Narcissist Person ' Wife

#Only one solution... run!

*If you cant leave, accept it, but silently divorce him, by living in the same house, detach completely, ignore, dont call him out or argue, dont fall for gas lighting/ manipulation, set the boundary, consider him as an emergency vehicle/ furniture.
&
**Focus on what you want, love yourself, & live your life.

* ( I guess there is no physical abuse)
**This wont give you a happy married life, but you can utilize rest of the time on earth in a better way
# also, read about avoidant personality traits as well, quite similar to some of the NPD traits.

 

What you need to do is not engage. Let him say whatever he wants, then walk away. What he wants is to see you suffer. He wants you to engage, respond, suffer etc. That’s how he gets his energy. Don’t give him that pleasure. Your silence and unaffected nature are your weapons. Don’t ask permission. If he complains, tell him that if you are such a bad person, he is free to leave—but don’t tolerate disrespect. Walk away. Isolating you is his way to control you. Communicate only if needed, and even then, stick to general topics.

Also, have full control over your life and money. Be independent. Learn more about NPD and empower yourself. Start building friendships, family connections, and a social circle. Let him lose his control. Be strong and unaffected, like a rock. Learn the grey rock method. You know who you are—you don’t need his approval at this stage of life. Let him think whatever he wants. Slowly start doing things alone and gain independence. Don’t seek his approval—just do it.

Do some exercise, have pets, pick up hobbies, practice yoga or meditation. Be as calm as you can. Gain courage and inner peace. You are strong—just change the script and begin a new chapter. If he orders you, don’t obey. If he doesn’t say it respectfully, walk away. Keep your standards high. Give respect, but don’t allow him to disrespect you. You are pure and precious. If you don’t value yourself, nobody else will.

Do whatever you want. Have a peaceful life.

 

Why #1 the original post is not to be seen here?

 

I am wondering did you dedicated yourself to look for that reel on all over youtube than came here to post or first login here and pasted to the reel link which you had 'save later' .

but before getting into conclusion to what DDream mention better back test.

Make sure both are calm state of mind mentally prepare to have open discussion. Have conversation on what's wrong and what is the reason of this silence.

• When he opens up to you, yourself be open to listen to what he is saying without saying a single word or cutting him off during talk.
• Try to journalise it and not to use that information against him during smallest tinyiest argument (it feels like last betrayal before disaster) and discusse it without debet or argument (I hope both are mature enough for this if one is mature and another is immature it may get compllex or go other way around).
• If you cut him off without even listening and letting him finish he will not ask or demand for second chance. He will end up conversation and never say a word about again ever and that gossip will be incomplete. When he feels lost or he feels as if his is talking with himself, he will feel he is wasting time, enegy, emotions and sentiment try to explain his wife who is lost in there own thoughts.. ZIP!! end of discussion.
• Also this is why males mostly have conversation with only male bestfriend and that too when there are no females around "wo sunega bhi aur uspe char gali bhi bakega fir samjayega kya sahi tarika hai aur baad mai mood sahi karke ghar bhi chodega" which usually doesn't happen between husband and wife.

Most biggest problem in marriage is 90% time ladies don't listen completely or get into argumentle debate before a guy even finish and immediately start pounding back. If you think I am wrong look for own mother and father as an example. It maybe due to the overthink that is parallely going on while the guy is speaking but in current era espcially men NO ONE listen literally no brother, no sister, father will help, if his mother is dead and friend are not there no one will listen. Even sometime friends abandon when friends themself have happy life and such illfated soul comes whining everytime happy friend meets this sad person.

Thinking of him as a human being and a social animal when no one is listening to him he will emotinally drain thinking about whole purpose of life or ending it. Going from colourful jolly person to all pale grey and white in nature.

If his had different nature pre-marriage and 3-4 week post marriage or few months compare to post marriage or if nature was same post-marriage for 3-4 week or months but later went cold after few months. Than there must probably some reason which may have happen by mistake and never spotted or not discuss. Maybe he is in his in bubble of misunderstanding which dosent exist in reality. Or maybe someone from relative or family gather must have hurt his parents sentiments from her family relatives, or past affair. You have to figure out yourself.

Whatever DDream said might worsen situation or escalate situation although it is last resort but no need to jump to conculsion.

Talk with a marriage consilor for best solution.

Incase if I have hurt anyone I didn't mean but a nutral third eye view to the thread discussion.

 

She’s talking about her 35 years of marriage (mentioned in another post). Your points are VALID for a normal marriage with a mentally healthy, empathetic adult. But there’s a big difference between a “normal” and a “narcissistic” person. Please educate yourself — the link OP shared provides more information, or you can check videos on that channel. (Why are there so many channels on this topic? Because it’s a real problem many people face.)

My comments apply only to marriages involving a narcissistic or avoidant partner — not to a genuinely good person. Narcissists often appear kind and charming to others but treat their chosen victim very differently. Because of this double-sided behavior, others usually find it hard to believe what the victim experiences.

What I said was simple: avoid engaging in arguments, detach emotionally, lower your expectations, stay calm when you need to speak, don’t overshare, and focus on your own well-being. I also encouraged her to maintain her own standards and sense of self — that’s the only way to survive in such relationships.Listening and good communication are great qualities, but they have to go both ways. When only one person is listening, it doesn’t work. Being heard matters to both men and women.

In a narcissistic relationship, you’re never seen or valued on a deeper emotional level — just given breadcrumbs or “love bombing” as a form of control. That’s why it feels so lonely. Love and patience can’t change a narcissist unless they truly want to change themselves.

After 35 years, I believe she knows who he is and how much she has tried. She’s a survivor.

If you want to understand more, there are many helpful resources on YouTube — just search “how to survive with a narcissistic person.” Traditional marriage counseling often doesn’t work in these situations, since narcissists can manipulate the process. It’s best to seek counselors who specialize in NPD. Talking to a counselor alone can help OP heal from the trauma and regain control of her life.

 

Post#1 (OP’s post) and #3 a response hv vanished from the thread.