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My Pound of Flesh

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007.

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Dec 27, 2007 #11

aishu22 Gold IL'ite

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Dear Shanthi,
I felt really bad reading your post.Its really disgusting to have such kinda relatives- i wud say "so-called -relatives".My mother is exactly like you.How much ever anyone teases her or pass on hurting comments, she doesnt react back to them.Instead if there is an occassion at their home my mom wud be the first one to go and help them making a perfect example of : "Inna setharae" as Chitvish has mentioned.
Many a time i have fought with my mom for her insane act (to me it was insane in those days), but now after getting married and after having met "REALLY INSANE" people in my close family(in-law circle),i now understand that my mom's way was okay...But, I would definitely not go and help them...had i been in that situation.

Have faith in God, that one day or the other they realise the value of YOU and come back to you for help......

Take care dear and may god be with you !

aishu22, Dec 27, 2007

aishu22, Dec 27, 2007

#11
Dec 27, 2007 #12

Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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Oh Shanthi it is so sad to know that you were so serious.
And the relatives..........so horrible of them, yeh they might be jealous of you ya, becoz even thou you were so serious you still woke up and did your chores and looking after the kids.
I think you should always give such people back or they will never realise and try to hurt you again in future, that is for sure.
How i wish I was there for you dear, I can only feel sorry from here. During such time we really feel someone near or dear is beside us. I know this very well when we are alone and still have to do everything as no one to help.
You are really great it is not easy for everyone to forgive, but this incident will go on coming to your mind whenever you see them.
Thank God you are back on your legs.
Takecare and God give you lot of strenght to face all the problems.

Arunarc, Dec 27, 2007

Arunarc, Dec 27, 2007

#12
Dec 27, 2007 #13

Meenaneelakantan Bronze IL'ite

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Dear Shanthi ma'am

You have been so kind in forgiving others who have pricked n pierced a lot with words.
Srini sir has quoted a nice verse from Mahabharata. Not only Hinduism, but all the religions preach forgiveness.
'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do' is the very essence of Christianity.
And yet very few are able to live up to these words because we find it interesting only when we read our Holy books, and think it is extremely difficult to live by.
What others are directing at us, says nothing about us, but it says something powerful about them. This is the foremost realization step in forgiveness.
I would like to quote a few words here about forgiveness, from a book i have read, which i can never forget..

FORGIVENESS....
You do not have to struggle with it..
You do not have to fight..
You do not have to win..
You only have to know.

Ma'am you have been great in forgiving others in a world which practices revenge in every corner of the globe. And i hope you will continue rejoicing that higher level of living!!

Meenaneelakantan, Dec 27, 2007

Meenaneelakantan, Dec 27, 2007

#13
Dec 27, 2007 #14

Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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Vysan said: ↑

Dear Shan,

Firstly, I am really sorry for not being there.

Second, As I usually tell you, kutram parkil sutram illai.... Than vinai thannai sudum, ottappam veettai sudum.....

I am really surprised, some of these thing you actually wrote in the post... You chose not to retaliate.... That is a very good gesture from you.... You felt you are hurt and you dont want to hurt the others the same way they have done to you.... That is something great.... It is not easy to follow and it needsa great heart....

Whom so ever has hurt you are actually suffering in the end... without even you saying anything... It reminds me of story from the "Auto Biography of an Yogi"... The mere thoughts will affect the other person... If possible try to forgive them and move forward...

It is very difficult to walk out silently without reacting.... What you have done is great.... I dont know how I would have reacted... These are things which is easily said than practiced... I am happy you are practicing it....
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Veda,

Writing this has been more cathartic than I thought...I don't even have single hard feeling about any of them now...I only feel bad, that they don't realise, that they are winning the wrath and hatred of others by being so heartless??

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

#14
Dec 27, 2007 #15

Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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honeybee said: ↑

Dear Shaan
I was moved reading your post.You have demonstrated exceptional patience in dealing with ruthless people.
"Is eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth" the principle? NO..
but I do believe in making people understand that their statements prick.. so that they will exercise some caution when speaking again.I will surely communicate my displeasure,but subtly without hurting them.

Regards
Sowmya
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Sowmya,

You can only communicate to a person who is willing to understand other's feelings....your displeasure or pleasure is not going to make a difference to them...That understanding should come from within....

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

#15
Dec 27, 2007 #16

varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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Dear Shanthi,
I know that you are now busy replying to this thread. Once finished, visit this thread as well.
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/f...st-december-2007-nominatons-7.html#post200313
regards,

varalotti, Dec 27, 2007

varalotti, Dec 27, 2007

#16
Dec 27, 2007 #17

Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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Sridhar,

As I write this fb i am smiling happily, i have not done anything to get this kind of affection from you people...I am recovering...and I am on treatment...with all your wishes i will recover more..

I don't have any hard feelings towards them at all...as i said to veda it is a cathartic experience... and also, it is a very difficult topic to handle....forgiving and forgetting...(when you talk, it will be said, only if you are under the hammer you will know...)..so i took up my own experience.

It is not age that gives the maturity, that is what i have understood. two of the persons mentioned were above 60..it is life, circumstances that teach you values...both of them say all the slokas, do sandyavandhanam, and everything,,saying pora velaikku puniyam (accumulating puniyam for the judgement day)..they tend to forget a small word,action hurting another human being erases or nullifies everything.

I can retaliate very harshly..I am known to put a point across like pushing a needle in a banana...but i did not feel like..i felt like how the sage must have felt when the scorpion bit..at the first instance..but later on the poison worked...making me realise i am also a ordinary human being who can feel anger,hatred...so this post is helping me erase it, out...

varalotti said: ↑

Dear Shanthi,

I was seething in rage reading your post. Had I been present when your relative uttered those heartless words, I would be behind bars today, for I would have surely murdered those crooks.

Shanthi, I am sure that I am elder to you. (My sister is your namesake and I am a sort of her mentor) And I have seen many a harsh summer in my life. I have had more than my quota of this stabbings, betrayals and back-stabbings. Even recently I was shocked by one of the cruellest betrayals in my life.

I am giving this prelude to establish my credentials to give suggestions to you in this case.

Do everything to protect you. At times to defend yourself you need to engage in offence. Never mind. Do that. But just check your mind every now and then to ensure that there is no intention to harm the wrongdoers.

You are good at praying. Just pray to God that She show a billionth part of Her love to these idiots, so that when they deal with other human beings, a faint reflection of such love will permeate and hug the other person.

Whenever you are in pain or in suffering, just think that you are spritually growing. I have gone through almost all the spiritual literature of the world, including even the Hassidic tradition. In no instance did I find spritual growth without pain and agony. And I am saying these words as much to myself as to you.

Take care. Don't let this heartless animals make you lose faith in human beings. These animals belong to a different specie, not endangered, but endangering.

Ask Veda Vyasan to fly to India for a short visit. It's going to be fine.

Love,
Click to expand...

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

#17
Dec 27, 2007 #18

Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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Chitvish said: ↑

Dear Shan,
I was very pained on reading your post.
Some people just come out with certain statements, without realising how sharp their words are.
Being much, much older to you, I have had many occasions to be at the receiving end of venomous words.It is as though some arrow is piercing you.
But, Shan, that is life & we cannot run away from them nor reply them.
Let me share with you, a few things, I learnt in my energy classes.
Imagine yourself or put yourself in a "triangle" (imaginary) which cannot be pierced by words or people. That very feeling soothes you with the thought that it has not affected you, the person, but only the triangle enclosing you. Imagine it will bounce back to an unknown destination. Do not imagine, it should bounce back to that person, no, no no.
The next moment, bless them whole heartedly. Shan, it is not easy, infact far from easy; but it is the best habit to cultivate. It soothes you so much & surprisingly, the person repents for his or her words.
"forgive and forget" are more easily said than done. Unconditional acceptance is one thing that helps us come out of unpleasant situations.
My favourite Thirukural is
" Inna seytharai"- I am sure you know it. Practising it gives us such a feeling of goodwill towards such kind of people.Thank God for helping you practise tolerance in an adverse situation.
Love,
Chithra.
Click to expand...

Chithmam,

I understand what you meant... and also quite true that forgiving makes you feel better..... ..... i never think anything negative to any of them...i just say god help me overcome this...and give them good thought..

Yes i thank god for giving me tolerance and patience.

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

#18
Dec 27, 2007 #19

Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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presci said: ↑

Dear Mam,
Don't worry at all. There are people to hurt more than to help out. It is not a necessity on our side to prove that they are wrong. GOD is there. We will be what we are. You just ignore whatever they say, i know it will hurt, but by taking seriously about those useless remarks it will hurt our health more. Like they say ubagarathukku illainalum ubathravukku neraya per irukkanga. My husband used to say when people pass such useless comments, thinkk they are mad or say MIRROR within your heart i.e.i reflects back to the person who tells.
So don't worry about those mosquito remarks.
Take care and you are going to come to your normal position soon.I will pray to GOD for your speedy recovery.
Luv,
Presci
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Hi presci,

Thanks for being here...and thanks for your prayers.

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

#19
Dec 27, 2007 #20

Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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Jananikrithsan said: ↑

Hi Shanti,
My God!! that is an awful way to react when someone is sick.When you are fighting a tough battle alone, considering the fact that you were sick and Veda is not around, thah man must have shut his mouth.I am seething with nanger at the memory of something similar a visitor said when my dad was unwell. He came to me not to console but to say ' Be ready to sign from now on , you need to taek over when he dies'. I said God alone knows who will die earlier. He kind of got it that I meant him, He said I will get all the relatives to see him for the last time. Call whomever you want, now itself from outstation so that it is not too late.
This is just to pacify you and tell you that there are people only to hurt you and not to stand by you when you are unwell. Keep handling it the way you have.
Waste of time and effort to talk back to them.
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Janani,

People who are known for their sharp tongue, cannot be made to understand their mistake by subtle references...
I have seen my share of the kind of people like the one you referred.
Thanks for being here.

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

Shanvy, Dec 27, 2007

#20

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