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Myth: Child sex abuse , A western Phenomenon

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by zingy, Jun 4, 2010.

  1. zingy

    zingy Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    child life is wasted is not the right way to say but again It is too heavy a emotional burden to bear for the child which is seldom shared. Child abilities and aspiration will get definitely affected if the healing does not happen. Apart from parent support Psychiatric help is very much required.I have known a friend who gets emotionally distressed anytime and anywhere she sees an oldman with a kid esp little girls . Be it relative or friend though it happened when she was 8 and she is now around 25.She is married and she was afraid to have kids. Thanks to her DH she is slowly recovering .
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2010
  2. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    You are very true,Zingy!I feel very sad for your friend.

    As a mom , I would say it is our resposibility to ensure that the kid is free to speak to us in case she feels she is abused.Only if the abusers are punished severely and the if there is a social stigma that the abuser will not be treated properly (should not be called for family gathering and for any festive occasions)these things will change.But it happens the other way in our society.We gossip about the victim hurting her (be it an adult or a child)when the abuser walks freely with respect at times.:rant
     
  3. Godschild

    Godschild Silver IL'ite

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    I agree with Zingy and Bhuvana.

    I was abused at the age of 9 by a relative.
    A cousin of my dad. I was initially very hesitant to tell my parents.
    But this B****** started visiting us very often and esp when my parents were at work.
    So one day i did reveal all this to my mom.
    She brought it to the notice of my dad.
    And as Bhuvana stated my dad did think about him hurting me and the society etc..
    The next occasion my dad met him was in a family gathering.
    My dad hit him and the entire crowd was wondering why.
    But the B******* knew why. With that we severed all ties with him and his family.
    Although the other relatives where curious on why my dad behaved so irrationally, my dad never spoke a word and in due course of time all was forgotten.
    Two years back I saw the same B****** at a wedding with my cousin’s kid.
    I really can’t express what all I felt at that moment. Was shocked and disgusted.
    Then I realized that my dad should have exposed him in public.
    The only thing I did then was called all my cousins and narrated the entire story.
    And to my utter shock few of them said that the same thing had happened to them.
    But none of them even revealed it to their parents.
    CSA affects the child in such a way that the child even fears telling his/her own parents.

    It’s sick and disgusting that a child abuser is living amongst us without any guilt or shame.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2010
  4. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Godschild, :hatsoff to you and your dad.
    In your case, you were brave ,you had a supportive parents and your dad has handled it very well given our society outlook now.

    This is what I am talking about.How can they be so shameless? I can't understand how can one see anything apart from innocence and cuteness in a child.:rant
     
  5. Vishalini3

    Vishalini3 Silver IL'ite

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    Godschild, Even I have had similar experiences myself, but my parents werent supportive, I had to read a lot, self-help kinds, to come out of the trauma. That was indeed great of your dad, to believe and support kid's issues :)
     
  6. Godschild

    Godschild Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks Bhuvana and Vishalini.
    Agreed that without my parents support things would have gone haywire.

    I've heard about parents who've accused kids when the child reports to them on such incidents. Which causes further damage to the child.
     
  7. zingy

    zingy Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    Bhuvandhi,
    India lacks serious laws for sexual offense against childrens compared to US where anyone under 18 is considered a kid and has very serious laws protecting them but in India child is only < 12 years .

    Enacting laws is not in our hands but creating awareness and extending support is onething we can all do.

    A question ?
    There was a bill which was supposed to have been passed in parliement 2008-09 which deals with various offences against children including but not limited to sexual abuse,incest,grooming for sexual act,pornography etc . Anybody knows aout it ? Whether it got passed and what are the details ?
     
  8. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    :thumbsupI am with you on this.

    I think it was in 2007 probably when the govt was advertising about this.They even came up with beautiful(???) pamplets (came as AD in newspapers too) which helps us teach a kid the difference between "Good touch and Bad touch".Is it the same?

    I did not know that a Bill was to be passed that time.Sorry,no idea on this.Probably other ILs might throw some light on this.

    Zingy , But isn't CSA a (LEGAL) crime in India?:bonk
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2010
  9. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    To seek help, don't we have to accept that life is not wasted-esply because of someone else's act?

    Laws get passed because people demand/recognize the need for it...not just by those who are affected but also those on the sidelines...
    R
     
  10. zingy

    zingy Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    I belong to this category I did not share with anyone untill few years ago. It happened @ very young age that I remember some instances and use to cry myself to pillows imagining what might have happened . That person got his legs broken (God does punish ) and did not come to house for some years. Once we had visted his house later when I was about 10 or 11 He tried again that time I stopped him with glare and fore finger that I remember till date. It did not happen again after that.
    I did not have much knowledge about Sex till I was in college . I had actually thought I had been raped (Emotionally I was ) and will get pregnant. It was too much for me to handle esp during my puberty with my half baked knowledge. I was addicted to books used to read that helped me heal to some extent. But I owe a lot to a friend who I was able to share after all these years. It really eased my burden . Now I am able to talk freely about that . Though that abuser is no more and is held in high esteem in my family I still have the guilty feeling of not telling it to anyone at that point . May be I could have protected another child
     

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