My Mood Was Spoilt In My Vacation

Sometime in June last year I posted about a new diet journey. Okay all was well and i did shed 4 5 kg with 2 months consistency . Sometime after that festivals started I couldn't 100% stick to that diet. But overall my appetite reduced.. Also the friend/dietician who shared those weekly diet charts pushed me for resistance training. I couldn't start anything immediately when she was pushing. Time went by. Her follow ups started becoming intense. I was totally ignoring her messages. I even spoke to her saying for me her diet chart is not sustainable. Like I'm not able to add paneer, eggs, soya everyday in my meal. I feel yucky to add the deflated soya flour in my chapathi dough, 15ml oil/day i just couldn't stick. I tried n tried and gave up and went back to "we live once, why restrict food" mantra. She kept motivating but I ignored her messages. She finally said I can continue the program once I'm ready as it's a 12week diet chart program and I finished only 7weeks .
Few months back my digital weighing machine stopped working which I had purchased in June last year. Didn't bother to get it replaced nor repair it. The kitchen weighing scale I put inside a kitchen shelf which I rarely open because seeing that scale n not measuring my food n eating was stressing me out. Seeing that I'm reminded that I'm supposed to be on diet but I'm not able to. So I put it away from my sight.
Now looks like I gained all the weight I lost.

Now I'm in a mental state where I'm soaking in guilt. I had done some shopping in jan during the sale season. I had tried out a belt n purchased it. It was proper fitting. Didn't get a chance to use it in these two months. Now I got for my vacation and man that belt isn't fitting me . I might have gained that 4kg plus few extra kilos looks like. I'm not even checking my weight for the fear of seeing those extra kilos.
I'm so demotivated and my mood in the vacation is spoilt. I don't feel like getting dressed up n take pics. Couple of my dresses in vacation are dependent on that belt and I'm unable to wear them.
Ended up borrowing husband's track and shorts
Did I need a bummer bigger than this to spoil my mood in the vacation?
How to I motivate myself to lose that 15+ kilos??

 

Thank you Sui for taking time in between dad's surgery to write this.
Yes I have joined yoga classes from feb and it's going great so far. I wanted to start slow n took 12 classes/month instead of all days.
Daily surya namaskaaras was on my list.
After this message I feel I got that much needed push to do it more religiously.
A speedy recovery to dad. He's in my prayers.

 

Thanks. Gaining weight was a challenge for me in my 20s and teens.. I was this skinny olive oil types. I just could eat anything and not gain at all.
In my 30s it's the other challenge. Losing.. Ha ha
. Cycle of life...

 

Thank you. this made my day.
Good luck with yours...