly.

This made me to distant myself from others only from sharing secrets but I am very talkative, a way more talkative. And the way of expressing emotions changed:

If i watch sentiment/painful scenes - the acting mistake made me laugh than to look so into the feel of it. Or one can say I wanna run away from feeling it and stay strong.

Anger?? Uhh... No comments, move on, ignored others totally . But beyond limit , pretending there is no existence of such person.

To share pain - No comments. I am totally fine. It happens in everyone's life

After marriage, it's just two of us. Even though we both stayed alone be it in hostel/individual house before, this marriage life changed me.

Now I am just collecting diary for noting expenses/ important things. DH helping me to come out of my cocoon. It's been two years, still i listen to my sisters, but this time I have my DH to vent out my pain and relieve myself from anger.

Keeping you mentally happy makes you physically strong. Though I have become dependent and unlike before i cry so soon over simple matters, that mental pressure has been reduced.

It's not easy task for DH to break it but everything broke when he alone all by himself took care of me during miscarriage and literally no one was around. When it's easy for everyone to share good things why that distant arises when something painful happens is big question mark. They love me but that doesn't mean they can't swallow their pain to face me.

Now, after my resignation, right now I have got a small cute pet from DH so that my mind from miscarriage,baby can be distracted. When I had idea to get pet to have someone around me, he had other thoughts. Then why to be secretive? Why not lean on him when I am in pain? Why not let him lean on me when he is in pain?

It doesn't mean there should be a secret, it doesn't mean there should be someone's shoulder to lean on. It's not bad at all to have secret, to have someone to share it and to lean on someone. But that someone must be your well wisher not someone you wish he/she could have been.

You can become mentally strong by being independent and keep secretive memories. But it doesn't mean you are mentally weak if you become dependent to share secret. It takes more effort to share pain than to keep pain as secret. And please don't think getting counseling means you have some problem. When there is no one to share and really wanna vent it out, it's best to meet a professional. And what does counseling mean, to get a guidance right then what's wrong in doing it professionally.

Must say when I feel it hard to face everyone after miscarriage and find it hard to speak with, IL made it easier. Next to my DH, I don't feel secretive/scared to share my views. You can say it can be because I am not saying it to everyone in person but if I wanna do that I could have done it in any site. But here in IL, you all share good views. Try to understand things and reciprocate it and share views Directly be it good or bad, being Frank about it is the best.

Then it's not bad to lean on someone right? Why I am posting it in health forum? Be happy, let your mind free , stay strong and mentally healthy . Keep smiling always.

 

U gonna keep it to yourself so it can't be breached

But u r keeping t in cloud chances are there

 

True ma

But have to be really cautious on whom we lean on