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Myth: Child sex abuse , A western Phenomenon

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by zingy, Jun 4, 2010.

  1. Custard

    Custard Gold IL'ite

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    Hello Pomegrnite,

    Sorry to hear about your story.Looks like you faught with your emotions and are leading a happy life now. I wish you all the more happiness :thumbsup.

    Very true !!!
     
  2. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Pomogranite,Sorry to hear your story.I hope you have evolved to be a strong lady and leading a happy life now.


    Teacher, What you said is perfectly right.

    I have read in a magazine that abusers threaten the child that if they do not accept they might tell the parents that they did something wrong (like less marks or they ate choclate or that they did not do the homework) which might reap severe punishment from parents.Hence the child OBEYS them.I read of one incident where a uncle of the child who is very close to her parents(parents believe whatever he says) had abused her throughout.What a tragedy.:rant

    I think everything boils down to how approachable the parents are to kids when they are in such trouble.
     
  3. tikka

    tikka Gold IL'ite

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    bhuvnidhi, you hit the nail on its head. Yes, if parents put the child ahead of everyone else, trust the child and most importantly engender that trust in children, then even if abuse were to happen the healing will be quicker.
     
  4. zingy

    zingy Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Janavi,
    A well written post and liked your points very much .

    I would like add one more point. It is very important to teach the kids to trust their feelings (feminine Intuition in gals ). What matters is their feeling not the intentions of other person and it is OK to say NO when someone they trust and care about does something they do not like.
    --Say 'NO' and getaway --
    This is very important as in our culture unquestioned submission or obedience to elders is taught as virtue for the children
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010
  5. zingy

    zingy Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Very True. Innocence is gift of the childhood and is replaced by heavy burden of guilt,hurt,shame due to this atrocious offence. It is very diifficult to heal without support and counsel.
     
  6. sarma

    sarma Senior IL'ite

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    One more thing I tell my kids is that to be always careful with people who take jobs where the kids are. They were shocked when I first told them cautioning about the clowns, baby sitters, volunteers who work with kids etc. Then I tell them, suppose you are one of those bad guys, what kinda job do you look for? It always makes the point with them.
     
  7. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    hmm.. good point.. I might have to put that across to my little one too when he can understand better..
     
  8. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Absolutely true sarma...

    In all te western countries, if you work with kids you must have a fingerprint check or police clearance. Not that it always catches the culprit but atleast the system is in place. In India you can get a police clearance without any detailed investigation...someone comes home and asks you if you lived there during the period mentioned and then you get the certificate in the mail. Whatever I say goes...there is no central database to check because child abuse victims don't report it to the police nor is it considered important enough to keep a database. This is if yo are honest and you give all the details correctly. How many paedophiles are going to report that detail t the police?

    A friend of mine found that for 250 euros, anyone can go to India to work with NGOs which work with children. NO checks, no clearances-atleast not the intense investigations which teachers/workers are subject to when they apply for jobs with children, in the other countries. Not to say that everyone who comes from abroad to work with our children are predators but India is a big destination for paedophiles.

    R
     
  9. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Absolutely true sarma...

    In all te western countries, if you work with kids you must have a fingerprint check or police clearance. Not that it always catches the culprit but atleast the system is in place. In India you can get a police clearance without any detailed investigation...someone comes home and asks you if you lived there during the period mentioned and then you get the certificate in the mail. Whatever I say goes...there is no central database to check because child abuse victims don't report it to the police nor is it considered important enough to keep a database. This is if yo are honest and you give all the details correctly. How many paedophiles are going to report that detail t the police?

    A friend of mine found that for 250 euros, anyone can go to India to work with NGOs which work with children. NO checks, no clearances-atleast not the intense investigations which teachers/workers are subject to when they apply for jobs with children, in the other countries. Not to say that everyone who comes from abroad to work with our children are predators but India is a big destination for paedophiles.

    R
     
  10. Custard

    Custard Gold IL'ite

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    Hello Teacher,

    thats great!!:thumbsup! I wish we have such things in India as well!
     

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