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My peaceful life disturbed!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by makeuplover, Jun 28, 2012.

  1. makeuplover

    makeuplover Silver IL'ite

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    I am just venting out my irritation. My brother-in-law and his wife with their 3 yr old kid is now with us for (their) vacation which I don't know is how long. My baby is just 17 months old and now feeling uncomfortable with them. Their kid is really bad in behaviour screaming and crying loudly all the time for everything. When denied of something she hits and pulls hairs of her parents or whoever she's angry with. My baby is calm by nature but she cant play since as soon as she picks up something the other kid comes running and snatches from her hands. This happens even when my baby eats biscuits. My bil shouts at his daughter and after 5 minutes things are back to square. Even my maid is irritated with them since my co-sis is a lazy fat goose who cooks but leaves everything as it is in the kitchen. My maid has to take care of my baby and protect her from the other kid since she pushes my child from behind when she walks. Moreover bil n his wife are very careless in keeping the doors open so we have to always watch our baby for her safety.I and my husband are working and we will be out of the house throughout the day. Thankfully my maid is good. but I dont know when she'll get fed up and ask me to send her back. My bil didn't do any work after his education though he's a graduate since he doesnt like working under anyone. For sometime he was doing some contract work then now dependent completely on my FIL's pension. MY co-sis is also not working but remains tired all the time. She sleeps more than anyone can. from 10pm to 8am then again from 2pm to 6pm approximately. Still she is tired. I come back from office and do cooking with my maids help but my co-sis sits comfortably with her kid and plays with her. I dont mind doing the cooking what irritates me is that she complains after this that she's tired playing with her daughter. I am a early bird who gets up at 5.30am and do some music practice and then get ready for office.leaves home at 9am Comes back by 7pm and then do cooking for 5 people still not as tired as she is! She's 2 yrs younger than me just hitting 30yrs and very fat. I took her to my neighbour's house since she is also from co-sis's place. She didn't touch the snacks they offered saying she doesnt have the mood to have. After 5 minutes she told she's leaving and left with her little monster when my husband and I were still sitting at neighbour's place. My neighbour and her husband asked whther she didn't like them! I wish they leave as early as possible so that atleast my baby gets a peaceful atmosphere at home. She cant even sleep due to the noise and disturbance from their baby.
     
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  2. jmsd

    jmsd Silver IL'ite

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    Hi

    I can understand your situation as I too have been blessed with many such relatives.
    What we do is make sure that nobody comes for a long vacation at our place.
    My husband manages his side and I manage mine.

    Anyhow in your case ,you can be either direct but if that is not feasible,you can convey indirectly.
    Your maid can convey it to them in a calculated way.
    Or may be when you all are sitting together you can say something to their hitting child"it seems that the baby will not like to have you around again"Or some carefully chosen words that can convey the message without any serious after effects.
     
  3. makeuplover

    makeuplover Silver IL'ite

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    The thing is that my co-sis doesnt like scolding her daughter even when she does some mischief saying she's just a small kid. Last time when i was at my in-laws place i saw her slapping my husband's grandma when she stopped her from doing some mischief. I told this to co-sis and co-sis says how the kid won't do like that the grandma always scolds her. I felt when the mother herself doesnt know what is right and wrong how come the kid will learn. Exactly this is what happened. Now the kid is out of control. My bil keeps on blaming co-sis for spoiling their daughter.The problem with me is that whenever my husband sees his family or relatives he behaves they are one and i feel an outsider.When we are alone he's at his best. He has told them to take rest in our bed room with ac so they sleep in our bed room in ac luxury whereas my child gets down from maid's hands to play freely. she cant sleep anyways because of the mess in the house. my maid goes to bathe or has food only when my baby is settled down since she is also scared of that other baby.
     
  4. crazywriter

    crazywriter Platinum IL'ite

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    You are very lucky to have such a caring maid! as for your niece, I think if the child is behaving very badly (slapping, pushing your child), no harm in scolding her.
     
  5. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    I can understand your situation, till when are they for the vacation ?? since your BIL has no definite job nor their baby is into school so they won't hurry to go back. Is there any definite days for how long they are going to stay or they have just kept it in suspense?

    If they are going to go back soon say a week or two then kindly bear with them as it is your DH's relatives and any unpleasant scenes will bring unnecessary tension in yours and DH relationship, but if their stay is going to be long, you can show your dissatisfaction or tiredness in cooking for so many people, or you can let your
    co-sis know that you are worried about the maid who may leave because of over load of work,etc you can let them understand in a polished way that they are welcome to stay only for short trip and not on pro longed holidays.
     
  6. makeuplover

    makeuplover Silver IL'ite

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    Hi blessed, that's the problem. Their return journey is a suspense for me as well as my co-sis. I once asked my husband and he got angry with me. I would have happily tolerated this inconvenience if it was short. My in-laws are very proud of their sons. They think that the brothers wil be happy together but not considering the unhappiness of their daughtr-in-laws. My husband is more close to his brother than anyone else so he doesnt like me commenting anything.
     
  7. tsweety

    tsweety Silver IL'ite

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    Oh very pity on you!!If your DH understands he can tell his brother in a polished way..If he is also not understanding make him to work for his brother..Once you come from office you tell your husband you are not felling well...You are very tired to cook for so many people daily..you cannot manage all the work on yourself for many days.. Or else you tell your DH that your child is not comfortable with this atmosphere..At least for your child's sake your DH should tell his brother to make it a short vacation!!!
     
  8. veenaruban

    veenaruban Silver IL'ite

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    Hi..

    Its better you tell her directly instead of tolerating all this nonsense. There is no harm in telling her as your concern is all about your kid. So you need to give importance to kids. Even I don't like kids behaving so badly and Your co-sis sitting carelessly even after her kids are so mischievous and causing lot of problems to others. Its such a indecency and mean characters what they are having.

    You should react now. Or else your baby mite end up in big mess where she mite get hurt cos of her kids.
    No matter what others think for what you say. Finally its you kid. You will be responsible for all the pains if your baby gets hurt.

    Either you handle her kids in tough manner or tell your co-sis directly as she and her kids are creating lot of disturbances to your baby.
     
  9. makeuplover

    makeuplover Silver IL'ite

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    I feel like running away with my dd. Today I had an argument with my manager at office,drenched in rain and came home, my maid started complaining about co-sis. She told that she took some milk to give to my dd from what my bil had bought since there was no other milk in the fridge. My co-sis asked whether. She made herself tea with that milk. I don't know whether its. True but my co-sis body language and facial expression are not at all pleasant. My maid has started complaining too much about bil and wife. I cant say anything to the maid also since my baby is with. Her only when I go to work. My husband has told me not to tell anything to co-sis also since in their family daughtr-in-laws dont speak against anything. though I dont scold or beat their kid when she troubles my baby I give her cold stare due to which she is scared of me
     
  10. DST

    DST Bronze IL'ite

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    Your co-sis is tired of sleeping !!!lol... Ask them whether they have any functions/festivals they need to attend, so you may get a clue when they'll leave. Remember, This shall pass too..so tell your maid,they may leave soon so she'll be happy too..
     

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