My son is going hungry the whole day since he started kindergarten

Devi010101 · Oct 13, 2014

My 5 year old son is very smart in his studies but goes hungry literally the whole day. He goes to an all day kindergarten and I dare not force feed him in the morning because he will throw up shortly afterwards. He won't drink milk or anything. I have to wake him up (with great difficulty) at 7:30AM, get him dressed, and bring him to school by 8AM. He has lunch at school from 11AM to 11:20AM (Yes, ONLY 20 minutes to eat and then they are sent to the playground!). He eats NOTHING out of his lunchbox for those 20 minutes. He tried throwing his food away and telling me he ate it all but I insisted that the lunch staff keep an eye on him and return the lunchbox into the classroom the way he left it after 20 minutes and now they do not let him get up for those 20 minutes and personally take his lunchbox to the office after the allotted eating time is over so he has no chance to hide/throw away food. The school will not let me come during lunch to feed him and tell me they had should have been feeding himself by 2 years old.

His school gets off at 2PM. I spend entire afternoon and evening running behind him and feeding with - in front of the TV, in front of the computer, as he play with his toys, as he reads, on the playground, in the bathtub, it's a constant feed, feed, feed. He keeps the food in his mouth for 30 minutes before swallowing so it takes me 2 hours to feed him 4 mouthfuls of food and he still doesn't eat enough!

Last year, he went to preschool only 3 afternoons a week so I had more time to feed him.

This five full days of school is taking a toll on both of us an and he's so tired and hungry all the time. He has fallen asleep at school a few times but is in good spirits when the teacher wakes him up.

He literally eats nothing on his own; not even candies or goldfish crackers and hates food so much. I tried keeping him hungry once for the whole day and he never asked for food and I still had to coax him to take just a few mouthfuls of rice before going to bed.

I am considering pulling him out of the public school and homeschooling him myself just so I can spend more time feeding him throughout the day. He's a smart boy and the top of his class by a very big margin. He can read and write at a second grade level and knows all his addition and subtraction facts up to 20 and is learning times tables too. His kindergarten is only teaching the kids the alphabet and counting.

If I homeschool him and keep him at the top of the class, how old will he be when he starts eating well enough for me to send him to school again?

FromMars · Oct 13, 2014

You can't send him to school with no breakfast. Set up a routine and follow it. 7:30 waking for 8 o clock school is too short. Wake him at 6:00. Get the food ready by 7:00 and all of you sit and eat breakfast.

This is not an overnight fix, but you will get past this with perseverance.

Is there any favorite food of his? Maybe cheerios, pancakes, bread and jam or indian breakfasts.

Getting him to like food will also go a long way.

Sit as a family and eat dinner and breakfast for sure.

Devi010101 · Oct 13, 2014

He doesn't like any food. He's much more of a night person than a morning person so if he's not going to eat in the morning (I've tried forcing him to take a few sips of milk and he threw up in the car), I might as well keep him up late to feed him.i I don't want him to throw up at school. We go to bed around midnight. I've tried getting him to bed earlier and he still doesn't eat anything in the morning so it just increases the gap of time with no food.

No food from 9PM until 2:30PM the next day is unthinkable.
At least if I feed him til midnight, there is less of a gap of time with no food.

I let him take a nap at around 4:30 after giving him four mouthfuls of food after school and then wake him again at 6.

Joyoflife · Oct 13, 2014

I think first you need to work on his sleep habits. Set up a healthy sleep pattern. I believe there can be no morning or night person for a 5 year old. A school going 5 year old sleeping at mid night is not normal. I do not think he should be napping. If he is waking up at 6 in the evening from his nap how do you expect him to sleep before mid night. Cut down his naps. I beleive a school going kid should be definately in bed by 7:30 pm. Do not worry about less food gap or anything, it doesn't work that way. Set up a healthy routine, it really helps a lot in dealing with food and sleep issues. My toddler daughter is not a huge eater as well. She is nearly 3 and only 13.5kg but I do not focus much on scale. Encourage him to eat himself. Force feeding is a big no, no matter how much he eats or not. Take your meals on family table. Eat together. Go with a two week plan, put food infront of him on table and tell him mommy has to eat her breakfast so mommy cannot feed you today, you are a big boy you should eat yourself. Have fun discussions while eating. Do this for every meal. I used to panic a lot before. I have noticed since the time my daughter has started eating herself things have improved. Doesn't matter how messy it gets, encourage him to eat on his own. Meanwhile discuss all these issues with his doctor as well.

Joyoflife · Oct 13, 2014

Do not think of home schooling just because of food issues. Do read some books on food related issues with children. I think you really need to set up a routine.

EverydayBloom · Oct 13, 2014

Dear OP,

A small insight, sleeping in odd timings is taking toll on his healthy routine which is affecting his food habits, we all know breakfast is imp meal of the day. You are waking him up at the neck of the moment of leaving to school, 30 mins is not at all enough for even adults to get ready, how can kid will get in mood to go to school.
You need to get him to sleep by 8pm in the night and wake him at 6.30am atleast. Hows his bowel movements, is he taking enough liquids like water. He is in right age to understand the routine, explain him. If you want to bring changes in his food intake, you need work on his routine first,start the sleep routine on Friday night itself, practice early bed and early rise over weekend, make him to eat along with you guys(parents) show him videos how people are suffering for food in many parts of the world, educate him with all food info, how the digestive system process the nutrients to us, enlighten him about importance of every meal, read books to him about food from library, keep race with you guys who finishes their meal, constant working out towards the goal will surely bring changes in your kid.

I dont know why you are allowing him to sleep at 4.30pm in the evening, this will take major toll on his night sleep. After feeding let him play with his friends of age group or enroll him in some activities like soccer/swimming/karate. He has to get tired, feel hungry and then make him sleep at 8pm sharply..

Good luck

tashidelek2002 · Oct 13, 2014

OP:
You are saying he is such a bright kid and then you say he won't eat. The issue is your force feeding: this is a dominance issue between him and you. You think a little kid is going to starve? They will eat but you are the problem. Sorry to be blunt. If there is one thing that I truly hate it's force feeding.

Here is an old thread that will pretty much cover this topic:

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/baby-kids-foods/146854-why-indian-kids-dont-like.html

Devi010101 · Oct 13, 2014

Moderator- plz delete this thread.
Send me a private message if you wish to discuss.

tashidelek2002 · Oct 13, 2014

The Nurturer's Curse | Psychology Today

Behavioural feeding problems | Parkhurst Exchange

Rakhii · Oct 13, 2014

Closing down this thread on OP's request and it will remain closed until OP requests otherwise.
Thanks ladies for taking valuable time to reply to OP.