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My mother wants to know the gender of my baby !!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by anitalovesyou, Mar 22, 2013.

  1. anitalovesyou

    anitalovesyou Silver IL'ite

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    I am enjoying my pregnancy, and I talk to my sweet baby all the time :) But I am noticing an interesting thing now in my pregnancy--- My mother (NOT my mother in law) is very much interested to know the gender of my baby !! She keeps on asking me what is the gender of my baby, and how soon I can find out and tell her. And when I jokingly ask her what is her choice, she tells me she wants a boy ! The reason she gives is the boy will take the family name of my husband forward :spin She says she will be ok if the baby turns out to be a girl (which I dont think so from her regular questioning and preference to know the gender of the baby). I am surprised my mother in law has not even asked me once ! My father also wants a male child strongly !

    This is my first pregnancy. Should I disclose the gender of my baby, when i find out? or keep it within my husband and myself? What should I tell my mother now and even in future after the baby is born ?? Pls help.
     
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  2. anitalovesyou

    anitalovesyou Silver IL'ite

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    I am enjoying my pregnancy, and I talk to my sweet baby all the time:) But I am noticing an interesting thing now in my pregnancy--- My mother (NOT my mother in law) is very much interested to know the gender of my baby !! She keeps on asking me what is the gender of my baby, and how soon I can find out and tell her. And when I jokingly ask her what is her choice, she tells me she wants a boy ! The reason she gives is the boy will take the family name of my husband forward:spin She says she will be ok if the baby turns out to be a girl (which I dont think so from her regular questioning and preference to know the gender of the baby). I am surprised my mother in law has not even asked me once ! My father also wants a male child strongly !

    This is my first pregnancy. Should I disclose the gender of my baby, when i find out? or keep it within my husband and myself? What should I tell my mother now and even in future after the baby is born ?? Pls help.
     
  3. Fortune1

    Fortune1 Senior IL'ite

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    First of all congrats on your pregnancy...i feel your mother is just asking out of some curiosity and she might be concerned about your inlaws...explain her that you and your husband dont mind the gender and will be very happy for the baby no matter what gender it will be...also tell her that your inlaws do not mind it either...IMO there is nothing wrong in sharing the gender with both set of parents and siblings...enjoy ur pregnancy:)
     
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  4. Quebec

    Quebec Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    anitalovesyou,

    congratulations on preggers.........

    Welcome to IL also.........

    Tell her that doctors dont tell now as it is very strict and also that hubby doent want to do this bad thing of finding out and be selective........

    After child is born dont say anything....... Once the grandparents see their grandchild mostly they forget their prefrences and their second childhood starts..........

    Rarely if parents still admanent say hubby very possesive about child and will get angry if her finds out so dont talk like that please........

    Take care
    chow
     
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  5. DiViV

    DiViV New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    In my case it was my MIL who wanted a boy. Its surprising that your parents are more interested in knowing .we knew the gender of our kid, but we withheld the news from everyone.we lied to them that we never checked the gender. Its entirely your choice to tell them or not. Truly speaking, it will give you a peace of mind if you don't reveal the gender to anybody. congrats on your pregnancy and have a lovely journey of motherhood. Don't fret over these meaningless things dear.
    Cheers!!:)
     
  6. anahita5

    anahita5 Gold IL'ite

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    your mom might prefer a boy for you as it is ingrained our society that boy child is better. I don't think she will treat him/her differently, afterall they are nana - nani. Everyone wants the best for their kids. It's just curiosity on your parents part. Discuss with your DH about sharing the gender and with who and when. I had told the gender of my baby to my coworker, to my hair stylist, to anyone who wanted to part of my happiness, whatever works for you. All the best with your pregnancy
     
  7. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    OP,

    You live in the beautiful and awesome U.S., so you can find out the gender of the baby. I would suggest not telling anybody that you've found out the gender. Say 'baby was shy', technician couldn't find out gender even after trying for 1/2 hr.

    Keep things simple.
     
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  8. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    First of all congratulations on your pregnancy. Best would be to tell the doc/technician you do not want to know the gender and want it to be a surprise. Tell your parents that you don't know either. End of story. Whatever comes they have to accept. If the baby were to be born in India they would not have the option of knowing either. And what are they going to do anyway even if it is a girl? Are they going to ask you to terminate it? I doubt it. Tell them your pil are happy either way and not to worry too much. So why bother at all? Just relax and enjoy your pregnancy.
     
  9. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Just throwing in the American perspective: we like to know the sex so that we can buy appropriate presents for the baby (boy stuff/girl stuff/boy colors/girl colors). Lot of family discussions (few fights) about names. Baby rooms decorated without rush. Takes stress off all involved.
     
  10. Padmasudha

    Padmasudha Bronze IL'ite

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    A perspective from a(n ancient) mother! I have always liked the (old) Indian perspective- a baby is a baby, and we do what we can to keep it comfortable- colour and worldly goods dont matter to it, unless they have an impact on comfort. With a matter of fact attitude, there is very little (physical) change one needs to make in the house to accommodate a new baby.

    Of course, this may not go down well in a consumerist society where conspicuous consumption rules.
     
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