1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

My parents goofed up.... inputs

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by google, Feb 26, 2013.

  1. vvlakshmi1985

    vvlakshmi1985 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    I really think we need to grow up and stop treating SIL as stars and guest, is a DIL treated like that?
    I agree your parents goofed it up, however you said he visits them only once in 2 yrs and that's not often so they might have forgot. Please ask your husband to grow up and stop creating a big fuss of small thing
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  2. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    931
    Likes Received:
    1,352
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree to this... are you sure that your husband is welcomed in your parents's house? are they really excited to meet him??
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    763
    Likes Received:
    1,276
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    How many of us DILs complain that when we visit India, the MIL did not cook our favorite dishes or that she cooked something that she knows we do not like?
    The MIL in question would probably say "this is YOUR house, why should you be treated like a guest?"
    Same goes for SNIL. You husband only has a "preference" for seafood and not an allergy to chicken, right?
    Double standards for DILs and SNILs in our society...

    And God forbid if all NRI DILs were to keep an account of the amount of money they gifted/loaned (however you term it) PILs/BIL/SIL etc., jewels and gifts and houses and furniture etc. etc. etc. gifted...
     
    3 people like this.
  4. Maggie2009

    Maggie2009 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    669
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    It is not about fish/chicken/rasam at all. clearly it is about some money owed and the expectation that comes with lending money. my MIL even gives me leftovers that've gone off while I visit her. She hides fresh food from me. Even when it hurts I don't find it a big deal because its just a meal- I can eat at a restaurant immediately afterwards.
     
    2 people like this.
  5. Naksh

    Naksh Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,729
    Likes Received:
    2,436
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Stay calm. No big deal. Yeah better things could have happeend...but fien ..not the end of the world. dont bring unwanted attention to this, n not needed headaches on urself or your parents .....by repeatign they goofed up. its ok. leave the matter alone. and dont bring it up again, next make sure u inphorm. now tata. cheerios.
     
  6. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,955
    Likes Received:
    6,833
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Male
    I was not aware of this interpretation, but I like it! Thank you!

    Valmiki Ramayana does not mention the berries at all. That story is from one of the Puranas, in which Rama explains the forms of Bhakti to Shabari, but as far as I know, the bhAvas are not mentioned there. I know that Shabari is considered an exemplar of para-bhakti, but I had not heard of this notion of vAtsalya bhAva. It does fit in a way, because of the pre-chewed food image - an act reported in hunter-gatherer societies in which premasticated food fed to babies was part of weaning.

    I don't remember what the Kamba Ramayanam has to say about this episode ... hmmm back to the library! Do you know where you heard this interpretation?:)I do not know of any references to Shabari visualizing Rama as her child.

    Anyway, even by this interpretation, the OP's husband needs to raise his bhakti quotient! :rotfl
     
  7. Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,760
    Likes Received:
    4,258
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    The efforts we take to plan a meal for someone (according to that someone's taste) is reflective of the love & importance we give to them.
     
    2 people like this.
  8. plantscantalk

    plantscantalk Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    332
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    IMHO, Ramayana is to be felt and experienced from the heart than analyzed using the brain. Never did i think, i'd make such a statement :).
    ----
    Fair disclosure: i'm of the unemotional kind and a cynic at heart.
    ----

    EDIT; I've moved the remaining part of this reply to snippets. Here's the link: www.indusladies.com/forums/snippets-of-life-non-fiction/208800-a-superwoman-in-ramayana.html
     
    4 people like this.
  9. Decentguy

    Decentguy New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,092
    Likes Received:
    572
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I think there are few aspects missing in this story

    1. Did husband complain about the food? I don't know if he complained about the food. He just said that he ate rassam and rice and whatever. But I read replies over here that he complained. Maybe OP can verify if he complained or not?

    My guess is when the OP and husband were talking, OP might have asked " Hey so did you go to my mother's place for lunch? What did you have? What did she make". I feel ( and I maybe wrong here) it was just a casual conversation about that did he ate. Then he mentioned that I ate this dish.

    I feel the same way about in-laws( OP's inlaws) knowing about this. In-laws may have asked him...what did DIL's parents make for lunch. So he may have said they made chicken etc etc. He may not have realized that it will create an uproar. He may never have intended that. He may have innocently said that. We may never know what was in his mind...if he said that intentionally or no to create this uproar

    I personally feel since the husband has given the FIL some money, the OP here thinks that they should have made all sorts of good food and taken care of him nicely. I feel that is not right. If I am the husband, I would expect them to treat me as a guest or as a son and I will have the food as a son of the family has his food. No special treatment.
     
    2 people like this.
  10. Decentguy

    Decentguy New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,092
    Likes Received:
    572
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I love the way we give examples when we reply....... not only to this thread but other threads as well...We give example about real life scenarios or from Mythology or some real life events...That is just good writing..
     
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page