1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

My Mother departs...

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, Oct 9, 2009.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    11,896
    Likes Received:
    14,982
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    We had one last mournful look at her serene face before the trolley carrying her frail, lifeless body was pushed into the gas furnace. As the door of the furnace slowly closed shut, I could see the flame engulfing her hair and flesh and I remembered her words that the root of all our desire and misery would be the first ones to be consumed by fire once we are dead. An agonizing wait of an hour and my mother’s mortal remains were delivered to us in a small pot completely reduced to ashes. My weather-beaten elder brother, who scaled his bureaucratic peak as the Chief Secretary of the Government of Tamilnadu after weathering many a storm, was totally aghast. He merely said that it was all so ridiculous if this was to be the climax of our life. Quite a few of you might remember my thread http://www.indusladies.com/forums/cheeniyas-senile-ramblings/7727-a-life-in-reverse-5.html in which I had raised a similar issue.

    It is about 48 hours since my mother attained divinity through her death. Only in my previous thread about my Navarathri Reminiscences, I had mentioned of my mother’s disappointment about her not being blessed with a daughter and about how she brought me up as a daughter during my childhood. Little did I realise then that I might have to write her obituary in my very next thread. She was as amazing in her death as she used to be throughout her life. Her terminal illness was brief but her pain was apparently very acute. This was probably due to the violent battle that her frail body waged to retain the life that kept it going for 96 years and her life wanting to break free from her worn out body. But if she had any pain as was bound to be caused by such an epic battle, she hardly betrayed it and bore it with dignity. I have never known her to have nursed a fear of death till the end.

    She spent her last few days preparing for her death as if she was about to take a pilgrimage though she knew that this time it was going to be to a place whence she would never return. She was only particular that at least few of us should be around her when she left on her Great Journey. Accordingly all of us kept constant vigil to witness her departure. But man only proposes but it is God Who disposes. When the fateful moment arrived, only my wife was near her while the rest of us were attending to some personal or official chore or the other. Even my wife who was standing next to her when her breathing subsided, could hardly notice it as it was so natural, peaceful and bereft of all fuss.

    There is no one to call me a child any more. I feel as if a decade has been added to my age. The sudden void created in our lives can never be filled. All her memories come rushing back to me. I can see her sitting on my lap with her hands around me when I was a lad of five asking me why should she be petting me all the time and not vice versa even for once.(Naanthan unnai konjinde irukkunuma? Neeyumthan ennai konjam konjen!) Even in her deep attachment, she was restrained and detached. She never let her attachment grow into an ugly passion and consequently she was never possessive about anyone or anything. That was probably the reason that her relationship with my wife remained peaceful and loving during their entire 42 years of association.

    All of us could see the love that she had earned from everyone when we saw my 13 year granddaughter crying uncontrollably for three hours sitting next to her body. Death has only snatched away her body from us but her spirit will continue to live in us for eternity. I now see that greatness does not come from doing great things. I now know the meaning of acquiring greatness. Greatness is inherent in everyone but it can become visible only if we restrain unbecoming thoughts and negative emotions from covering it and making it invisible.

    My mother’s attitude towards her death cannot be explained better than in the words of Khalil Gibran:

    For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
    And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides,
    That it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
     
    GoneGirl, Giri12, ashima10 and 5 others like this.
    Loading...

  2. shakambari

    shakambari Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,703
    Likes Received:
    625
    Trophy Points:
    240
    Gender:
    Female
    May your mothers soul rest in peace, Cheeniya Sir.

    My deepest condolences to you and your family members.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2009
  3. aishu22

    aishu22 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,598
    Likes Received:
    109
    Trophy Points:
    160
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Sri,

    May your mothers blessed soul rest in peace. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
    And I salute you for bringing up a post about your mother in this hour of grief.
     
  4. Ammukutty

    Ammukutty Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    859
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Cheeniya Sir,

    My heartfelt condolences.May her soul rest in peace.
     
  5. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    135
    Gender:
    Female
    Cheeniya sir,

    I am moved to tears. I fought myself so hard not to read this post. It brings in the strange emotion back in me... the fears and agitations of a child living so far away from ageing parents...

    May your mother's soul rest in peace and let her soul guide you all as she always had as a human...

    my heartfelt condolences to you all...

    Latha
     
  6. banuabida

    banuabida Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    503
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Sir,

    I really dont know you much. I saw other people referring you "Sir" and so did I. To be honest, I have not read this post.....I cannot imagine your plight...without a mother....sorry for that...

    My doubt...how could you post at this time of grief....I mean...you must be having a tough time really...my prayers are with your family...your mother will always be proud of you...

    God bless you and your family!
    D.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2009
  7. shvap_786

    shvap_786 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    5,847
    Likes Received:
    163
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    Cheeniya Sir,

    My heartfelt condolences to you and your family... may you mother soul rest in peace...
     
  8. abhatv

    abhatv Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    273
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Cheeniya sir,

    I really do not know how to express my condolences. I do remember very vividly how she sat and talked to me and my son when we visited you. May God Almighty give you and family the strength and forbearance to go through this.

    Love,

    Abha.
     
  9. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    3,343
    Trophy Points:
    355
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear cheeniya sir,

    I am so sorry to hear the news.
    Like you say it is shocking to read about her demise so soon after your post on navrathri. I liked her very much from your posts. Loss of a near and dear one is hard to bear at any age. Anyway you have the consolation that she has been very well looked after by your wife and you and that she lived a full life seeing her great grandchildren too. I pray that her soul rests in peace.
     
  10. moozypie

    moozypie New IL'ite

    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Deepest condolences Sir..

    May her soul rest in peace.Your post reminded me of my grandma, who I lost in March 2009
     

Share This Page