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My Problem

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by blessbabydust, Feb 4, 2010.

  1. blessbabydust

    blessbabydust IL Hall of Fame

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    I work in a company where there are 95% men and only 5% ladies . This is usual in our occupation and iam very comfortable with working environment . me and my husband are very close and intimate never go out even for a walk alone always go as a couples .............some of our frds call us lovely love birds which is a big compliment . I usually put my husbands picture in my desk and i kiss his picture every single day as i miss him so much for 8 hours .............. funny one manager in my office started to sit next to my desk occassionally and started conversation with me as casual . Then one day it was only few people in the office and asking me repetively for lunch with him but i never go out without informing my husband so i called my husband and said this person is torturing me to lunch and i dont want to go with him so can i take day off and come home he said yes very supportively and he came home and said what happend I said he is torturing me for lunch with me and didnt listen when i said i am not interested and started to talk nonsense ( he said " you are really good looking indian girl i ever seen ... your husband is very lucky every night ) I started to feel so bad and i came home . I started to cry and didnt go work for a week then my team manager contacted me what is happening I said all the happenings and work abuse he said write an email and submit to HR . I did but he never stopped a thing ................. Iam around 30 and he is an australian i dont like to see his face again ........... i planned to quit the job and look for another work ............................. I have been performing prayers and now a days i rarely see him but he never stops talking to me ...........he comes and sits on my desk and rings my landline regularly ..................... Not in person but phone torture ................ What should i do ? I told my husband and my husband is very supportive and told to iggnore him as much as i can .........please advise so
     
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  2. SR09

    SR09 Bronze IL'ite

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    Two things you can do
    1) Quit your job - if financialy you are ok without a job.
    2) Follow up email with HR on your complain and ask why no action taken. If still no action taken, then go to even higher authority.
     
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    BBD

    One question, when you say , you kiss your husband photo everyday which is on your desk as you miss him!!! So did this australian guy watch /see you anytime when you were kissing the photo???

    Do follow it up with HR on what action they have taken, and if they dont respond as SR09 said report it to the HR manager/director. Meet them personally and convey your concern. Nothing wrong in it.

    If you can see the caller id, dont pick up the call from this guy.

    Next time he approaches you to talk, outright tell him to back off or you would file a complaint against him, not just to HR but to cops saying that he is stalking you. Cops would give a warning to such guys..

    Above all one suggestion from my side..dont take it negatively..Pls stop this kissing photograph business atleast in your next job and try to be professional at work. I understand how much love and affection you have for your husband. Am sure all wives feel the same about their respective husbands..(including me)..usually we have the pics on our desks..but we dont kiss those pics everyday..its like attracting unwanted attention!
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2010
  4. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    I too would say that stop that kissing business.It might call for unwanted attention.

    It is in your hands to be stubborn and stern.If you are brave and confident , men will think twice before approaching you.They should know that you are not vulnerable.JMO.
     
  5. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Next time he approaches you for lunch tell him I want your home # so that your wife can also join us... and yes if not wife then am sure ur having a mom.

    kissing photo & ur looks appears to be an invite to him I guess.. probably he wants his photo there!!!
    Dont appear meek by taking 1/2 day off... be stirn and tell him clearly sorry I dont go out on such lunches & will you pls excuse me for the next time.

    Going to HR is finally loosing job.. even in biggest organization who claim to have a hassel free work environment complains for higher ups are seldom taken seriously.. even if you read indepth definition of harassment that itself is highly subjective. HR finds it ridiculous on why u cant go for lunch.. there's been no obscene activity/approach etc etc.. and it appears as narrow minded approach of Indians... you'll have to handle him your way HR will not take actions untill there's something really alarming that can cause harm to you. He's your mgr & he can call/ visit you several times in the day & can infact harm your image as being overly kiddish.
     
  6. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    i dono what company your working for but that surprising no action taken against that fellow inspite of complaining..sexual harrasment will lead to most serious action including termination in most work palces..
    please talk to your hr personally
    see resigning i feel there is no point because when you join a different organisation there is no guarenty there wont be another dog like this
    so i feel more or less staying in same org and fighting back would be good
    and just want to add this
    show your hubby as much love as possible when you guys are together and call him when you are at office but dont show the public love before everyone i am not saying that caused a problem but ya when someone is obersving you doing this daily at wokr place there is a possibilty they might get some feelings
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2010
  7. lotusgirl

    lotusgirl Senior IL'ite

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    Dont QUIT your job..
    I see you are working in AUS. I guess the harassment laws there are pretty strong? Check with your HR the status of your complaint. Ask them what actions are being taken.
    Quiting a job becuase of 1 guy is not the way to go. next time he comes on to you tell him clearly you find him uncomfortable and hes intruding into your personal space and ask him to back off. write down each thing happening. If calls are coming note that and the timings and give a report to the HR.

    And lastly do stop kissing your husbands snap especially in front of your collegues. Thats not a proffesional behaviour.
    Good luck and you are able to resolve this issue fast.
     
  8. paru72

    paru72 Silver IL'ite

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    if i were u i would never quit my job but make him do it.be brave.follow up regarding ur complaint.see,if there'e any improvement.if none i suggest u keep track of his calls..record them,save them go to the cops and nail that guy.
     
  9. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Blessbaby, if you are living in Australia, you can try contact local police . this is harrassment and not work related, you can also contact hr and tell them that if they dont do something , you will contact police as there is no other option, advantage being in foriegn country is that police is not like India and work place laws are in place....

    Why you have to quit job, this is not right, dont quit the job, ask your husband to support you, I am surprised what is he doing? is he just listening and not doing anything? Go legal way ,things will be fine.
     
  10. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    If regular HR people don't do anything, ask to speak to the HR manager. And tell this guy that you have complained about his behavior and that you want him to stop. Ask your supervisor if your work station can be moved as far away from his as possible. What a creep!
     

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