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My Sister Is Going Separation From Her Husband , Looking For Suggestions To Handle

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rose03, Mar 14, 2019.

  1. Rose03

    Rose03 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi ,

    My sister is very beautiful and talented girl just turned 30 , my mother is single parent and she never judge people. I would say she is like dump . we are rich and settled well in metro city.due to minority of our community and caste marriage only, my mother never allowed inter caste marriage.. however it was so difficult to get a good proposal in our community finally we settled one boy, who behaved or didnot show his true behavior untill marriage.. neither my sister recognize it. or she was also dump , fell for his handsome looks.

    his parents are cruel , poor and his atm card is with them. he never disclosed any earning to her.just after marriage the whole family ( he has a younger brother too) demanded portion of salary to be given to them and said it is not a PG to stay .( I stay outside india and married.. I cant think of her situation) .. he never took her anywhere outside resort or anything. they go out for eating at restaurants. like any other couple going for a trip not his cup of tea. their parents wont allow him to go..he behaves abnormal ( like special special) , we family though happened, atleast we have to fix now .

    their father used to call my mom and ask to check with doctor , as in why my sister is not getting pregnant.. ( we later realized it the trick they used , once got a baby she cant leave him) ... its the bad decision that we took blindly ( i still blame my mom for it pushing girls to get out of the home without asking their background, whether my daughter will be happy with the salary he earns and no own house.. and all the questions)

    she got pregnant , during that they used t tell one or the other reasons for not cooking meat at home. she used to have once she comes to my place. BIL used to go night shifts leaving her .. she used to get bad dreams.. she told to my mom and we told her to check with him .. he is one WASTE GUY... he told his mom and they phon'ed my mom and scold like anything who are we to ask , bla blah) . it is like giving daughter to your family , have to face all this ... we beared just like any other conservative mom for the sake of giving birth to girl... HOW LONG THIS WILL CONTINUE...... my stupid husband and family also played like this ( trust me I feel like a sin to born as a girl ) ...

    she gave a birth to cute boy ...they were coming our home to see baby .. all going we forgave them. later she went with kid to their house and started again , forcing her to get pregnant for the second baby ... and BIL also asking , she would ask will u take care ? no answers... then they were forcing her to give more from her salary , now the kid expenses got added .. they ( MIL, SIL, BIL, husband) spoke badly of my mom.. she started asking , her BIL said " get out of my house" talking singularly .

    husband also said after his brother said...she came to my home packing everything ..after 6 months husband called to come home, she said if you agree come out and live separately with me. .. finalyl they filed police complaint saying her brother took her to home... we want our daughter in law.. they bribed police and they were talking in favor of them . then we went through lawyer and filing for divorce , atleast with that they will leave him to be on his own..

    we family going through very bad phase , cant think of my sisters situation and our girls situation getting trapped..

    I am giving them boost trying to change my moms mind set not to be football of soceity..
    she deserves the best .. let her get divorce and search a boy .. she is telling she will live as single person no hope in getting happiness from second marriage..

    any successful stories of second marriage
    I want to ask, if the girl files a divorce , will she get the settlement from the husband ? what about the amount spent during marriage and all ?
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2019

  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    It's very unfortunate that she is going through all this.
    Take one step at a time. Work on getting the divorce and once everything settles , give her sometime and then think of second marriage.
    Settlement is possible . Depends on case to case I feel. Have seen a close friend getting some settlement
    Yes. Though not my personal story but just 2 weeks back attended cousin's wedding who was a divorcee. Girl too was divorced. So there is hope .
    Hope everything goes well and you are able to find some good solution to all this sooner than later.
    Good luck.
    aahuti likes this.
  3. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    First of all everyone who thinks or says they want divorce do not go and get it. 90% who think it dont do it, they find a way to stay in marriage.

    If your sister is mentally ready, physically ready to be single mom, emotional ready to face the society's taunts then go ahead. Your family cant decide for her, tomm if she never finds the right guy or finds another wrong guy then she will surely blame all of you.

    Second marriage success rate is low, thats the reality. If she can make her marriage work then pls help her. Sometimes just filing divorce can give a jolt and set things right. Happy second marriage is not very common but atleast she can be peaceful single (If she is strong enough to bear the "single" label and enjoy life).

    I always tell my friends, if you want to divorce and then get divorced and move to a diff city and country and start fresh. Soaking in the same circle and getting criticized and taking stale advice and getting frustrated will not do any good.

    Gallant and lavani like this.

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