My Mother departs...

Cheeniya · Dec 5, 2009

Dear Twinsmom
I am grateful to you for your words of condolence. I can understand what a beautiful relationship you might have shared with your FIL from your anguished words of how much you miss him. I do hope this will make the members who entertain such hostile feelings of antipathy towards their in-laws to reappraise their equations with them.
Thanks again, Twinsmom
Sri

mkthpavi · Dec 10, 2009

Dear Sir

I have been on and off on IL in the last few months, hence missed this post

I feel very sad after reading it - May paati's soul rest in peace. God is great and has a purpose behind every event in our lives.

I read your Navarathri reminiscences recently, before I read this one and was sharing the incident with my husband about paati wanting a daughter and dressing you up as one - it brought a smile on our faces just thinking that in those days and in our society, when daughters were considered a burden, paati actually wished for one....

That paati shared her life with her great grand children is testimony to her strength of character and the will of God that she should hv the opportunity to spend her life so fruitfully in the company of her loved ones. In current times, we children are so far away from our parents, let alone grand parents. The generation gap, lifestyle changes are all leading to a situation where family togetherness has become a rare event. No amount of letters or phone calls and emails can replace the physical presence and the wit and wisdom of elders.

I salute you and your family for the example you have set. I can only imagine the irreplaceable loss that you are going through. Feeling sad

With a heavy heart
Pavithra

keshavkutts · Dec 12, 2009

Dear Sir
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. May her soul rest in peace.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal"

Cheeniya · Dec 13, 2009

Dear Pavithra
I thank you for your kind words of condolences. My mother was a remarkable lady and the very epitome of adaptability. I always considered her an ageless wonder, not because of any youthful looks which she did not have but how she managed to keep even a toddler engaged. She was quite at ease whether she was in the company of octogenarians or school kids just back from school. She shared a very special relationship with my wife.

She may not be around physically but she has left a strong presence. I can only compare it to the 'Saannidhyam' of the Mother of all Mothers.
Sri

Cheeniya · Dec 13, 2009

Dear Keshav
Thank you very much for your kind words.
That quote was very profound. It is difficult not to agree with it!
Sri

Viswamitra · Apr 7, 2012

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

You had mentioned about your mother in so many of your posts and it makes me believe that I had known her for years. What a wonderful person she was and what a wonderful son you are to reciprocate to all her expression of love with equally vibrant love for her. Her approach to death was a leaf taken out of the scriptures. Many of us read it, some of us understand it but there are a handful like your mother who put it into practice.

You made a profound statement by stating that greatness is inherent in everyone but it is how people prevent other things blocking the view of such greatness. Your mother lived a wonderful life and I am sure her journey to be together with the Universal Absolute would be as pleasant as her mortal life and possibly better.

My philosophy regarding parents is very simple. Do every thing that is possible for them when they are alive rather than focusing on doing whatever they like after their lives through rituals. Considering that you have done everything possible to make her happy when she was alive, you should feel good inside your heart. That is what matters at the end of the day.

Even though belated, I wish her achieve eternal bliss in the August company of the Universal Absolute.

Viswa

shyamala1234 · Apr 7, 2012

Dear Sri,

I did not know that your mother passed away. When you were mentioning about your mother I thought she is still with you.....of course she is with you mentally though not physically.memories would always be there. Nobody can erase them. She stayed with you (or you stayed with her....), took care of her,she led a full life and earned place in everyone's heart. I believe that we should do whatever we can when they are alive. After they left this world only "smrithis" remain.

Syamala

Cheeniya · Apr 8, 2012

Dear Viswa
It was my mother who gave me the real meaning of 'Immortality'. When I was young I always thought that immortality meant victory over death and that was how I understood it till much later in my life. Now after my mum's death, I am able to understand the full import of the word 'Immortality'. No one in my house treats her as dead even though more than two years have gone by since she ceased to exist in flesh and blood among us. My youngest grand daughter always buys the chocolates that my mum loved and leaves them in front of the picture of hers that is placed in the drawing room. My elder grand daughter leaves her pen and hall ticket before the picture before leaving for the examination hall. So does my grandson who is a Medical student. Nobody does anything without taking her blessing and consent. Isn't this what immortality all about?

I entirely agree with what you say about dealing with our parents. What is the point in treating them badly when they are alive and the moment they are dead, perform all their obsequies in the most ostentatious fashion? This is hypocrisy of the worst kind!
Sri

Cheeniya · Apr 8, 2012

Dear Syamala
It is more than two years since she shed her mortal body but she continues to live with us as always taking part in our joys and sorrows and offering us the much needed stability of thoughts. Death is inevitable but what we leave behind for our children to cherish must be of an enduring nature. That can be only the sweet fragrance of their love and utter concern for us.
Sri

PriyaKat · Apr 10, 2012

A deeply moving tribute to a mother. I was amazed that you could write this barely two days after her departure ; that's the time it would take for an absence to sink in, for the void to make itself felt.

I loved her playful attitude ( " naandaan konjanumaa.......") and can imagine what a lovable character she would have been.

To live a full, contented life, its serenity springing from the philosophical slant of the mind, loved and cherished by children and grand children is indeed a great blessing and this lady truly seems to have enjoyed the real Riches of life. Such lives are to be celebrated , not mourned.

I cannot get over the vision evoked by your words : " As the door of the furnace slowly closed shut, I could see the flame engulfing her hair and flesh..." I have never seen - nor will ever get to see - a crematorium . Only heard how bodies are put into the oven-drawers. Never imagined a person can actually see the burning inside ! Your description wrung my heart in a cold clammy horrific squeeze. To watch the beloved face that was a pillar of strength and security in one's childhood being gutted ; the hands that , in an embrace, wiped away all miseries of life, being reduced to ashes ....this I think is a most awful experience. An event that shakes the human mind out of its myriad mayas and opens the eyes to seek the Truth about the 'whys' of human life .

I dont think i will sleep well tonight . I dont want that scene reincarnating as a dream , with my mother in the trolley. I feel like crying.